I was on a “mastermind” call earlier this week and one of my fellow masterminds said to me, “You are not Tony Robbins.” Her intentions weren’t to be negative or insulting although I did want to tell her about herself. Clearly, I know I’m not Tony Robbins. I don’t even want to be. I am just a woman who is passionate about living the best life possible and I want everyone else to experience that. I’ve seen so many people live life as one big downward spiral; a cycle of “never get better”. I hate that because I truly believe everyone can have the life they desire. If I have to wake up everyday and experience this thing called life I want it to be a good experience. I don’t want to get up and be miserable and unhappy or dissatisfied. The day is going to past anyway so why not make it a good day? A good life.
That moment on the call was a defining moment for me. People will tell you who you are and who you are not all the time. Sometimes they have the worst intentions. Sometimes they mean you no harm. Either way, you can choose to believe what they have named you as or you can declare that the only person who gets to decide who you are is you and God. I could have shrunk down in agreement that I’m not Tony Robbins. I could have decided I should abandon by plans to launch a coaching career because I’m not Tony Robbins. Why even try? I can’t compete with him. So many times for so many of us, that’s exactly what we do. We get in agreement with the naysayer instead of getting in agreement with the heart and soul of who we are.
You get to decide who you are. No one else.
I’ve spent many years in corporate America and if you know anything about corporate America you know it’s almost synonymous with reorgs (as in reorganizations). I had been at this particular company for about six months when the first of many reorgs occurred. I went from managing online campaigns to managing search engine optimization (SEO). I’m all for learning something new, but I was not happy in this scenario. My director would always introduce me as the SEO expert. The problem was I didn’t want to be the SEO expert. I didn’t want to brand myself as the SEO expert. I’m a marketer! I used to think, “You don’t tell me who am I or what my expertise is. I tell you!”
I tell you that story to reinforce that you get to decide who you are. It’s your birthright. Don’t give it away to anyone else. Don’t let someone else brand you. Don’t let someone else tell you who you are or who you are not. You define who you want to be and then you tell everyone else who you are.
I have a sticky note on my computer that reads, “You are not Tony Robbins.” It inspires me to be who I want to be without regard to what others say I am.
Who are you? Who do you want to be? It’s completely up to you.