Breakthroughs Out Loud From Lisa Nichols & Team

A few weeks ago I attended Speak and Write  To Make Millions hosted by Lisa Nichols and Susie Carder. I know several people who have attended in the past. I actually participated via live stream a few years ago. I was traveling that weekend so I didn’t participate live. I watched the replay. Anyway, everyone kept telling me how insane it was. “The days are long. Everyone cries. The event is amazing. You have to go in person.”

While I didn’t cry, the days are long (the introvert in me dipped out early the first night) and the event is awesome. I learned a lot. I made a lot of great connections and relationships. And it was in San Diego. What more can I say? Here are some of my breakthroughs out loud (BOLs) as Lisa would call them:

Be committed to your vision

When you’re not committed you wonder, “What if?” What if it doesn’t work? What if I don’t have what it takes? What if it’s not my purpose or what God wants me to do? Women say to me all the time, “I don’t know what my purpose is.” I’ve always believed that they know their purpose. It’s not hiding from them. Now I realize it’s likely that they’re just not committed to their purpose.

When you become non-negotiable about your vision you’re not worried out that thing. That thing is worried about you. Non-negotiable means moving everything else off the table.

Be enough for yourself

You don’t have to be everything to everyone. Just be enough for yourself. We think we have to be superman or superwoman to everyone in our lives. That’s simply not true. We just have to be enough for ourselves. We just have to like ourselves. The whole world doesn’t have to like us and they won’t. Sometimes we’re trying to be everything to everyone except ourselves. Sometimes there’s pressure to be someone else’s rescue or to accomplish their goals for them.

My sister went to Kentucky a few years ago to visit. She gave our dad a $100. I went to Kentucky a few weeks after she did. I gave our dad $0. Now if he would have asked or said that he needed financial support I would without hesitation give whatever I had to give. He didn’t and I didn’t. My dad made a comment to my sister, “Charlene never does stuff like this.” As in give money.

In the back of my head I felt bothered by the statement. (1) because I give a lot to my family. I’ve paid for vacations, medical bills, and a house. Now here I am feeling the expectation to be enough and to give enough for my dad, but resisting the urge the comply. Why? Because in the front of my head is MY VISION. I don’t not give because I’m selfish or greedy. I don’t give because I’m focused and hungry for MY FUTURE. I don’t splurge for myself. My sister does. She has fancier stuff in her house than I in mine. There’s no right or wrong but that’s why she gives more. She spends more than me in general.

I tell that story because if I would have caved so that I could become enough for my father I wouldn’t be enough for me. If anybody I love needs me I got them. I’ll give whatever I have at the drop of a dime. But I will not make it rain on them just for the fun of it. I will not forgo my vision for their TEMPORARY pleasure. And my decisions on how to invest my finances and live my life is ENOUGH FOR ME. I pray and trust that my family understands that.

Trust your vision

You can’t see your entire journey right now because if you did it might frighten you. Lisa says, “Some of you are trying to understand the how to see if you want the what. Choose the want and you’ll find the how.” You have to trust the vision you see when you look into your future. You might not know the how now and that not knowing may be for your benefit. Stay focused on the what. Don’t worry about the how. And don’t let the how make you give up on the what.

Clarity comes with commitment

“You keep saying you want clarity. The universe is saying I need commitment. I’ll give you the clarity.” Clarity comes from commitment. It comes from taking action. When you move more of the vision becomes clear to you. You don’t need to see what’s in the next town if you’re not willing to leave your street. Get committed first and then you will see.

There’s no hookup…

There’s just the culmination of decisions. I’ve said before, borrowing from the words of Robert Frost, “Way leads onto way. Goals lead onto goals. Progress leads on to progress.” There’s no hookup. You have to make decisions – usually small ones – over and over again. In fact, Lisa says, “micro decisions lead to your biggest moments.”

Check your proximity

Although she said there’s no magic in being next to her, Lisa also tells a story of her friend Ann. Ann and her husband are wealthy. At the time Lisa was still building her prosperity. Lisa would go to Ann’s house and just touch the furniture and the structure. She was believing it for herself. There’s power in proximity. I think about it for my own life in what I’m building. I’ve been around millionaires and million dollar business owners. There’s something special about that.

“I loved myself enough to ask her to be my friend.” – Lisa Nichols in reference to Ann

It’s important to surround yourself with like minded people. People to encourage you, inspire you, and lift you. You don’t need dream doubters and naysayers. You don’t need people with small vision. You need people who are going where you want to go or who are already there.

Lisa also says that you need a combination of leavers (as in people you leave) and chasers (as in people you chase) in your life. If you only have chasers you’ll always feel like your being left behind. If you just have leavers you’ll always be the best person in the room.

Check your proximity and adjust as needed.

Interrupt your patterns

“You have to pattern interrupt your habits so you can pattern interrupt your life.” You are your habitual actions and decisions. You are your routine. When you want to change your life you have to change the things you do everyday. Interrupt your daily habits so that you can interrupt your life.

Always know what you need next

It’s critical in life to identify what you need next. If you’re not constantly identifying what you need next you’re just going to be settling. If you’re not clear on what you need next you need clarity next. Sign up for a free clarity call with Charlene at www.transformwithcharlene.com.

Say goodbye

Sometimes you have to say goodbye to one season of your life to give birth to the next season of your life. And sometimes you need someone to help you walk to the next level of your life.

Sometimes when we think we’re stuck we just holding onto something that we should be letting go. Fear of the unknown, comforts, and confusion prevent us from moving on. Learn to say goodbye to old seasons of your life. Don’t just go into the next season of your life. Go in non-negotiable.

“The smartest thing I did 22 years ago was get a personal life coach.” – Lisa Nichols

Play big

The bigger you play the bigger the breakdown. If you’re not having breakdowns you’re not playing big enough. Expect breakdowns when you play big, but know that suffering is optional. You do not have to suffer. If you’ve chosen to suffer – maybe you’re choosing to suffer right now – know that it is optional. Grow, don’t crumble in face of your breakdowns.

What’s next?

You don’t have to know everything you just have to know where to get it. Don’t try to eat the elephant. Take a bite. Remember those micro decisions (and actions). Focus on what you need to do next. Where do you need to focus your attention next? What project do you need to work on next?

Take radical action

Action alone is not enough. You need to take radical action to accomplish your goals. Schedule your tasks. If it’s not in the schedule it’s not getting done.

Control your thoughts

Remove any conversation in your head that might interrupt your growth. Show yourself unconditional love. Give yourself grace. Quiet the voices inside your head – the judgments, the evaluations, the commentary so you can grow.

Don’t grow alone

Say it out loud, “I will not grow alone.” You need a support system to help you grow. That’s why it’s so important to surround yourself with like minded people. That’s why it’s so important to invest in coaching. That’s why I attend so many personal development events and have worked with so many coaches. It’s hard to grow alone. And it’s not as fun.

“A coach will tell you what you don’t want to hear so that you can be who you know you were meant to be.” – Susie Carder

Learn more about Lisa Nichols, Motivating the Masses, and her events, products, and coaching at www.motivatingthemasses.com. Learn more about Speak and Write to Make Millions at www.speakandwriteworkshop.com. Learn more about Susie Carder at www.susiecarder.com.

Your turn

Successful people have coaches. I worked with tons of coaches – Fitness, Business, Sales, Life, Book Writing coaches. Every time I want to go after something in my life that is currently out of reach I reach for a coach. It’s an important part of personal growth and development.

It used to be said that it takes a village to raise a child. We used to have daily access to the wisdom of our elders. We lived in smaller communities and stayed close to our village, our tribe. But now, with advancements in standards of living, careers, gender equality our village is more spread out then ever. Yet, we still need the support, the wisdom, and the guidance of someone experienced and/or trained to coach us along. The need and the value hasn’t gone away just because the way we live has evolved. You still need a helping hand. You still shouldn’t grow alone. And you don’t have to.

If there’s something that you want for your life that is currently out of reach and you’re ready to grab a hold of it I’d like to invite you to apply for a complimentary, no obligation clarity call with me. You can apply at www.transformwithcharlene.com. If you have big goals for your life, if you’re ambitious, and non-negotiable about your future it shouldn’t be a matter of IF you’re going to partner with a coach. It’s a matter of WHO. Who will you partner with on your life goals? I’m inviting you to consider me. Apply at the link above. I look forward to meeting you! ~ Charlene

Related Articles:

Tony Robbins’ How to Unleash the Power Within

Jack Canfield’s Getting to Great in One Day

Mary Morrissey’s DreamBuilder

Tony Gaskins Jr.’s Live A Balanced Life

Think and Grow Chick’s The PowerHouse (aka Powerful Woman)

Lessons From the Law of Attraction with Esther Hicks

 


FCTB020: The Power of Coaches, Mentors, and Guides + How to Coach Yourself

I am a big proponent of coaching and have always seen the positive benefits of having a professional coach, or even a mentor or guide whether it is with business, love, or life in general. I am a personal testament to this as I have seen from both sides of it – being a coach myself and having been under the care of mentors and guides too.

That is the reason I have decided to share this episode that defines coaching and identifies the different benefits of having a coach, mentor, or guide. I also provided methods to coach yourself to success should you feel like you’re not ready yet to invest in getting a coach and mentoring program yet.

Some of the things I shared on this episode are:

  • Definitions of coaching that I adhere to (2:56).

Coaching is about creating an action plan that moves you forward, from where you are to where you want to be. – James Himm Mitchell

Coaching is all about having someone believe in you and encourage you, about getting valuable feedback, about seeing things from new perspectives and setting your sights on new horizons.

Life Coaching is your opportunity to take your life from good to great.

  • The concept of accountability through coaching which results to significantly increasing the likelihood to accomplishing tasks or goals (3:33), and why it’s a better idea to have a professional coach instead of a family member or a friend as your accountability partner (5:47).
  • The advantage of being able to think out loud and have someone listen and brainstorm with you if you feel there are issues or problems that you’re not confident to deal with by yourself (7:10).
  • The significance of having a coach who can be objective when you’re not, and can serve as a powerful reminder of your path and goals in case the vision gets blurry (12:12).
  • The ability to stay on track (and if you get off track, back on track), prioritize tasks an14:45).
  • The insights and assistance coaches provide to break down problems, issues, and tasks into small actionable chunks, connecting the dots, and finding solutions (19:56).
  • The assurance of having someone to assist you to address your thoughts, insecurities, and lack of knowledge (23:02).

I have listed potential coaches in a blog post I wrote a couple of months back. If the podcast has been helpful to you and you would like to work with me as a coach, you can shoot me an email at charlene@fromcaterpillarstobutterflies.com and I’ll get back to you so we can discuss your goals, challenges and pain points, and see how we can work together.

Alternately, if you feel like you’d want to try if you can coach yourself to success, I also have devised techniques so you can kickstart your way to self-improvement. Some of the methods that I have mentioned in past blog posts and podcasts are identified below such as:

  • Maintaining a daily goals journal (24:55)
  • Keeping a Life Balance Wheel (25:50)
  • Write a personal IT (Inspiring and Transformational) statement or manifesto (26:16)
  • The RAMP method (Reflect, Avoid, Move, Persist) (26:33).
  • Digging deeper (as I’ve contributed in Classy Career Girl) (27:27).
  • Thinking that there’s always something you can be doing (as provided in this podcast episode) (28:23).

Related Links:

 The Ropes to Skip and the Ropes to Know by R. Richard Ritti | Amazon

Three Feet from Gold by Sharon L. Lechter CPA, Greg S. Reid, and Mark Victor Hansen | Amazon

Creating Balance and Setting Boundaries | From Caterpillars to Butterflies

How to Get Unstuck | From Caterpillars to Butterflies

How to Get Ish Done When You’re Feeling Unmotivated | From Caterpillars to

5 Ways to Finish Strong | From Caterpillars to Butterflies

Ways We Sabotage Ourselves | From Caterpillars to Butterflies

21 Black Women Coaches to Help You Transform Your Life, Business, Family and Spirituality | From Caterpillars to Butterflies

4 Ways to Coach Yourself to Success | From Caterpillars to Butterflies

How to Coach Yourself to Success | Classy Career Girl

I hope you like this episode – thanks for tuning in! Want to share your thoughts on the episode? Chime in on the feedback section or email me at charlene@fromcaterpillarstobutterflies.com – I’d love to hear it! If you think this episode can help your friends and family, please do share it with them too. You can find the show on iTunes, SoundcloudStitcher, GooglePlay, and Podbean. You can also find me on social media, on FacebookInstagram, and Twitter.

Lastly, From Caterpillars to Butterflies is now in Patreon! Show your support to the podcast pledging and becoming a Patron – this gives you first dibs on episodes and members-only perks for as low as $1 a month. Your monthly love offering goes to improving the podcast and exclusive content and materials to help you with your personal growth journey. You may also show your support by leaving the podcast a rating and review on the podcast you’re listening to, this allows us to get up in the rankings and reach more people.

 

 


Frequently Asked Questions About Investing In A Life Coach

you can do anything

Do I need a life coach?

Short answer: Yes.

Long answer: Coaches help you get from where you are to where you want to be. It sounds cliche but it’s true. It’s not uncommon to receive support and guidance from another person. People generally work with life coaches specifically because:

  • They feel unfulfilled and want more out of life – Do you ever think to yourself, “I feel unfulfilled”? Working with a coach could help you identify exactly what’s missing, why it’s missing, and how to get it.
  • They feel out of balance – With all the roles people play with competing goals it’s easy to get out of balance. Working with a coach can help you create a balance in your life based on your priorities, values and goals. Your coach can also hold you accountable to your new balance structure.
  • They don’t know who they are – This person asks themselves, “Who am I?” They have lost sense of who they are and what they want. They have a hard time finding their place in the world. They don’t “fit in” with their current surroundings. Or they lack congruence in what they say, believe, and do. They may have gone through a major transition such as a marriage, divorce, empty nester, etc. They may have been subject to a bully at home or at work which has left them insecure and lost. Most people never take the time to really dig deep into who they are. It shows in the life they live and the things they settle for.
  • They have a major decision that troubles them – This was me. I was in a relationship that didn’t feel right. On the surface I couldn’t tell if it was me bringing baggage from a previous relationship into that relationship or if it was him. Talking with my coach helped me sort out my thoughts, my feelings, and my needs. I was able to think clearly about what I was experiencing and decide if that was the right relationship for me. A lot of times we harbor so much responsibility for things that we shouldn’t. We think that it must be us so we’re reluctant to make the decisions that we need to make in order to create our own happiness. (BTW – it was him 😉 )
  • They have big goals – One of the biggest benefits of having a coach (whether it’s business, life, health, etc.) is the accountability factor. Generally, when you make a commitment to another person you keep it. When you make a commitment to yourself a lot of times you don’t keep it. Let’s just be honest. When you know you have to report to someone else you’re likelihood of following through increases. In fact, research shows that your likelihood of accomplishing a goal increases to 95% when you have a scheduled appointment with your accountability partner or coach. How would you like to accomplish 95% of your goals?

What is a life coach?

A life coach is a professional who works with you to accomplish certain goals in your life and overcome challenges standing in your way. They are trained with a variety of tools and techniques to help their clients create their desired results for their life. Coaches may have a certain specialty such as relationship coaching or parenting coaching.

Why is working with a life coach valuable?

A lot of people are living unfulfilling lives that lack purpose. They have been in this cycle of “nothingness” for years. I talk to women all the time who say they have felt unfulfilled for years. Why is that? Working with a coach can help you break the negative cycles in your life. Whether that be the cycle of living an unfulfilling, uninspiring life year after year despite making a resolution to change every January or the cycle of constantly sabotaging your dreams and your relationships. A coach can help you get out of your own way and finally move forward.

Coaches provide outside perspective. They call you out when you need to be called out. They stretch you. They help you to get out of your head or out of your emotions so that you can make the best decision for you, your family, and your future. A good coach holds the vision you have for your life for you. She will hold you to your values when you are relaxing them. A coach is on your side. No, scratch that. A coach is on the side of your vision, your values, and your authentic self. She stands for those things even when you’re not.

What’s the difference between therapy and life coaching?

Therapy generally focuses on the past. Life coaching focuses on the future. Therapy asks, “How did you get here?” Life coaching ask, “Where are you going?” Therapy focuses a great deal on emotionally healing. Life coaching focuses on mastering your mindset. Therapy often serves as a release of thoughts and feeling related to an experience(s). Coaching focuses on the solution or best next step as it relates to the experience.  Both will help you improve your life.

How does life coaching work?

Depending on the coach your first interaction with them may be a clarity or strategy session. The main purpose of this session is to help understand what the potential client’s situation is so that the coach can ascertain if they can help them. There’s no reason to take someone’s investment if you can’t actually help them. During this call, the potential client will also be able to decide if they want to partner with that particular coach on their goals.

Once there is a mutual decision to move forward you will likely receive a welcome packet with an agreement spelling out the terms of your relationship, an initial client intake form, an onboarding questionnaire to define your goals and objectives, and details on how to schedule your first session. The first session is generally the longest and can last up to 2 – 3 hours. This is where the coach will review your welcome packet materials with you, dive deeper into what you most want to accomplish during your time together, and map out how you will work together to accomplish your goals and what to expect in general.

After your first session you will meet with your coach with regularity. This may be weekly or biweekly. The sessions may last 30 minutes to an hour. Most likely you will meet via phone, but you could also meet in person with your coach. Each session will be geared towards helping you achieve your goal. Depending on the coaching program your coach may set the general theme for each session. Other times you may set the theme for the session. For example, in my Rediscover You 12 week private intensive I take women through a journey to getting back to their authentic self. In my Transform Your Life 12 week private intensive the client sets the agenda (with my support) based on the transformation they’d like to see.

Your coach will likely have assignments and exercises for you to complete in between sessions. This may be to help you overcome a mental block you are experiencing. It may be to help you identify what’s the right balance to seek in your life (see the Life Balance Wheel). It may be to help you get super clear on what you really want.  Your coach may also send you additional resources as they see fit.

Meeting with your coach regularly helps to ensure you are making progress.

How many sessions do I need to see results?

It depends on your particular situation. I generally recommend working with your coach for at least three months to see the most transformation. It’s similar to your health. You wouldn’t work out one day and expect to lose weight. However, I do offer packages with as little as three sessions.

Do I really need a life coach?

Yes! Some of the most successful people in the world have a coach. Top coaches earn a million dollars per client. Yes, some people believe in the power of coaching so much they are willing to invest a million dollars.

Luckily, the investment to partner with me on the change you want to create in your life is not a million dollars (yet). To apply for a complimentary Rediscover You clarity session with me go to www.transformwithcharlene.com.

Additional Resources:

7 Powerful Stories of How Life Coaching Changes Lives

19 Life Changing Lessons From Amazing Life Coaches

26 Things Your Life Coach Would Tell You (if you had one)

One-On-One Life Coaching With Charlene

Video: Coaching – Take Your Life From Good to Great

 


7 Powerful Stories of How Life Coaching Transforms Lives

Accomplish your dreams, discover the real you, love yourself, transform your live.

Accomplish your dreams, discover the real you, love yourself, transform your live.

Kerry Washington has a great quote that I love. She says, “My brain and my heart are really important to me. I don’t know why I wouldn’t seek help to have those things be as healthy as my teeth. I go to the dentist. So why wouldn’t I go to a shrink?”

Understand, seeing a shrink (or therapist) is not the same as working with a life coach. Therapists focus on the past and how you’ve gotten to this point in your life. Life coaches focus on where you are now, where you want to be and how to get there.  Even as a life coach I love that quote. The concept is the same. I take care of my teeth. I take care of my body. I join 30 day squat and smoothies challenges. I want to snatch my waist. Why shouldn’t I take care of my future, my vision? Why shouldn’t I “snatch” my life?

Life Coaching changes lives. I know this for a fact. It’s still a new concept. Most people have never considered partnering with a professional on their goals, but a lot of successful people routinely invest in coaches.  If you’ve never considered investing in a life coach of your own these powerful stories will make you reconsider. Hear from 7 real people who achieved real results through the power of coaching.

Tools to deal with life

“I know I won’t see Cathy for more than a few months, but the time spent with her is building the foundation for a healthier life.

I’ve learned to value my thoughts and work, and trust my intuition rather than ignore it. Cathy taught me that I already have all the answers to my problems, and I simply have to listen to find a solution. Using positive affirmations and daily writing exercises, my anxiety levels have dropped. I feel that after leaving Cathy, I’ll have the proper tools to deal with stress.”  – IT HAPPENED TO ME: A Life Coach Actually Changed My Life

Abundance, joy, and fulfillment

“…working with a life coach isn’t just a nice-to-have. For me, and for just about every highly successful person I know, it’s an essential. It keeps us thinking big and moving that vision forward…I actually transformed every aspect of my life in those ten months and set out on a path that would bring me much abundance, joy, and fulfillment…” – Why I Happily Pay my Life Coach the Big Bucks

Happier Career

“My brother and dad had both seen a life coach named David whom they loved. They cautioned that he was eccentric, but great…He didn’t encourage me to stay or to go, he simply helped me to isolate the essential issues and gave me some questions to think about….That was over three years ago, and I am happier at my job now than I have ever been.” – My Visit to a Life Coach

Calmness and Happiness

“In the months since I finished my sessions with Yatros, I passed my one-year anniversary of being back in New York. My career has stabilized (by freelance standards), I’m finding time to see my friends, and my boyfriend and I are moving in together. I’m calmer and happier than I’ve been since I can remember.” – I Hired a Millennial Life Coach

Personal Integrity

“I gave my husband back massages; we had more sex than we’d had in a long time; my son started to recognize the right way to hold his board books; my daughter seemed to be whining less. The cloud of happiness and self-confidence gathering under my feet, Gerber said, was the result of living in “personal integrity.”…But I’m so grateful to have a blueprint for redirecting my energies in a productive direction, to know that following it calms and comforts me. Especially when you’re in a crisis, when everything seems dire and impossible, the promises are like a path to safety. The action-oriented approach has also taken root in ways that seem irrevocable.” – Life Coaching: Better than Therapy?

Take Control

I’m getting stronger and better everyday. Women are conditioned to be caretakers. We struggle to see our contribution as something to be compensated for rather than just appreciated.” – HOW A LIFE COACH TAUGHT ME TO TAKE CONTROL OF MY WORTH

Concrete Steps

“I didn’t walk away suddenly feeling cured or awakened. Instead, I had lists of concrete steps and actions to do in reaction to whatever my brain was fixated on…overall, I’m happy with where I am.” – 3 Things I Learned from My Life Coach

Want to learn more about how life coaching can transform your life?  Schedule a complimentary, private Transform Your Life Clarity session with me.

Transform Your Life Clarity Call

Additional Resources:

Frequently Asked Questions About Investing in A Life Coach

19 Life Changing Lessons From Amazing Life Coaches

26 Things Your Life Coach Would Tell You (if you had one)

One-On-One Life Coaching With Charlene

Video: Coaching – Take Your Life From Good to Great


My Favorite Quotes from Life Coach Tony Gaskins, Jr.

I recently wrote about 19 Life Changing Quotes from Amazing Life Coaches. I was laying in bed the night after I wrote this blog post and it suddenly hit me, “I forgot to include Tony Gaskins, Jr.!” How could I create a post with some of the top life coaches in the country and leave him out?! Yes, I weirdly think of life coaching at night before I fall asleep. To correct my error I’ve gathered some of my favorite “Tony G.” quotes. Get ready to be inspired!

 1. If you can’t do anything about it then let it go. Don’t be a prisoner to things you can’t change.

let-go

2. God makes originals not carbon copies. It’s okay to be inspired by someone, but be bold enough to be yourself.

3. Trust the process. Your time is coming. Just do the work and the results will handle themselves.

4. Have a vision and believe in it. You may be the only one who can see it, but that’s enough. If you believe, and you work, it will happen!

business-idea

5. Consistency is the key! If you can’t be consistent, then you can’t be anything.

6. Invest in yourself first. Expect nothing from no one and be willing to work for everything.

7. Growth hurts because change isn’t easy, that’s why they call it growing pains.

sapling

8. Develop strength and control at an early age and embrace love coupled with a selfless heart. Only then, will you find true peace in your heart and begin the journey to the best version of yourself and the best days of your life.

9. Let your pain birth your purpose. Let your mess become your message. Let this be a stepping-stone and not a stumbling block.

10. You can’t win in life if you’re losing in your mind. Think VICTORY over defeat at all times.

balloon

11. There isn’t always a quick fix. Sometimes you have to stay the course.

12. Stop looking outward and start looking within. The solution to every problem you face is inside of you.

13. Never arrive! Grow until you expire. There’s no such thing as “making it”. You’ll always have to work on you.

14. When you realize you are the Sun in your world, you no longer envy the shine of others.

16. Everything changes when we accept responsibility for ourselves. Stop blaming and start changing.

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17. Whatever you think you’re worth, double it.

18. You are the CEO of your life!

19. The truth steps on your toes when you’re out of line.

toes

20. There is room for everyone. You just have to be willing to put in the work to claim your spot.

21. Success and failure start in the mind. Win the battle in your mind and you can win in life.

22. Appreciate the grind. Respect the grind.

So, there you have it! My favorite quotes from life coach and relationship guru, Tony Gaskins. To be honest a lot of what this man says is gold, but I had to stop somewhere. He has been truly gifted with insight and wisdom beyond his years. If you’re not following him on social media you don’t know what you’re missing.

To learn more about life coaching check out the resources below!

Additional Resources:

Frequently Asked Questions About Investing in A Life Coach

7 Powerful Stories of How Life Coaching Changes Lives

19 Life Changing Lessons From Amazing Life Coaches

26 Things Your Life Coach Would Tell You (if you had one)

One-On-One Life Coaching With Charlene

Video: Coaching – Take Your Life From Good to Great


19 Life Changing Lessons from Amazing Life Coaches

Life Changing

There’s no shortage of amazing life coaches to help us transform the way we live our lives. We know them, we love them and we trust their wisdom. I’ve compiled a list of 19 transformation, life-changing quotes from life coaches I simply adore. There’s no special order. Enjoy!

1. Don’t worry about what you don’t know

“Do you ever find yourself with a genius idea, but paralyzed by thought “Yeah, but I don’t know how to do that…” Here’s the deal. 99% of what you need to do to grow your business or grow your life requires you do something you’ve never done before. It’s the beautiful common denominator of self-evolution.
That’s why everything is figure-outable is my default mantra. If I don’t know how to do something, I’m pretty sure there’s someone else on the planet who does.” – Marie Forleo

2. Dive deeply into the person you want to be

“Don’t dance around the perimeter of the person you want to be. Dive deeply and fully into it.” – Gabrielle Bernstein

3. When you long for something better have faith in that longing

“We sense love, but we don’t believe in it. We save our faith for fear. But ultimately, there is a quiet voice in each of us that longs for something better.” – Gabrielle Bernstein

4. Taking action = decision. Not taking action = no decision.

“A real decision is measured by the fact that you’ve taken a new action. If there’s no action, you haven’t truly decided.” – Tony Robbins

5. Your life can be a masterpiece

“I challenge you to make your life a masterpiece. I challenge you to join the ranks of those people who live what they teach, who walk their talk.” – Tony Robbins

6. Use your beliefs to empower you

“Beliefs have the power to create and the power to destroy. Human beings have the awesome ability to take any experience of their lives and create a meaning that disempowers them or one that can literally save their lives.” – Tony Robbins

7. Promising just isn’t good enough

“The road of life is strewn with the bodies of promising people. People who show promise, yet lack the confidence to act. People who make promises they are unable to keep. People who promise to do tomorrow what they could do today. Promising young stars, athletes, entrepreneurs who wait for promises to come true. Promise without a goal and a plan is like a barren cow. You know what she could do if she could do it, but she can’t. Turn your promise into a plan. Make no promise for tomorrow if you are able to keep it today. And if someone calls you promising, know that you are not doing enough today.” ― Iyanla Vanzant

8. Always take a chance

“If you are afraid to take a chance, take one anyway. What you don’t do can create the same regrets as the mistakes you make.” ― Iyanla Vanzant

9. Invest in your inside – your heart, your mindset, your vision

“So many of us invest a fortune making ourselves look good to the world, yet inside we are falling apart. It’s time to invest on the inside.” ― Iyanla Vanzant

10. Align your life with your gifts and you will be successful

“God made no mistakes when He created you. You were uniquely designed for success in your purpose. When you align your life with your strengths—those innate qualities you were gifted with—you will tap into a level of grace that empowers you to achieve things you could never accomplish in your strength alone.” ― Valorie Burton

11. Fight for what you see in your future. Fight for the vision to come to pass.

“God gives you the sight, the right, and the might to do great things, but you have to develop the fight!” ― Tim Storey

12. #BeReallyYou – it’s an amazing adventure

“You will have to fight for your comeback, but you have the three Members of the Godhead leading you, supporting you, and supernaturally enabling you in that fight…. Getting past your faults and weaknesses is the biggest fight you will take on, but the victories are sweeter than anything you can imagine. Fighting for your comeback is fighting to be who you were created to be, and becoming “yourself” is an amazing adventure.” ― Tim Storey

13. Try. Fail. Learn. Try again.

“Fact: From quitting smoking to skiing, we succeed to the degree we try, fail, and learn. Studies show that people who worry about mistakes shut down, but those who are relaxed about doing badly soon learn to do well. Success is built on failure.” – Martha Beck

14. Clarity = transformation

“When your clarity meets your conviction and you apply action to the equation, your world will begin to transform before your eyes.” ― Lisa Nichols

15. You don’t need permission to #BeReallyYou

“I am no longer asking for permission to be me. I’m giving notice.” – Lisa Nichols

16. You don’t have to know the specifics in order to take a step

“You don’t always have to know exactly what you’re doing or where you’re going. You just have to be willing to take the next step. Sometimes clear and powerful. Sometimes with blind unwavering faith.”  – Lisa Nichols

17. Inaction gets you nowhere

“We’re all ignorant in one way or another. There are things we simply don’t know, what we don’t know. When it comes to action, more than likely you know what to do, you’re just stopping yourself from doing it because you don’t know what exact actions will get you the results you want. However, the one thing I guarantee won’t get the results you want is INACTION.” – Sean Smith

I’m going to throw myself in here. Hey, I think I’m pretty amazing!

18. Rewrite your life script

“Sometimes we get stuck in the same script, different cast lifestyle. The people and places may change, but the script we’re living by doesn’t. As a result, we never create the transformation in our lives we’ve been yearning for. We have to be brave enough to pull out our red ink pen and mark up, scratch out, rewrite our life script. Until then, we will say stuck in chaos, unfulfillment, and dissatisfaction.” – Charlene Dior

19. Mediocrity on a platter is still mediocrity

“Life and the people it will at times attempt to serve you mediocrity on a platter. Because it’s dressed up you might be inclined to take it. If you don’t people may resort to saying (and believing) you are ungrateful or greedy. They might not even know for themselves that what they have offered to you is mediocre at best so don’t despise them. Simple thank life or whomever for the gesture and wait for something amazing.” – Charlene Dior

If you’re interested in leveraging the power of coaching in your life check out 4 Ways to Coach Yourself to Success. Looking for a coach to shift the trajectory of your life? Are you ready for something more? Sign up for a no cost Transform Your Life Coaching session with me.

 Transform Your Life Clarity Call

Additional Resources:

Frequently Asked Questions About Investing in A Life Coach

7 Powerful Stories of How Life Coaching Changes Lives

26 Things Your Life Coach Would Tell You (if you had one)

One-On-One Life Coaching With Charlene

Video: Coaching – Take Your Life From Good to Great


4 Ways to Coach Yourself to Success

4 Ways to Coach Yourself to Success

4 Ways to Coach Yourself to Success

Successful people have coaches.

I’ve heard it said that Oprah Winfrey has (or had) four coaches. I have a coach and my coach has a coach. I repeat, “Successful people have coaches.” There’s no other way around it.

I don’t know everything. Plus, I know that I bring insecurities and baggage from my past into my present. I also know that it makes no sense to be held back by things that I can change. I hate to see people staying stuck and not living their highest vision due to some aspect of their being that can be overcome. That’s why I started life coaching. That’s why I have a coach.

I have a business coach to help me take my coaching business to the next level. I need the business skills and exposure she brings to me. I need the accountability and the network of like minded people. I need the ongoing training and support.

I have a fitness coach. Now I admit, I know exactly what to do to stay healthy. The problem is I dun wanna! Lol. I’m not that girl who loves to hit the gym for hours and eat kale salads. Actually, I do love a good kale salad, but that’s besides the point. My fitness coach keeps me accountable to the vision for my health and body that I have. I made a good (financial) investment to have her work out with me every Saturday, keep track of my progress, cheer me on and send me meal plans. Sometimes (ok, ok a lot of the times) the only time I work out is Saturday mornings with her. And you know what? I’ve made great progress!

weight-loss

Happy dance! Happy dance!

My next coach will be a relationship coach. I’ve always been fortunate to earn a decent living and I’m very grateful for that. I thank God for my financial blessings. As a single woman desiring marriage and kids it also holds me back at times. I’ve out earned every man I’ve dated. Not that I have a problem with it or look down on these men. I just have little tolerance for other things that pop up. In my mind I’m thinking, “I’m not putting up with this. He don’t have no time AND he don’t have no money.” Lol. Don’t judge me. I know I have this thing to work out between being an financially independent woman and being a loving, supportive partner. I’m not there yet, but it’s my next stop.

The International Coaching Federation (ICF) did a study among people who had been coached. The results were extremely compelling that coaching makes a difference. 99% of respondents said they were “Satisfied” or “Very Satisfied” with the process. 96% said they would do it again.

This isn’t some smoke and mirrors, voodoo show. Coaching is valuable stuff. It changes lives, businesses, and relationships. It can change yours too.

Ok. So, you’re in. You have drunk the kool-aid. You believe in the power of coaching.

Yay! Yippee!

You want to know how you can leverage this awesome power for yourself. I got you. Here’s 4 ways you can coach yourself to success:

  1. Create a Daily Goals Journal – At the beginning of each day (or the night before) write down the goals you have and keep them in your mind throughout the day. At night revisit the goals taking note of what progress you made towards your goal. What did you do well? Where did you fall short? What’s your plan for improving? Overtime you’ll notice measurable progress towards your goals if you are consistent. <<Download my free Daily Goals Journal>>
  2. Create a Life Balance Wheel – This helps you identify areas in your life where you are unbalanced. Being unbalanced may show up as relationship problems, burnout, or just general dissatisfaction with life. Once you know where you currently stand make concentrated effort to re-balance your life. Shift your time and effort around to create a balance that you feel good about. The goal isn’t to be equal across all areas. That’s impossible. Being satisfied/content is possible and that’s the goal. Learn more about the Life Balance Wheel and download one for yourself in the Transformation Zone.
  3. Write your IT Statement. IT stands for Inspiring and Transformational. It’s your personal manifesto. It’s the thing that inspires you when you want to give up and leads you to your place of transformation. It is a series of statements that define who you, what you want, and where you’re going. See my IT Statement. To get you started fill in the blanks below:
    1. I AM _______________
    2. I HAVE _____________
    3. I WANT _____________
    4. I BELIEVE ___________
    5. I AM CAPABLE OF _____________
    6. I DESERVE ___________________
  4. Practice the RAMP method – RAMP stands for Reflect, Avoid, Move, Persist.
    1. You start with Reflection. I recommend journaling. Ask yourself where you are in life right now. How do you feel about that? Where would you rather be or where do you want to go next? Finish this sentence, “Wouldn’t it be great if….”
    2. Next you Avoid. This actually involves some reflection as well. What are some pitfalls you’ve fallen to before? What holds you back? What could hold you back? Now devise a strategy to overcome. For example, I mentioned that I have a specific vision for my health. As a result, I don’t buy snacks or sodas for my house. If I snack on something it’s because I’m not at home. I still enjoy “junk” food. I just don’t over indulge, because it’s not around. No mindless or boredom eating at my house. That’s my Avoid strategy.
    3. Move. With all the reflecting and strategizing it’s time to actually take action. What are you going to do? What steps will you take? Plan your work and work you plan during the Move phase.
    4. Persist. You’re going to want to quit. If you don’t want to quit your vision is big enough. This is the stage where your tenacity and resolve come into play. How will you persist? What’s your strategy for when the Move actions aren’t yielding results? This might include calling up an accountability partner, reading motivational material, or pulling out your IT statement. Even if you take a break, eventually you need to find your way back to the Persist stage.
    5. Once you’ve accomplished your goal or if you change your goal start all over again.
    6.  << Download RAMP Worksheet >>

You can combine any of the four life coaching techniques above. They work well together and in some cases they actually build upon each other. For example, once you’ve completed the Life Balance Wheel you may want to leverage the Daily Goals Journal as you work to create balance in your life. The Life Balance Wheel and the IT Statement can be created during the Reflect phase of the RAMP Method. The Daily Goals Journal can be used during the Move phase to assess your daily movements. As mentioned previously, the IT Statement can be a source of motivation during the Persist stage.

Want more tips and techniques?

<< Download my free How to Coach Yourself to Success audio training>>

Wait, what? What did you think? “All that sounds complicated”?

Okay. Relax. I have another option for you.

Here’s my calendar. Plop some time on this beauty for us to chat. I offer a complimentary “Love Your Life” clarity call that I invite you to sign up for. Hey, you made it this far. Why not?

During this call you and I (yes, me personally) will work together to:

=> Create a crystal clear vision of your highest, grandest vision so you know exactly what you want, where you’re headed, and what you need to do to make it happen.

=> Uncover hidden challenges (i.e. baggage) that may be sabotaging your ability to achieve what you really want.

=> Leave you re-energized and encouraged by Life’s possibilities that await you.

=> Explore opportunities for how we can work together on an ongoing basis to help you experience the breakthrough you’ve been yearning for.

Here’s that calendar again: Your Life Clarity Session

 

The most important thing….

The most important thing is to take action. Whatever you do next make sure it’s not nothing. Choose one of the 4 techniques above. Choose one of the techniques I discussed on the audio training. Sign up for my one on one life coaching session, Love Your Life. Find your own coaching strategies. Find another life coach you resonate with better. Whatever. I’m cool with whatever you do next as long as you do something. Just don’t let this be an article you read on a website that soon turns into a memory. Let this moment be a new beginning for you. You wouldn’t be here if you weren’t at least a little bit interested in creating some type of transformation in your life.

I tell people, “When you don’t reach for a vision you have for your life you’re missing out on a lot more than that particular vision.” Think about. When you’ve achieved something you don’t stop aspiring. You just expand your awareness of what’s possible and set your eyes on a new, bigger vision. Once you lose 3 pounds you strive to lose 3 more pounds. If you never lose the first 3 then you’ll never lose the second 3. That’s how it is with all your goals. Reach for what’s in your heart now, so that you can achieve what you’ve never even dreamed of (yet) later.

Stop leaving possibilities on the table of Life. You owe it to yourself, to your family, and to the world. Take action right now!

Additional Resources:

Frequently Asked Questions About Investing in A Life Coach

7 Powerful Stories of How Life Coaching Changes Lives

19 Life Changing Lessons From Amazing Life Coaches

26 Things Your Life Coach Would Tell You (if you had one)

One-On-One Life Coaching With Charlene

Video: Coaching – Take Your Life From Good to Great


Don’t Give People What They Want, Wake Them Up

henry ford

Last night I participated in an online training event for transformation coaches with Sean Smith at Motivating the Masses. It was a really good session for coaches like myself. I’ve also read awesome things about Sean Smith in the past so it was a great opportunity to experience him teach for myself and to learn from him directly. He gave a lot great information in the two hour session, but he also said something that I do not agree with. It is something I have heard many times before and every time I hear it I still disagree.

He said that as a coach, speaker, trainer, etc., you have to talk about what people want to hear and teach what they want to learn. The idea is that people are more receptive and open to listening if you are saying what they want to hear. They are more likely to work with you and buy from you if you are teaching what they want to learn.

But what if I don’t want to talk about what they want to hear? What if I don’t want to teach what they want to learn? Should I just go along with something that doesn’t interest me or set my heart on fire? That is the reason why I decided to leave corporate America. To finally do what is meaningful and full of passion to me.  Now Mr. Smith is telling me to forgo what I want and give the people what they want. Actually, he’s not the only person saying that. Check out any article with blogging or coaching advice and you’ll pretty much hear the same thing. “Don’t write about what you want to write about. Write or talk about what your audience wants to read about and listen to.”

Henry Ford said that if he would have asked people what they wanted they would have said faster horses. I definitely think there is a balance between meeting people’s immediate wants and holding the vision for them when they can’t see it for themselves. As a coach, I hold the vision. My goal isn’t to deliver faster horses, at least not in the long run. My goal is deliver cars.

There are plenty of things that people need to hear but they do not want to hear. They are simply too afraid to hear. They prefer not to hear because then they can use the excuse that they didn’t know and no one ever told them. At times they don’t even realize that there is something else worth listening to.

If your spouse needed to get up and get ready for work, would you just let them sleep? Of course not. You would wake them up. And so it is with the mark you leave on this world.  If you have a message that you’re passionate about and you truly believe in, maybe, just maybe that message is your calling. If no one wants to learn what you are teaching, maybe it is your responsibility to wake them up. Yes, it is possible that they will be reluctant or even disengaged. Don’t let that deter you for this is when people’s lives are truly transformed. Teaching someone what they want to learn will change them. Teaching someone what they need to learn will transform them. (Tweet this)

IT Statement (Inspiring & Transformational)

I am leaving my mark on this world. 

Tweet your IT Statement