The Other Reason You Don’t Know Who You Are
I’ve talked a bit about how we lose sense of who we are. There was a time I didn’t know who I was. In my previous posts I’ve explained how we suppress our true selves over time, bit by bit. We do this because someone called us out. Made us feel different. Inadequate. Unworthy. Weird. So we suppressed those qualities about ourselves in an attempt to fit an imaginary mold we think we have to fit in order to be accepted and loved. Until one day we look up and realize that our life is a mess. We’re unhappy and unfulfilled even though we filled the mold as best we could.
One day we realize there is no mold. So we have to start the journey back to who we really are. If we’re lucky that is.
We realize we lost the knowledge of who we really are because we suppressed it. That’s one reason you may not know who you are.
The other reason you may not know who you are is because someone in your life doesn’t want you to know who you are.
I had a bully boyfriend. It took my years after that relationship ended to realize he was a bully. He would bully me often. He would say things to me to make me feel inadequate.
“You act like you’re in love with that dog,” he’d tell me. Yes I love my dog. I bought her for a reason. Why was he trying to make me feel a certain way about playing with her and spending time with her?
This man was jealous of the dog! He was jealous of the affection I had for her so something had to be wrong with me.
Sometimes people don’t want you to know who you are because it means that they have to address the truth of who they are.
Sometimes people don’t want you to know who you are because it means they have to change. They have to be better. They have to treat you better. They have to step up their game.
Sometimes people don’t want you to know who you are because it means they will have to leave. Some people will not be able to stay in your life once you accept who you are and what you deserve.
When I didn’t know who I was I put up with a lot of crap. I questioned my decisions. I questioned my relationship with my dog. In the back of my head I knew there wasn’t anything wrong with me. But the doubt crept in. As long as I was in doubt I was his. I was where he wanted me to be.
There might be someone in your life, a lover, a parent, or maybe a boss who doesn’t want you to know who you are. They want to continue to manipulate you. They want to continue to take advantage of you. Someone in your life wants to continue to use you. They want to use you for your benefits, your money, your connections. They want to use you for your kindness.
Someone in your life does not want you to come to realization that this isn’t who you are. This lifestyle isn’t who you are. This relationship isn’t who you are. It’s not what you value. It’s not what you believe in. It’s not what you deserve.
They don’t ever want you to know the truth of who you are because they will have to change or leave. Believe me when I say they don’t want to do either. Someone wants things to stay just the way they are because it’s easier on them. It’s more advantageous. They get the fruit without ever having to plant a single seed.
Someone doesn’t want you to know who you are because they can control you. They get to have their way with you. You cannot control the woman who knows who she is. You cannot control the person that knows what deserve. You cannot control a woman who stands in her power. It’s impossible to do.
Is there someone in your life who doesn’t want you to know who you are? They manipulate you. They insult you. They give you a hard time about your beliefs, goals, or desires. Maybe they try to keep you away from certain people. People who would remind you of who you are.
When someone is telling you things about yourself that don’t feel right pay attention to that. Hold fast to your truth. I’ve had people lie to me about me. Like, um, I was there! I go with me everywhere. What are you talking about?
Yet, it happens. People fall for it. Or they get tired of defending themselves so they relent. If you’re not careful you’ll start to think you’re crazy.
Pay attention to someone trying to manipulate you and how you feel. Take note of someone putting you down, insulting you because of your interests and your choices (like being interested in playing with your dog).
Don’t allow someone else’s self serving agenda keep you lost and unsure of who you are.
If you’ve lost sense of yourself, if you’ve been manipulated, bullied or coerced to suppress the real you it’s time to rediscover you. It is time to get back to the real you so that you can enjoy the life that you deserve. Start the journey back to you by applying for a complimentary Rediscover You clarity call at www.transformwithcharlene.com today!