How to Transform Your Life This Weekend
I’m a huge fan of personal growth events. I mean I’ve been to live events hosted by Tony Robbins, Jack Canfield, Lisa Nichols, Eric Thomas and more. There’s nothing quite like being immersed in an environment with the best teachers and hundreds, if not thousands, of other high achievers ready to take their life to the next level. Plus, I happen to like traveling. If I’m headed somewhere close, such as Dallas (I live in Houston) I make sure to pack audiobooks and CDs from my favorite personal growth teachers. If I’m flying somewhere I make sure I have some good podcast episodes to listen to on the flight. I’m learning before I’m learning.
And even though I’m an introvert, I love meeting and chatting it up with new people. At least for a little while before I head to the bar for a solo dinner or back up to my room. Essentially, I love every part of a good 2-3 day weekend dedicated to my own transformation and personal growth.
Yet, I realize everyone can’t just jet off for a weekend as much as they may like. They may have family obligations or money obligations. Some of these events carry a thousand dollar plus price tag and that’s before travel, lodging and food. Maybe even work obligations are an obstacle. A lot of events are over the weekend but you still end up traveling during the weekday to get the most out of the conference.
“To change ones life: Start immediately. Do it flamboyantly.” – William James
However, I honestly believe that money and time should not be limitations. Especially not when you are yearning to transform your life. Of course, by all means do what you can to get your butt in the room. But if you can’t, don’t fret. You can host your very own, private personal growth seminar this weekend. Yes, you can transform your life in 2 to 3 days even without the hefty price tag or travel.
I’m going to walk you through how to make this weekend a weekend where you can grow and transform. It may not be the same as if you’re live and in person with a teacher you respect, but it will help you shift your life in a new direction.
This isn’t something you fit into your day. You still need to clear your calendar. If you have kids you want to ask your spouse or parents to keep them. Or wait until they have summer camp. You don’t want to be multi tasking with your job. You want to dedicate 2 days to your personal transformation. You deserve it and your future life just might depend on it.
Transformation generally happens in one of a few key areas:
Personal Obstacles (What’s Holding You Back?)
Here are some sample workshops and recommendations. The beauty is that you can choose whichever areas you think will make the biggest difference for your life. There’s a lot here. You don’t want to try to incorporate everything into your transformation weekend. Focus on those areas you most want and need to see a breakthrough in.
Also, there are a lot of links and recommendations.
The idea is not that you would run off and start watching TED Talks now. The recommendations are for you to consider as a part of the individual workshops you choose to include in your weekend. You can always print this article so that you have everything you need when you’re ready. No need to try to capture now. Your Transform Your Life weekend should be planned with adequate time allocated. Again, don’t try to do this now!
“Change and renewal are themes in life, aren’t they? We keep growing throughout life.” – Susan Minot
Having attended a fair share of conferences and personal growth live events I know there’s generally a format. There’s a lesson and then there’s an activity to reinforce the lesson or to make progress toward a key action that you should be taking. You will find recommended readings and listenings. You don’t have a teacher standing in front of the room walking you through key concepts and tools. You have to learn virtually or through a book when you’re hosting your own self improvement weekend. That’s the point of me recommending so many books and videos. You will also find a recommended activity to further your learn on a particular subject.
I often say that a limited vision will lead to a limited life. If you don’t think big enough you won’t achieve big things. Too often our vision of what is possible for our life is dependent often our upbringing, our friends, and what we’re surrounded with everyday. You have to stretch and expand your vision of what is possible for your life. At a basic level you just need to know your life’s vision. That’s how, in part, you will develop your goals. You will take your vision of what you want your life to be and then create goals that align with that vision. If you’re playing small you will set and work toward small goals.
Recommended Activity: Create A Vision Board
Recommended Reading: Life Visioning: A Transformative Process for Activating Your Unique Gifts and Highest Potential (Chapter 10: The Art and Science of Visioning)
Main Takeaway: Know your biggest vision for what you’d like your life to be (even if it seems unrealistic). You want to walk away with a limitless vision that excites and inspires you.
Powerful Goal Setting
What are you working towards right now? What are you specifically doing to achieve your goals for the next quarter, the next year, the next five years, the next ten years and the next twenty years? If you are not doing anything this workshop needs to be on your list. If you’re not confident that what you are doing in attempt to achieve your goals is what you should be doing you need to dedicate some time to goal setting. If you don’t even know what you want you need to work on your vision. Studies have shown that while most people don’t set goals or write them down, those who do could earn up to 10x more as those who don’t.
Recommended Activity: Transform Your Year Self Study Course and Planner – This course is perfect for a weekend transformation workshop, because you essentially have a coach (me) and instructions to guide you through the process. In most of the other recommendations you have to be your own guide (although I have notated specific chapters and such to focus on to support you). The course helps you identify what you want out of life, what you need to do to get there, and how to break those goals down into bit size pieces. It also has checkpoints throughout the year to help you stay on track. Grab the Self Study Course here and use coupon code: Save50 to save 50%.
Ted Talks on Goal Setting (each under 15 minutes):
Recommended Reading: The Success Principles(TM) – 10th Anniversary Edition: How to Get from Where You Are to Where You Want to Be (Chapter 7: Unleash the Power of Goal-Setting)
Main Takeaway: Damon John, founder of FUBU and a shark on Shark Tank, said that he sleeps with his goals. It’s that important. At the end of this session you should have crystal clear goals and a plan to achieve them. Anyone should be able to ask you what you’re working towards and you have an immediate answer. It’s like an elevator speech. You should always know your goals and be able to communicate them.
Purpose & Passion
There’s probably nothing I hear more in my coaching practice than, “I don’t know what my purpose is.” People are so hungry for their life’s purpose and passion which is a beautiful thing to see. Yet I realize all too well that is not beautiful when you’re the one unclear about your purpose. If you have ever found yourself wondering what your purpose really is put this on your transformation workshop list.
Recommended Reading: The Purpose Driven Life: What on Earth Am I Here For?
Purpose Inspirational Video: Finding Your Meaning of Life – Inspirational Video
Main Takeaway: Know without a shadow of a doubt what your purpose (especially in this season) and passion in life is. Feel confident in that purpose and stop doubting and questioning yourself. As long as you’re unsure you will hem and haw and make up a thousand excuses not to pursue your purpose.
What’s Holding You Back?
If you’re unable to break through the obstacle preventing you from achieving what you want to achieve something is holding you back. Your job is to identify those things and remove them as obstacles. This could be limiting beliefs, assumptions, fears, habits, lack of knowledge or know-how and confidence and self worth issues. It could also be that you don’t know what you want in the first place! (Go back to vision if this is the case.) If you cannot name what’s standing in your way you will have a hard time moving it out of your way.
Recommended Reading: Belief Busters: How to Overcome Limiting Beliefs
Recommended Activity: Belief Busters as referenced in article above
Recommended Listening: Why you should define your fears instead of your goals | Tim Ferriss
Main Takeaway: As a result of this personal session you should be able to identify what’s holding you back. Be explicit, direct, and clear about your obstacles. Don’t be vague. Honesty and vulnerability is key here. You should begin the process of overcoming your specific hangups during the session. You should have some a-ha moments. However, you are also planting seeds you will need to continue to water and fertilize in the weeks and months that follow for maximize impact.
Self Worth & Self Love
If you don’t believe that you deserve something there’s a strong chance you will not pursue it. And if you happen to take hold of something you don’t think you are worthy of there’s a good chance you will lose it. Your self worth determines the life you live. It determines how much money you earn, the types of relationships you have, and even how you take care of yourself. If you want to transform your life transforming how you view and love yourself if so critical.
“Words are powerful; if you change your words, you can change your life.” – Joyce Meyer
Building Your Field of Dreams (Chapter 3: DESERVING: Building a Deeper Belief in You)
Recommended Activity: Mirror Work – I like to do mirror work with a full length bedroom mirror such as this one. It’s the kind that sits on the floor. I sit on the floor in front of my mirror. It’s just more comfortable. I can get closer to the mirror as opposed to using the bathroom mirror over the sink. My hands are free unlike if I had a hand mirror. Just my preference.
Main Takeaway: A baseline of your current self love and self worth levels. You should identify particular events or feedback you were given that may have diminished your feelings of self worth. (example: “No one’s ever going to love you.”) You should takeaway new, empowering stories about those events or statements. (My mother’s offensive comments were never really about me. They were a generational pattern that I choose to end.) You should also leave with a daily practice to enhance your self worth and self love.
Building Self Confidence
Confidence, like Self Worth/Self Love, will hold you back because it will stop you dead in your tracks. Most people can’t feel insecure and move toward their dreams at that same time. When someone has a lack of confidence they make up any and ever excuse to not do the thing that makes feel uncomfortable or feel a lack of confidence. Other times you move forward despite a lack of confidence but it shows. You don’t come off as strong or as powerful because it’s obvious you are not confident. Building your confidence and the appearance of confidence (while waiting on the real confidence to grow) will help you make progress toward you goals.
Recommended Reading: I Can Make You Confident: The Power to Go for Anything You Want!
Recommended Activity: Go through your closet and find the pieces that make you feel the most confident. What do they have in common? Can you purchase other confidence building clothing pieces? Now identify the pieces that make you feel the most insecure. What do they have in common? Ditch the insecure breeding clothes (even if you know you’re going to lose weight or it cost a lot of money or insert other excuse here).
Main Takeaway: A rating of your current level of self confidence. You should know your triggers – those people, scenerios, etc. that make you lack confidence in yourself or feel insecure. You should understand your own personal self talk (things you say to yourself) and how/when it contributes to your confidence levels. You should also begin to understand how you confidence levels effect your life, actions, and decisions. (Such as you don’t share an option when around high profile people). As a result of this workshop you should identify ways to circumvent (do what needs to be done despite not feeling confident, i.e. share the opinion) and/or ways to overcome low confidence levels (increase your level of confidence through enhancing knowledge, changing appearance, changing self talk, etc.) You should also know what makes you feel confident and be able to draw from those things when you need.
Balancing Your Life
Some people say it’s balancing. Some call it creating harmony. It doesn’t matter. It’s just semantics. The idea here is that no area of your life flourishes at the expense of another area that is also meaningful to you. If you have a problem balancing or harmonizing your career with your marriage or parenthood with physical well-being this is the workshop for you.
From Caterpillar to Butterfly: Transform the Life You Have into the Life You Love (Chapter 7: Balance and Boundaries)
Recommended Activity: Balance Wheel
Recommended Listening: Lisa Nichols – Balance Is A Myth – Harmony Is A Must
Main Takeaway: Know what areas of your life have significant, uncompromising meaning to you. Assess where you currently are in those areas and where you’d like to be. Are you neglecting something and therefore at risk of losing progress because you aren’t focused enough on it? You should leave with techniques and strategies to close the gap that work for you specifically.
Wealth & Money
Wealth and money is a big issue for a lot people. It’s a stressor. It is a major cause of divorce and other relationship breakdowns. It’s an important area to pay attention to especially if you are not where you want to be. Under this umbrella falls a lot of things: budgeting, debt reduction, investing, retirement, side hustles, and more. The beauty of you designing your own personal growth and transformation weekend is that you get to choose if you want to tackle your wealth and money issues and specifically what issues you want to tackle. I have a few suggestions below.
Recommended: Transform Your Wealth: Real Estate Investing 101
Recommended Reading: The Total Money Makeover: Classic Edition: A Proven Plan for Financial Fitness
Recommended Activity: Create a budget. List all your income and all your fixed expenses. Then allocate what’s leftover to specific categories and STICK TO IT.
Recommended Reading: Dave Ramsey’s book (The Total Money Makeover mentioned above) is good for this topic as well.
Recommended Activity: Call all your lenders and negotiate pay down amounts and/or interest rates.
Main Takeaway: Tackle your money issues, whatever they are. You should walk away with a achievable budget, savings plan, etc. that you can implement right a way.
Health & Fitness
Similar to Wealth & Money, Health & Fitness encompasses a lot of different things. Whether you struggle with your weight or anxiety anything that limits your potential, stalls your confidence, and just in general makes you uncomfortable in your own skin should be changed. Here are some key areas you might choose to focus on as you design your own personal growth and transformation weekend.
Food & Diet
10-Day Green Smoothie Cleanse – I have personally completed this cleanse. It works wonders particularly when you need to detox and reset yourself from the inside out.
The Whole30: The 30-Day Guide to Total Health and Food Freedom – I LOVE the Whole30 program because it forced me to find wholesome, delicious meals to cook. Often times it’s not that we don’t want to eat right. We just are hooked to the convenient fast food lifestyle (I was), we eat for pleasure as opposed to nourishment, and we have a limiting belief that eating healthy means eating boring, nasty foods. Whole30 showed me a whole other way. I found so many recipes I loved. This one is highly recommended.
Recommended Resources: BookFactory Food Journal
Recommended Reading: Fitness Confidential
Recommended Activity: Jillian Michaels – 30 Day Shred (I love this! It’s 3 circuits each with 3 minutes of strength training, 2 minutes of cardio and 1 minute of abs. Super easy and quick.)
Essential Oils: There are hundreds if not thousands of essential oils that pack a punch depending on what you need. Anything from anxiety to sleeplessness to physical ailments and even digestion issues could potentially be improved with the right essential oil. If you’re curious about how you can leverage these powerful oils dedicate some time learning about them during your personal transformation weekend.
Recommended Activity: Grab a few essential oils and test them out! I personally keep tea tree oil and peppermint oil in my house.
Main Takeaway: This session should prompt you to figure out what you need to do to be in optimal health with strong energy levels. This refers to not only physical health and wellbeing, but mental, emotional, and spiritual as well. It’s very hard to accomplish what you want and to reach your fullest potential if you’re drained (again physically, emotionally, mentally, or spiritually). You should walk away from this workshop with an understanding of your personal health and well-being needs. You should begin to understand what you resonate with and what your body responds to. You should also develop a plan during this workshop (and stick with it afterwards).
Journaling prompts can be a part of any workshop mentioned above. Or a standalone. The way it works is you want to let your thoughts flow freely for an uninterrupted, predetermined amount of time. It could be 15-20 minutes. Here are a few suggestions
“What I really, really want is…..” (Finish this sentence).
Journal about your future as if it has already happened.
“The first time I felt unworthy was when….”
“The first time I felt unlovable was when….”
What’s your biggest fear?
What’s your earliest memory? Why do you think you’ve never forgotten that?
What do you most want for your children?
What does your dream day consist of?
What’s the most fun you’ve had lately?
What have you learned about yourself recently?
Pre-Weekend Prep Work
Decide where you will be transforming your life. You don’t need a ton of space. You may have an office or simply a kitchen table. Wherever you will be prep the area in advance. Make sure it is clean, decluttered, and has the supplies you will need ready to go.
Make sure you have a journal with plenty of space and your favorite planner.
Also, get your pens ready! I hate when I need a pen and I can’t find it. And then I find one but the ink is running out. Have multiple pens available. I personally love these pens. Super basic, but I went all around Houston trying to find them and couldn’t!
Arrange to have uninterrupted time during the hours specified.
Have your meals and snacks prepped. Whether you are ordering in or cooking at home make sure you already have a plan. The last thing you want to do is be distracted or derailed at lunch time because you were not prepared. If you are ordering takeout go ahead and decide in advance where you’ll be eating. Look over the menu. Get excited especially if this is an opportunity to treat yourself. One of my favorite parts of traveling to events is eating. Some events even have a gourmet lunch catered for you (usually for an upcharge). If you’re cooking at home make sure you have what you need.
Schedule any plans and get-togethers for the bonus evening event.
Create your playlist. Nearly every event I’ve attended had at least one moment of lively music and dancing. Some teachers have volunteers on stage jamming it up with the audience following along. Other teachers invite students on the stage to bust a 1-2. You can’t have a personal transformation weekend without music. Every time you come back from a break or mealtime pump off the volume and have a dance break before you get back into the groove of things. Even if you feel stupid – do it anyway. Tony Robbins says movement is key when changing your life. You’ll also want to be jamming while creating your vision board to get you in the right state of mind.
(8am – 5pm)
Wake up in time to be fully present and ready to go at 8! I don’t know how much time you need in the morning so I won’t give you a wake up time. But you should be showered and dressed for the day. You don’t have to put on your Sunday’s best, but you don’t want to simply roll out of bed and start trying to transform your life either. I find that getting out of my pjs and actually making myself presentable is moreso for me than anyone else.
(8 – 9 am)
Light Exercise & Breakfast
Inspirational Video: MORNING MOTIVATION – Start Your Day Positively!
(9:15 – 9:30)
Intention Setting and Meditation
Reflect and meditate on what you want to get out of the weekend.
(9:30 – 10:30)
Video: TRUST YOUR VISIONS
Reading: Life Visioning: A Transformative Process for Activating Your Unique Gifts and Highest Potential (Chapter 10: The Art and Science of Visioning)
Journaling Exercise: My vision for life is….
(10:30 – 10:45)
Break – Don’t forget to get jiggy with it before you sit back down!
(10:45 – 11:45)
Assess Your Current Situation
Identify the gap between your current reality and your vision for life.
Inspirational Video: WHO DO YOU WANT TO BE?
(11:45 – 1:15)
Lunch – There should be a two-step in here somewhere!
(1:15 – 2:15 pm)
What’s Holding You Back Workshop
Identify your limiting beliefs.
Find 4 people who prove your limiting beliefs are false.
Identify your fears.
Note the worse that can happen and what you will do to circumvent.
(2:15 – 2:45 pm)
Letting Go Activity – Take the fears, limiting beliefs, etc. that are holding you back and write them down. This can be on a piece of paper, on a balloon, or any other place. You may choose to burn the paper, bury it or stuff it in a balloon before blowing it up. Allow yourself to physically, mentally, and spiritually release those things holding you back. Thank them for the role they have played in your life. Thank them for the protection they have at times provided. Thank them for their role in preparing you for where you are going next in life. And then release it. (Please be mindful of any safety issues or laws in your state that prohibit burning things or releasing balloons in the air. This is just a suggestion and I take no responsibility for your actions).
Recommended: Letting Go Guided Meditation
(2:45 – 3:00 pm)
(3:00 – 5:00 pm)
Vision Board Activity – Work in sections (20 minutes each). Don’t forget to pull out your playlist. If possible match the songs to the section. For example, play love songs when finding and pasting love images to your vision board.
Love & Romance
Wealth & Career
Health & Fitness
Fun & Lifestyle
Bonus (5:00 – until)
Rest before dinner with spouse or friend
(8 – 9 am)
Light Exercise & Breakfast
Inspirational Video: Tragedy into Triumph – Inky Johnson Inspirational & Motivational Video
(9:15 – 9:45)
Review and Reflection
What are you thoughts about the work you did the previous day? How do you feel about the vision for life that you created? Did anything else come up for you in terms of what you want from your life or what may be holding you back? (Journal exercise)
Self Love & Self Worth
Mirror Work Activity – Sit in front of a mirror. Look yourself deeply into the eyes. Repeat, “I love you, (Your Name)”. “I really love you, (Your Name)”. “And I’m willing to learn to love you even more”. If you can’t say “I love you” you can simply say “I like you” and “I’m willing to learn to love you”. If you cannot say “I like you” you can say, “I’m willing to learn to like you.” You can also say any variations that you feel comfortable with. Perhaps, “I appreciate you.”
(11:30 am – 1:00 pm)
(1:00 pm – 2:00 pm)
(2:00 – 2:45)
Daily Routine and Habits
(2:45 – 3:00)
(3:00-5:00) Shake a tail feather before resuming!
Goal Setting & Action Plan
(5:00 – 6:00)
Write a love letter to yourself. (Want me to mail it to you at a later unknown date? Email it to me!)
Treat Yourself to something nice and/or fun. Order flowers or chocolate and have them delivered. Go to a nice meal or spa. Whatever you desire! You did it. You deserve it.
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