A few weeks ago I attended Speak and Write To Make Millions hosted by Lisa Nichols and Susie Carder. I know several people who have attended in the past. I actually participated via live stream a few years ago. I was traveling that weekend so I didn’t participate live. I watched the replay. Anyway, everyone kept telling me how insane it was. “The days are long. Everyone cries. The event is amazing. You have to go in person.”
While I didn’t cry, the days are long (the introvert in me dipped out early the first night) and the event is awesome. I learned a lot. I made a lot of great connections and relationships. And it was in San Diego. What more can I say? Here are some of my breakthroughs out loud (BOLs) as Lisa would call them:
Be committed to your vision
When you’re not committed you wonder, “What if?” What if it doesn’t work? What if I don’t have what it takes? What if it’s not my purpose or what God wants me to do? Women say to me all the time, “I don’t know what my purpose is.” I’ve always believed that they know their purpose. It’s not hiding from them. Now I realize it’s likely that they’re just not committed to their purpose.
When you become non-negotiable about your vision you’re not worried out that thing. That thing is worried about you. Non-negotiable means moving everything else off the table.
Be enough for yourself
You don’t have to be everything to everyone. Just be enough for yourself. We think we have to be superman or superwoman to everyone in our lives. That’s simply not true. We just have to be enough for ourselves. We just have to like ourselves. The whole world doesn’t have to like us and they won’t. Sometimes we’re trying to be everything to everyone except ourselves. Sometimes there’s pressure to be someone else’s rescue or to accomplish their goals for them.
My sister went to Kentucky a few years ago to visit. She gave our dad a $100. I went to Kentucky a few weeks after she did. I gave our dad $0. Now if he would have asked or said that he needed financial support I would without hesitation give whatever I had to give. He didn’t and I didn’t. My dad made a comment to my sister, “Charlene never does stuff like this.” As in give money.
In the back of my head I felt bothered by the statement. (1) because I give a lot to my family. I’ve paid for vacations, medical bills, and a house. Now here I am feeling the expectation to be enough and to give enough for my dad, but resisting the urge the comply. Why? Because in the front of my head is MY VISION. I don’t not give because I’m selfish or greedy. I don’t give because I’m focused and hungry for MY FUTURE. I don’t splurge for myself. My sister does. She has fancier stuff in her house than I in mine. There’s no right or wrong but that’s why she gives more. She spends more than me in general.
I tell that story because if I would have caved so that I could become enough for my father I wouldn’t be enough for me. If anybody I love needs me I got them. I’ll give whatever I have at the drop of a dime. But I will not make it rain on them just for the fun of it. I will not forgo my vision for their TEMPORARY pleasure. And my decisions on how to invest my finances and live my life is ENOUGH FOR ME. I pray and trust that my family understands that.
Trust your vision
You can’t see your entire journey right now because if you did it might frighten you. Lisa says, “Some of you are trying to understand the how to see if you want the what. Choose the want and you’ll find the how.” You have to trust the vision you see when you look into your future. You might not know the how now and that not knowing may be for your benefit. Stay focused on the what. Don’t worry about the how. And don’t let the how make you give up on the what.
Clarity comes with commitment
“You keep saying you want clarity. The universe is saying I need commitment. I’ll give you the clarity.” Clarity comes from commitment. It comes from taking action. When you move more of the vision becomes clear to you. You don’t need to see what’s in the next town if you’re not willing to leave your street. Get committed first and then you will see.
There’s no hookup…
There’s just the culmination of decisions. I’ve said before, borrowing from the words of Robert Frost, “Way leads onto way. Goals lead onto goals. Progress leads on to progress.” There’s no hookup. You have to make decisions – usually small ones – over and over again. In fact, Lisa says, “micro decisions lead to your biggest moments.”
Check your proximity
Although she said there’s no magic in being next to her, Lisa also tells a story of her friend Ann. Ann and her husband are wealthy. At the time Lisa was still building her prosperity. Lisa would go to Ann’s house and just touch the furniture and the structure. She was believing it for herself. There’s power in proximity. I think about it for my own life in what I’m building. I’ve been around millionaires and million dollar business owners. There’s something special about that.
“I loved myself enough to ask her to be my friend.” – Lisa Nichols in reference to Ann
It’s important to surround yourself with like minded people. People to encourage you, inspire you, and lift you. You don’t need dream doubters and naysayers. You don’t need people with small vision. You need people who are going where you want to go or who are already there.
Lisa also says that you need a combination of leavers (as in people you leave) and chasers (as in people you chase) in your life. If you only have chasers you’ll always feel like your being left behind. If you just have leavers you’ll always be the best person in the room.
Check your proximity and adjust as needed.
Interrupt your patterns
“You have to pattern interrupt your habits so you can pattern interrupt your life.” You are your habitual actions and decisions. You are your routine. When you want to change your life you have to change the things you do everyday. Interrupt your daily habits so that you can interrupt your life.
Always know what you need next
It’s critical in life to identify what you need next. If you’re not constantly identifying what you need next you’re just going to be settling. If you’re not clear on what you need next you need clarity next. Sign up for a free clarity call with Charlene at www.transformwithcharlene.com.
Sometimes you have to say goodbye to one season of your life to give birth to the next season of your life. And sometimes you need someone to help you walk to the next level of your life.
Sometimes when we think we’re stuck we just holding onto something that we should be letting go. Fear of the unknown, comforts, and confusion prevent us from moving on. Learn to say goodbye to old seasons of your life. Don’t just go into the next season of your life. Go in non-negotiable.
“The smartest thing I did 22 years ago was get a personal life coach.” – Lisa Nichols
The bigger you play the bigger the breakdown. If you’re not having breakdowns you’re not playing big enough. Expect breakdowns when you play big, but know that suffering is optional. You do not have to suffer. If you’ve chosen to suffer – maybe you’re choosing to suffer right now – know that it is optional. Grow, don’t crumble in face of your breakdowns.
You don’t have to know everything you just have to know where to get it. Don’t try to eat the elephant. Take a bite. Remember those micro decisions (and actions). Focus on what you need to do next. Where do you need to focus your attention next? What project do you need to work on next?
Take radical action
Action alone is not enough. You need to take radical action to accomplish your goals. Schedule your tasks. If it’s not in the schedule it’s not getting done.
Control your thoughts
Remove any conversation in your head that might interrupt your growth. Show yourself unconditional love. Give yourself grace. Quiet the voices inside your head – the judgments, the evaluations, the commentary so you can grow.
Don’t grow alone
Say it out loud, “I will not grow alone.” You need a support system to help you grow. That’s why it’s so important to surround yourself with like minded people. That’s why it’s so important to invest in coaching. That’s why I attend so many personal development events and have worked with so many coaches. It’s hard to grow alone. And it’s not as fun.
“A coach will tell you what you don’t want to hear so that you can be who you know you were meant to be.” – Susie Carder
Learn more about Lisa Nichols, Motivating the Masses, and her events, products, and coaching at www.motivatingthemasses.com. Learn more about Speak and Write to Make Millions at www.speakandwriteworkshop.com. Learn more about Susie Carder at www.susiecarder.com.
Successful people have coaches. I worked with tons of coaches – Fitness, Business, Sales, Life, Book Writing coaches. Every time I want to go after something in my life that is currently out of reach I reach for a coach. It’s an important part of personal growth and development.
It used to be said that it takes a village to raise a child. We used to have daily access to the wisdom of our elders. We lived in smaller communities and stayed close to our village, our tribe. But now, with advancements in standards of living, careers, gender equality our village is more spread out then ever. Yet, we still need the support, the wisdom, and the guidance of someone experienced and/or trained to coach us along. The need and the value hasn’t gone away just because the way we live has evolved. You still need a helping hand. You still shouldn’t grow alone. And you don’t have to.
If there’s something that you want for your life that is currently out of reach and you’re ready to grab a hold of it I’d like to invite you to apply for a complimentary, no obligation clarity call with me. You can apply at www.transformwithcharlene.com. If you have big goals for your life, if you’re ambitious, and non-negotiable about your future it shouldn’t be a matter of IF you’re going to partner with a coach. It’s a matter of WHO. Who will you partner with on your life goals? I’m inviting you to consider me. Apply at the link above. I look forward to meeting you! ~ Charlene