FCTB029: Why It’s Important To Slow Down and Take A Break

This week’s episode is about the importance of slowing down and taking a break. Sometimes we wear being constantly busy as a badge of honor. But remaining busy for too long and not slowing down runs us all the risk of burning out.

At some point, busy-ness isn’t as productive as perceived. Turns. When this happens, it is best to step back, take a break and re-energize. I’d like to compare our productivity and sanity to working out and muscle-building where rest is just as critical of a component to make it effective.

I will not be doing podcasts for a whole month, as I go on a break. I will be going on a vacation, to slow down and focus on an exciting project that you’ll hear about on this episode.

Today, I devoted the podcast to discuss the Why and How of slowing down and taking breaks.

Reasons to Slow Down:

  • It allows us to re-calibrate and deal with things from a new perspective, and an example of when the simplest fatigue gets to me (6:21).
  • Allows for personal reflection of our circumstances and needs and a story that illustrates how busy-ness preoccupies us from doing so (8:00).
  • Slowing down and taking a break lets us pay attention to certain facets of our lives to maintain balance (9:25).
  • Resting and taking breaks prevents us from constantly being in our heads, doing or thinking about something instead of being present and just enjoying the moment (10:43).
  • Stepping back permits us to be more effective, especially with routine or repeated tasks, and come up with a system or process to make things more efficient (11:44).

How to Slow Down?

  • Just take a break – it can be for a couple of minutes, days, or weeks (13:17).
  • Take vacations and step away from your daily routine (13:58).
  • Turn things down and say no when you have too much on your plate (14:23).
  • Give yourself more time to accomplish things, everything doesn’t have to be done right now (14:50).
  • Be an MVP – Minimally Viable Product – this isn’t necessarily the best, greatest, top of the line product, but it’s the one that gets the job done and keep things afloat (16:01).

It is often perceived that by taking breaks we lose time, when actually we’re gaining more time by doing so. I hope that this episode gives you something to ponder on especially if you’re always on-the-go.

Give yourself a break, breathe, and maybe be an MVP.

If you’re having serious withdrawal, you can find me on the blog and all over social media.

Subscribe to the podcast via Patreon for other exclusive content and other perks. You can also find the show on iTunesSoundcloudStitcherGooglePlay, and Podbean. Remember to leave the podcast a rating and review on the platform you’re listening to so we can reach more people and move up the rankings.

 

 


FCTB028: Celebrate and Honor Yourself

My twin sister graduated with a Doctorate in Education, a truly big achievement, and she decided to host a big party to celebrate that.

This made me devote this episode on celebrating our accomplishments no matter how big or small – celebrating all the things we’ve done, and what we’ve gone through in our journey. Lisa Nichols said that what gets celebrated gets repeated, and I think this is reason enough for everyone to honor our journey and efforts towards our vision and goals.

Some of the points raised in this episode include:

  • Why I initially questioned the need to throw such a big party where our family and relatives converged – with balloons, banners, cakes, the works (0:51)!
  • A surprise that got me bending over backward to execute, which drove me to ask myself why I don’t do or buy the same things for myself (1:45).
  • The need to take time to celebrate ourselves, and not wait for big things or moments to do so (4:35).
  • Why a mindset that we still have so far to go and so much needed to accomplish prompts us to compare with others, feel inadequate with what we have, and keep us from going when we’re already 3 feet from gold (6:14).
  • A story of a 4-hour drive to Dallas where I had to borrow my sister’s car made me ponder on the reluctance of other people to celebrate their wins to protect the feelings of people they love and prevent others from feeling inferior (10:40).
  • How shining your light can improve your feelings, disposition, confidence and motivation, why these positive experiences must not be denied from ourselves, and how, in turn, it benefits those who come behind us (13:00).
  • The need for things in our lives to be aligned with whatever point of our lives we’re in, and honoring that our satisfying our needs – which can be through material things – can serve as a celebration of our growth, and allows us to show up better and give better (15:00).
  • The story behind the moniker Modest Charlene and why I encourage people not to be too modest and instead celebrate their victories (18:52).
  • Identifying areas that aren’t congruent in your life, and reasons why you’re holding back from celebrating (22:10).

How do you celebrate and honor yourself? It doesn’t matter if you do it in an intimate or grandiose manner, the important thing is your ability to give yourself a pat on the back for what you’ve done and reached. Doing so gives us positive reinforcement to do more and achieve more – and this ensures personal growth.

I would love to hear your thoughts and experiences on this episode’s topic. Share them in the comments section or email me directly at charlene@fromcaterpillarstobutterflies.com.

You can show your support by subscribing to the podcast via Patreon and get first dibs to episodes and other exclusive content. You can also find the show on iTunesSoundcloudStitcherGooglePlay, and Podbean – kindly leave the podcast a rating and review on the platform you’re listening to so we can reach more people and move up the rankings.

Thank you for listening and supporting From Caterpillars to Butterflies. Until next time!


FCTB027: How To Be Content Where You Are

A couple of days ago, I saw a post in social media that implied someone not being content with their life. Upon reading that, I wonder why people entertain negativity in their lives, and tend to wear their misery as a badge of honor.

My belief that life is a series of journeys where we ought to be always working our way towards something, pulled by a vision, lived in positivity, and putting our energy towards our goals’ realization.

Today, I tackled the negativity and discontent people experience navigating their lives, and how to deal with dissatisfaction when it is inevitable. Other areas I’ve discussed are:

  • Working towards a vision without despising where you are, and avoiding the misery whilst in the gap by training one’s self to shift mindset from focusing on negativities to the more satisfying parts of life (3:54).
  • The paradox of what people unanimously want out of their life vs. how they’re living it, and Esther Hick’s philosophy of being satisfied with right here and right now (4:30).
  • How practicing a contented mindset provides an individual to have the energy and motivation to work on goals, and how at the other end despair kills motivation and desire (6:03).
  • How satisfaction and dissatisfaction can co-exist in our life in a model similar to the Yin-Yang (8:05).
  • A narrative on how a family weekend gathering highlights how satisfaction and discontent can exist at the same time and space, how I responded to the situation, and how to find the overarching theme in this co-existence (9:10; 18:33).
  • The reason why people tend to focus on dissatisfaction, and how to properly acknowledge its presence and the friction (11:22).
  • Why we need to view dissatisfaction with our current situation as a blessing instead of a curse, and as an indication of growth (13:05; 20:40).
  • How to deal with dissatisfaction by identifying what’s causing it, acknowledging and taking actions to close the gap between discontent and contentment, and making the process of the closing the gap be your journey (15:20; 20:52).
  • Understand that as long as you’re committed to your life’s journey there’s no need to be unhappy, and despite obstacles, you’ll push through to get to your destination (17:22).
  • The importance of practicing being satisfied as they key to enjoy your experience of life (21:30).

Relevant Links:

Home of Abraham-Hicks Law of Attraction

You Are Meant To Transform (How A Caterpillar Becomes A Butterfly) | From Caterpillars to Butterflies

FCTB007: Why You Need A Personal Growth Plan and How to Create On | From Caterpillars to Butterflies

Feeling contentment in a fast world of unending demands may seem elusive, but it is just a matter of changing one’s mindset. I hope that this episode helps you to get into that mentality, and I challenge you to make that shift now.

Is this an area you need help with? Email me at charlene@fromcaterpillarstobutterflies.com or comment below so we can catch-up and see how we can work together towards a more satisfying life.

Thanks for tuning in and your constant support. Subscribe to the podcast via Patreon to get first dibs to episodes and other exclusive content. You can also find the show on iTunes, Soundcloud, Stitcher, GooglePlay, and Podbean. Remember to leave the podcast a rating and review on the platform you’re listening to so we can reach more people and move up the rankings.


FCTB026: How Your Personal Growth Influences Your Spiritual Growth and Vice Versa

If you’ve been following From Butterflies To Caterpillars for some time, you’d know that I advocate growth. I also believe that personal growth and how we live our lives is an extension of our spirituality. Personally, I find that the work I’m doing improving myself and helping others achieve personal growth serves a broader purpose and benefit the spiritual life.

 Faith without works is dead. James 2:20

I discuss why is it so, the different areas of our life that need growth, and how lacking in just one of these areas can stall our potential for success. The relationship between these facets of our life is the core of today’s episode and is what I will be expounding on today. Some of the points I raised on this episode are:

  • How difficulties in our lives prevent us from experiencing God and practicing our spirituality, and how our initiatives to overcome difficulties and grow on a personal level positions us to grow spiritually too (1:18).
  • The fruit of the spirit that help with our spirituality and how allowing these same fruits to transcend the other facets of our lives will translate and manifest into our visions and goals (3:10).
  • A story I’ve encountered recently that illustrates how one’s spirituality influences the principles which with you live your life with and experiences you go through (3:45).
  • My experience fueled by a worship song that put into words peoples’ journey, how growth and faith plays a big role as we traverse the great unknown, and in return how the journey brings us even closer to God (4:48; 8:18).
  • How focusing on fears and limitations keep us from going out in the water which can easily be aided through a growth mindset that goes beyond these, surpassing who we are and what we’re capable of (7:57).
  • The reason why our gifts and talents shouldn’t be hidden and must be used and shared with others as shown in the Parable of Talents (9:11).
  • What we should do in the instance that we are called to use our gifts but lacked the knowledge and confidence (13:00).
  • The three areas of our life that we must constantly work on and keep updated (15:10).
  • A story of how my faith was tested when I delved on real estate investing with my family (17:18).
  • An apparent discrepancy I noticed attending events over the number of people interested in growing spiritually, personally and technically (19:37).
  • The importance of people’s growth on the three areas of life intertwining making them unstoppable (21:20)

Grow in multiple facets. Multiply your talents. Learn the technical know-how. Be driven by personal growth. Worship and grow in your faith. Combine and intertwine them – then you will be unstoppable. Go be unstoppable. Go walk on water.

Growth is a cycle of learning, mastery and transcending into a higher level of even more learning. My challenge to you as I end this episode is to create a lifestyle where you’re always embracing growth.

Relevant Links:
The Truth About Purpose | From Caterpillars to Butterflies 

Oceans by Hillsong United | Spotify

The Parable of Talents | Bible Gateway

I appreciate the time you take listening and the support you’ve given to the show. Subscribe to From Butterflies to Caterpillars on Patreon to get first dibs to episodes and other perks. You can also find the show on iTunes, Soundcloud, Stitcher, GooglePlay, and Podbean. Remember to leave the podcast a rating and review on the platform you’re listening to. This allows us to reach more people and move up the rankings.

I hope you learned a key takeaway or two today. If you have feedback or questions, I want to hear from you! Give me a shout out through the comments or by dropping me an email at charlene@fromcaterpillarstobutterflies.com. Let’s chat and see if we can work together on your personal and spiritual growth. If what you listened to today has been useful for you, feel free to share it with other too.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Always said that personal growth is intertwined with spiritual.

Work I do in personal growth serves a broader purpose and benefit in spiritual.

1:18 When someone is down they’re gonna have a hard time experiencing God and resting in his presence as there are things suppressing their spiritual awareness.

1:48 As you grow personally, you can position yourself to grow spiritually as well, and vice versa.

2:36 When you’re in a funk, insecure, or unworthy, then spirituality will be difficult. As you grow as a person, you also develop as a spiritual being.

3:10 The fruits of the spirit:  love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control

As you grow spiritual, these same fruits will manifest and translate in your life and goals.

3:45 Story online – book kept her marriage together by agreeing to an open marriage.

4:29 Spirituality influences the principles you live your life with and the experiences you go through.

4:48 Plane to San Diego, tarmac in Houston. Stirred up with a song by Hillsong United

5:41 I’ve been in a similar journey into the great unknown as the one being described in the song

6:09 A lot of times we’re reluctant, we not know enough, not skilled enough – this is the reason we need to grow into our purpose and our gifts. Through growth we’ll learn and be ready until the realization of our vision comes and happens.

7:57 We’re not going out to the water. Too focused on who or what we’re not, we don’t have and incapable of. Growth mindset goes beyond what we’re not and what we can’t, instead it transcends so we are and we’re capable.

8:18 “There I find You”. You find god in the midst of your calling and spiritual gifts. Helps you increase your faith.

9:11 your gifts aren’t for you, it shouldn’t be hidden – it is meant to be shared with others.

9:48 Parable of talents.

11:31 Burying our talents – we don’t wanna lose in the process, we think it is safer, too afraid to walk out into the great unknown. Living cautiously is criminal.

12:44 Not using your talents – thrown into darkness, despair, unhappiness.

13:00 Called to use our gifts but if we lacked knowledge, confidence, skill set, it is upon us to learn it. If you don’t use what you have you won’t be getting more.

14:39 How many times we have let go of something that would’ve been a gift because we are unwilling to hrow?

15:10 We know we’re supposed to grow and keep ourselves updated constantly.

16:35 As you grow personally it positions you to grow spiritually.

Personal, spiritual, technical growth together

17:18 Started investing in real estate, family joined me and we worked on a property together.

18:53 You may have the faith to get there, but will you have the faith to stay there? No, you need to grow.

19:37 Tony Robbins event. 9k people. Few black people. The same venue with a bishop, packed with black people.

21:20 Faith without works is dead. But if you’re too paralyzed or undisciplined to work, then you’re not gonna bring about what you’re having faith for.


FCTB025: How to Be Powerful

There’s been a lot of talk about power lately in my life. A few weeks ago, I was in an event with Courtney Sanders of Think and Grow Chick and a Facebook Live with Renee Lamb on Power Poses.

I decided that I should share with you, my followers, how to be powerful. As a prelude, I want to stress that I fully encourage purposefully and strategically creating our own opportunities and set ourselves to be successful. But these must be done within bounds – not resorting to manipulating or conniving with our relationships.  I also support emulating other people’s strategies towards success. But it must be applied through the foundation of authenticity to one’s self and treating lessons from coaches and mentors as reinforcement instead of a panacea to our challenges.

I have created a 7-point guide on the principles on what it takes to be powerful, together with some anecdotes that I discussed.

Know who you are. You’ll never be powerful living misaligned to who you truly are. Knowing who you are also entails that your thoughts and beliefs are congruent with your actions. Know what you stand for, believe in, and value; and what your purpose, gifts, and strengths are. Leading with your strengths and gifts allows you to operate in your power (1:13).

Have good character. Power with poor character is not sustained in the long term. We’ve seen big companies fail due to this. Always check your character at the door: be honest, never mislead people, following through on what you said you would, and look out for the best interest of the people. This way power is not bestowed through sheer authority but through respect (2:36).

Be authentic. You can’t be powerful if you’re adapting on some other personality. “Don’t be clever. Be authentic.” Cleverness evokes a sense of superficiality – which is not a powerful trait (3:59). Creating relationships without authenticity, operating on a scripted spiel and pitch wouldn’t win you followers or get you buyers – it will only create doubt and confusion. In opposite, you can gravitate towards a stranger who does not purposefully try to sell you something but is speaking authentically (5:08).

Suspend your own personal agenda. The most powerful people are the ones who are not pursuing a personal agenda but are instead helping and uplifting those around them. Powerful people don’t lead with personal agenda, and sometimes don’t even have one – choosing to reflect the agenda of the company/team they represent (9:20). And when they do, they don’t beat around the bush and just lay it on the table (15:27).

Control Yourself. Power is like energy – it cannot be created nor destroyed, but it can be transferred. Controlling people is an illusion, instead have the discipline to control yourself – your thoughts, emotions, words, and behavior. The thought that by controlling people, they are relinquishing their power to you is a misnomer – you can diminish other people’s power but it can never be taken away. Powerful people knows their power comes from themselves, not other people (16:05).

Be Present. You can’t be powerful if you’re not present. It’s hard to be powerful when you’re in your head thinking about what other people think about you. Sitting in self-pity, self-doubt, insecurity – will not make you powerful (18:45).

You own your results. Whatever circumstance you are in the present, own your results. Don’t blame it on time, money, the weather, or other people. Don’t give up too soon. Stay on something long enough to make it work (19:53).

Relevant Links:

Think & Grow Chick | Achievement tips for ambitious chicks

What 11 Highly Successful People Were Doing in Their 20s | Mic

Friday (1995 film) | IMDb

Power is perceived as this huge thing that outsiders see emanated by an individual, controlling others. The reality is it starts small, from within, and it entails a foundation based on truth, restraint, goodness, and accountability. These are what it takes to be powerful beyond belief.

I hope this episode allows you the true nature of power. If this is an area you are working on, I would like to hear your thoughts. Give me a shout-out on the comments section or email me at charlene@fromcaterpillarstobutterflies.com if there’s anything you want to share or would want to work with me.

Subscribe to From Butterflies to Caterpillars on Patreon to get first dibs to episodes and other perks. You can also find the show on iTunes, Soundcloud, Stitcher, GooglePlay, and Podbean. I’d appreciate it if you can leave the podcast a rating and review on whatever platform you’re listening to so we can reach and help more people.

Thank you for tuning in and supporting! Until next time!

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FCTB024: The Value of Practicing Gratitude & Tools to Support You

It has been said that “It’s not happy people who are thankful, it is thankful people who are happy”. I also found these definitions of gratitude and I wanted to share these with everyone.

Gratitude is our ability to see the grace of God, morning by morning, no matter what else greets us in the course of the day. – M. Craig Barnes

Gratitude a gracious acknowledgment of all that sustains us, a bow to our blessings, great and small. – Jack Kornfield

Gratitude is a thankful appreciation for what an individual receives.

Gratitude is one of those things that we forget about. Buried and suppressed underneath the routine, tasks, and challenges that come with daily life. Today I will be talking about why is it important to practice gratitude and how doing so can influence and affect us holistically.

To be able to discuss this lesson in mindfulness effectively, I shared:

  • A story of how the lack of gratitude, the presence of negative energy and focusing on burdens and complaints can manifest in different aspects of our life and opportunities (3:05).
  • How my dog Ivy is a great example of how the ebb and flow of feelings of burden and gratitude occur (5:45).
  • Scientific researches conducted illustrating how practicing gratitude affects individuals’ outlook, behavior, and most remarkably health – supporting longevity, diminishing stress, and decreasing risk of complications in the cardiovascular and nervous system (9:10).
  • What is the Losada Ratio a.k.a. Nagging Ratio, and how it is correlated with the success of a marriage or relationship (4:00).
  • How gratitude plays a role in achieving a healthier social life, enhancing energy levels and spirituality, creating better career opportunities, improving finances, and curbing materialism (15:19).
  • The things I am thankful for, my habits to be reminded of these (16:52), and other practices to remain thankful, express and nurture gratitude (21:24).

It is true that we don’t know what we’ve got until it’s gone. We all sometimes feel burdened by a lot of things that are actually blessings. It is a matter of changing our outlook and appreciating what we have to realize this. I hope this episode will help you remain mindful and practice gratitude – especially the meditation portion!

Relevant Links:
The Magic of Thinking Big by David Schwartz | Amazon
The Psychology of Gratitude by Dr. Michael McCullough and Dr. Robert Emmons
Counting Blessings Versus Burdens | by Dr. Michael McCullough and Dr. Robert Emmons
The Ideal Praise-to-Criticism Ratio
The Power of Positivity, In Moderation: The Losada Ratio

Is this an area you are struggling with and would like my help on? Or do you know someone who’ll benefit with this episode? Email me at charlene@fromcaterpillarstobutterflies.com or comment below so we can catch-up and see how we can work together.

Subscribe to the podcast via Patreon to get first dibs to episodes and other exclusive content. You can also find the show on iTunes, Soundcloud, Stitcher, GooglePlay, and Podbean. Remember to leave the podcast a rating and review on the platform you’re listening to so we can reach more people and move up the rankings.

Thank you for listening and supporting From Caterpillars to Butterflies. Until next time!


FCTB023: You Are Meant To Transform (How A Caterpillar Becomes A Butterfly)

Today’s episode embodies everything that I stand for – this podcast and blog, my commitment to continuous growth and transformation, my calling as a coach, and my own experiences as a person.

The caterpillar is a very good reminder that we are not supposed to stay the same and we are meant to grow in every aspect of our lives. If you’ve been following the podcast, you’d know that I have gone through a transformation which prompted me to take this path where I guide other women towards their growth and transformation towards the best version of themselves.

It is that process, or life cycle, that I would like to zero-in on in this episode, where I talked about:

  • How an unfulfilled job and unhappy life became the trigger that led me to real estate investing, wealth building and personal growth (1:40).
  • How real estate investing built me up then let me down, and how that ride gave me the biggest epiphany in life through a mug in a bookstore (3:25).
  • Memories from childhood and growing up that drove me to be cautious and not want to be seen (5:25).
  • How self-reflection, investing in self-growth and being real to myself changed me and led me to where I am today (8:17).
  • The butterflies’ literal and metaphorical life cycle starting from birth / being eggs (12:34).
  • Why caterpillars need to eat, grow and shed, and what these 3 key biological functions represent in the human experience (12:53).
  • The importance of finding a secure spot to grow during the cocoon stage, and how personal growth events and coaching provide this sense of security (17:01).
  • How the caterpillar knows and realizes that it’s time to go into the cocoon (18:09).
  • The process of metamorphosis where caterpillars go through a physical transformation to becoming butterflies, and how this change is manifested in people (20:40).
  • What are tell-tale signs signifying that a person is afraid of growth (24:12).
  • My modern parable of the dead caterpillars (25:16).

We are all caterpillars, and we might not know we’re meant to become butterflies – to be so much more than we are. We go through life not knowing what’s in store for us, but it is up to us to listen to our hearts and our instincts and be ready for growth when the signals are prompting you.

I want to hear from you. Which part of the butterfly life cycle are you in? What are you taking action on now? Send me an email at charlene@fromcaterpillarstobutterflies.com or share your feedback in the comments section.

You can find the show on iTunes, Soundcloud, Stitcher, GooglePlay, and Podbean. You can also subscribe to the podcast via Patreon and receive bonus content, first dibs to episodes, discounts, and perks. Remember to leave the podcast a rating and review on the platform you’re listening to. This allows us to reach more people and move up the rankings. If what you listened to today has been useful for you, feel free to share it with other too.

Thank you for taking the time to listen, and I appreciate all your support. Until next time!

 


FCTB022: How to Live A More Joyful, Peaceful, Purposeful Life

I am managing a Facebook group of women who want to grow their selves and their lives. In my desire to be of service and support them more, I decided to conduct a survey asking them what goals they are working on at the moment. I was under the guise that most will answer the typical, defined responses of career, debt, fitness, and romance that I readied a structure based on these. But the #1 answer by an overwhelming margin that turned up is the vaguer concept of living a more joyful, peaceful, purposeful life.

I’m not as ready to answer this challenge as I am with the other response options that I expected to turn up. Losing weight, leveraging finances – these are quantified by setting up parameters and tracking systems, but how to facilitate and help someone towards an intangible or unquantifiable goal, and how to measure success? While a joyful, peaceful and purposeful life will not necessarily resonate with everyone, what I will be sharing will help you to accomplish whatever type of life you want to create for yourself.

joyful /adj/ feeling, expressing, or causing great pleasure and happiness.
peaceful /adj/ free from disturbance; tranquil; drama-free; anxiety-free; worry-free
purposeful /adj/ having or showing determination or resolve; intentional; on purpose

Guided by the definitions provided above, I try to dissect and answer this today through a simple guide:

  • Envision what the idealized life means to you and what it looks like – you need to be so clear on what it is you want to allow you to personalize your methods depending on your idea of the life you want to create. This also serves the purpose such that when you arrive and get there, you identify it and know that you have already reached your goal (3:50).
  • Identify which areas of your life fits and does not fit the vision and definition of the life you want to create, then analyze on why they do or don’t, and if there are recurring themes or trends (6:36).
  • Recognize the gap and formulate a game plan to close the gap – this somehow allows us to quantify the ‘intangible goal’ via the gap. The game plan is comprised of strategies and routines like journaling, setting and enforcing boundaries, being intentional, making choices and decisions, and managing attitudes and perspectives (7:12).
  • Enjoy the journey. Be patient with life – life is nothing but a set of journeys towards the different goals we need to accomplish strewn across our lifetime (18:31).

I also shared anecdotes to support the methods I prescribed above.

  • Cross-state family trips I had when I was younger waiting for the ‘Welcome to Kentucky’ sign that says we’ve arrived (6:00).
  • Joyce Meyers sermon about monotony and the concept of blue skies and green grass, which makes us feel out of purpose, out of joy and out of peace (9:35).
  • The lesson of managing perspectives through the story of the three men building a church (13:50).
  • Dr. Phil’s wife, Robin McGraw, ensuring that Dr. Phil gets his physical exercise after traveling and work by scheduling it and leaving reminders to keep the intention (17:59).
  • Looking forward to a trip to Lisa Nichols’ Speak and Write to Make Millions keeps me excited (19:57).
  • A practice in our church’s mission trip to Haiti where we asked daily “Where did we see Jesus today?”. Acknowledge and find where whatever-adjective-that-you-use-to-describe-the-life-you-want was seen – this can serve as a daily reminder and a guide towards your goal. (20:33).

The most important takeaway here is the importance of visioning in defining what kind of life it is that we want – whether it is a joyous, peaceful, adventurous, spiritual, or purposeful life that you want to create. From there, identifying and analyzing your current state, recognizing and enforcing your strategies until you finally arrived at the destination of your journey.

I would like to hear your visions and what kind of life you want to create for yourself, email me at charlene@fromcaterpillarstobutterflies.com or chime in the comments below. If you found this episode insightful, share it on your social networks so others benefit from it too.

Relevant Links:
The Truth About Purpose | From Caterpillars to Butterflies
Creating Balance and Setting Boundaries | From Caterpillars to Butterflies
Speak and Write to Make Millions Workshop 2017
Expand Your Vision to Expand Your Life
Facebook Group for Ambitious Women who want More

You can find the show on iTunes, SoundcloudStitcher, GooglePlay, and Podbean. Show support and leave me a rating and review on whatever platform you’re listening to You can listen to the podcast via Patreon where supporters who pledge support to the show receive bonus content, first dibs to episode and freebies.

I appreciate you investing your time and listening today. Until next time!


FCTB021: How to Increase Your Confidence in Everyday Life

Today’s episode is about confidence. Building confidence affects different areas of our daily life. It could make all the difference in landing that coveted job, asking the girl or guy out, voicing your opinion, and pretty much anything we are too scared to do but can potentially change the course of our lives.

 “Fear comes in the thinking, confidence comes in the doing”

With this quote in mind, I have come up with tips to increase your confidence. Here are 7 fool-proof ways to build and boost your confidence and self-esteem.

#1 Look the part. We often underestimate the impact of our physical appearance on our confidence level. Pay attention to things that make you feel at your best and confident – be it with make-up, hairstyle, clothes. Invest time and/or money, and purposefully present yourself in a way that makes you confident (1:15).

#2 Set the part. Be confident in your environment – you might find that the physical surroundings and the atmosphere we’re exposed to – our workspace, home, car, including other visual and auditory cues, affect our moods – and in effect our confidence. If we’re confident with these external representations of our life, it will spill out with a healthy level of self-confidence (6:23).

#3 Act the part. Sometimes we wait for our feelings to rise up and our actions follow. But we can also let actions happen first and let our feelings catch up. Body language can play a part in boosting our confidence. Head held high, smiling, giving a firm handshake, talking in a modulated tone and volume – these are ways to project confidence and eventually feel authentically confident too (7:21).

#4 Control your thoughts. Self-defeating thoughts are just in our heads, and it is us thinking how other might be thinking about us. We need to call out these destructive and distracting thoughts and instead channel a specific thought, a go-to statement or internal pep talk whenever confidence is low. Doing so removes the self-doubt and replaces it with something more positive (10:48).

#5 Have a safe space. It can be through an organization, a coach, friends or family who can help us get more comfortable and build our confidence safely without criticism (14:38).

#6 Avoid comparisons. Step away from people that become a source of comparison, and yes, it can include social media where people tend to flaunt their good lives (15:46).

#7 Embrace confidence-building in the way it most serves you. We have different learning curves, and the same thing applies to gaining confidence – some may take a plunge, while some slowly ease their way into the pool – and that is okay. Set a goal to achieve that can be made possible through self-confidence and work your way to it in your own terms (16:41).

I also shared my personal experience when I dealing with my own self-confidence issues and how I applied the tips I provided in those scenarios (2:29; 7:51;11:23). I would like to put a disclaimer though that to gain confidence doesn’t mean you straight-up mimic someone who exudes confidence – as this can create further insecurity. The idea is to know who you are, find, learn and own your confidence. Sometimes we wonder why some people seem to be so confident, while we are bombarded by self-doubt. The truth is, even confident people have an inner dialogue of self-doubt, but they don’t let it stop them.

If you learned a thing or two today, and think others might benefit from this episode, please do share it with them. If you’ve got questions or feedback on this episode, or are interested in a coaching session with me, shoot me an email at charlene@fromcaterpillarstobutterflies.com and I’ll get back to you soonest.

You can listen to the podcast via Patreon where subscribers can pledge support to the show and receive exclusive content, discounts and other perks. You can also find the show on iTunes, Soundcloud, Stitcher, GooglePlay, and Podbean where you can show your support by leaving a rating or review. This allows us to reach and help more people, and improve the podcast rankings. Lastly, you can find and follow me on social media, via Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter.

Thanks for taking the time, and until next time!


FCTB020: The Power of Coaches, Mentors, and Guides + How to Coach Yourself

I am a big proponent of coaching and have always seen the positive benefits of having a professional coach, or even a mentor or guide whether it is with business, love, or life in general. I am a personal testament to this as I have seen from both sides of it – being a coach myself and having been under the care of mentors and guides too.

That is the reason I have decided to share this episode that defines coaching and identifies the different benefits of having a coach, mentor, or guide. I also provided methods to coach yourself to success should you feel like you’re not ready yet to invest in getting a coach and mentoring program yet.

Some of the things I shared on this episode are:

  • Definitions of coaching that I adhere to (2:56).

Coaching is about creating an action plan that moves you forward, from where you are to where you want to be. – James Himm Mitchell

Coaching is all about having someone believe in you and encourage you, about getting valuable feedback, about seeing things from new perspectives and setting your sights on new horizons.

Life Coaching is your opportunity to take your life from good to great.

  • The concept of accountability through coaching which results to significantly increasing the likelihood to accomplishing tasks or goals (3:33), and why it’s a better idea to have a professional coach instead of a family member or a friend as your accountability partner (5:47).
  • The advantage of being able to think out loud and have someone listen and brainstorm with you if you feel there are issues or problems that you’re not confident to deal with by yourself (7:10).
  • The significance of having a coach who can be objective when you’re not, and can serve as a powerful reminder of your path and goals in case the vision gets blurry (12:12).
  • The ability to stay on track (and if you get off track, back on track), prioritize tasks an14:45).
  • The insights and assistance coaches provide to break down problems, issues, and tasks into small actionable chunks, connecting the dots, and finding solutions (19:56).
  • The assurance of having someone to assist you to address your thoughts, insecurities, and lack of knowledge (23:02).

I have listed potential coaches in a blog post I wrote a couple of months back. If the podcast has been helpful to you and you would like to work with me as a coach, you can shoot me an email at charlene@fromcaterpillarstobutterflies.com and I’ll get back to you so we can discuss your goals, challenges and pain points, and see how we can work together.

Alternately, if you feel like you’d want to try if you can coach yourself to success, I also have devised techniques so you can kickstart your way to self-improvement. Some of the methods that I have mentioned in past blog posts and podcasts are identified below such as:

  • Maintaining a daily goals journal (24:55)
  • Keeping a Life Balance Wheel (25:50)
  • Write a personal IT (Inspiring and Transformational) statement or manifesto (26:16)
  • The RAMP method (Reflect, Avoid, Move, Persist) (26:33).
  • Digging deeper (as I’ve contributed in Classy Career Girl) (27:27).
  • Thinking that there’s always something you can be doing (as provided in this podcast episode) (28:23).

Related Links:

 The Ropes to Skip and the Ropes to Know by R. Richard Ritti | Amazon

Three Feet from Gold by Sharon L. Lechter CPA, Greg S. Reid, and Mark Victor Hansen | Amazon

Creating Balance and Setting Boundaries | From Caterpillars to Butterflies

How to Get Unstuck | From Caterpillars to Butterflies

How to Get Ish Done When You’re Feeling Unmotivated | From Caterpillars to

5 Ways to Finish Strong | From Caterpillars to Butterflies

Ways We Sabotage Ourselves | From Caterpillars to Butterflies

21 Black Women Coaches to Help You Transform Your Life, Business, Family and Spirituality | From Caterpillars to Butterflies

4 Ways to Coach Yourself to Success | From Caterpillars to Butterflies

How to Coach Yourself to Success | Classy Career Girl

I hope you like this episode – thanks for tuning in! Want to share your thoughts on the episode? Chime in on the feedback section or email me at charlene@fromcaterpillarstobutterflies.com – I’d love to hear it! If you think this episode can help your friends and family, please do share it with them too. You can find the show on iTunes, SoundcloudStitcher, GooglePlay, and Podbean. You can also find me on social media, on FacebookInstagram, and Twitter.

Lastly, From Caterpillars to Butterflies is now in Patreon! Show your support to the podcast pledging and becoming a Patron – this gives you first dibs on episodes and members-only perks for as low as $1 a month. Your monthly love offering goes to improving the podcast and exclusive content and materials to help you with your personal growth journey. You may also show your support by leaving the podcast a rating and review on the podcast you’re listening to, this allows us to get up in the rankings and reach more people.