FCTB017: Ways We Sabotage Ourselves
This time on the From Caterpillars to Butterflies podcast, I will talk about self-sabotage. Sometimes accomplishing our goals and dreams are difficult and we may attribute it to haters holding us back, ill intentions or bad luck. When in reality, we are our own biggest “hater” and it is we ourselves that’s keeping us from moving into the direction we want to.
Sometimes we are the only thing standing in the way preventing us from accomplishing our goals and dreams. I hope that this episode will serve a Eureka effect for you to realize that certain habits or behavior you exhibit are causing self-sabotage.
Now, this whole self-sabotage things has been happening for ages, that even the bible had “self-sabotage” documented in a sense.
For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do–this I keep on doing. – Romans 7:19
Below, I have enumerated ways, or specific habits and behaviors causing us to sabotage ourselves.
#1 Trying to bring in others. This attitude sounds positive initially, but it can actually be self-sabotage. Sometimes, in the spirit of sharing, or being family or friends, you bring in others with you. The reality is other people doesn’t care about your goals, business, vision, and future the way you personally do – they don’t even share the same dreams, habits, and values. When you invite people in, the load you’re pushing gets too heavy – some of the people may help you push, but there are those inflicted by crab mentality, freeloading, sitting on your bandwagon making it harder for you to climb that hill (2:37).
#2 Not following through. Sometimes you start something and decide it’s not for you, or not completely aligned with what you want – that’s ok – shifting gears is ok. But if you stop doing something just because you’re lazy, you’re choosing the easy way out, or simply don’t feel like it – that’s self-sabotage. Anything that’s important and worthwhile usually is a long-term commitment (9:51).
#3 Lack of confidence. You can be afraid to move forward, afraid to take a chance, or you’re leaning on other people. Maybe you’re pretending that you don’t want something – you want it, but you don’t believe in yourself so you’re downplaying it. Nothing holds you back more than your lack of trust and faith in your own abilities. I’ve noted some helpful quotations that can help you boost that self-esteem (13:19).
Nothing holds you back more than your own insecurities. – Susan Gale
Believe you can and you’re halfway there. – Theodore Roosevelt
Magic is believing in yourself, if you can do that, you can make anything happen. – Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
#4 By not growing. If you don’t have confidence because you don’t have the knowledge or skills to do something, learning the knowledge and/or skill set is the way to gain that confidence. Growing and learning don’t even have to be in one go, you can do it in small bites. You can always stretch yourself, learn and grow (15:25).
#5 Doing half of a job. We only do enough just to say we did it, and we don’t really wanna show up which is often caused by lack of patience or not having healthy expectations of what is possible for you. This is kind of a combination of a lack of confidence and being short-term-minded (16:19).
#6 Talking down to ourselves. We tell ourselves we’re not good enough, compare ourselves to other people, and look at the worst of who we are. We cannot expect negative talk to manifest into positivity. This could even be the reason why all the preceding ways we sabotage ourselves occur (20:03).
With the goal of eliminating our tendency to self-sabotage, people need to condition themselves to talk and think positive (especially about themselves). I also recommend finding a mentor. Choose someone who started from where you are and ended with you where you want to be in. This is a great source to help you reprogram what you think is possible and can be your proof of your potential and possibilities. Read more about belief busters here –> Belief Busters: How to Overcome Your Limiting Beliefs
I believe we can go wherever we want to go to in life once we’ve identified the ways we sabotage ourselves and work to stop the self sabotage. I hope this will help you realize where you might have been self-sabotaging and how to mitigate this tendency.
Make sure you listen to the very end for a special guided meditation to help you conquer indecisiveness!
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To supplement what you’ve learned in this episode, you may also check out these past episodes:
FCTB008: Expand Your Vision to Expand Your Life
FCTB007: Why You Need A Personal Growth Plan and How to Create One
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Thanks for tuning in and til next time.