Yesterday I wrote a post, Minimize Decision-Making So You Can Achieve Your Goals. I shared the post on my social channels and someone commented, “Without love and Trust time and money do not matter.” I responded, “Love is found in many places. If one does not have any love in their life most of the time I would venture to say it’s a choice.”
I assume when he said, “Without love” he was referring to romantic love, because as I said love is everywhere you want it to be. But even still romantic love is not a prerequisite for a life of meaning. There are many reasons that one could be without romantic love. They are simply single. They are divorced. Their partner passed away. Their partner’s health deteriorated. I met a woman who said her marriage was more like a caregiver / patient relationship than a husband / wife relationship. They fell out of love.
[bctt tweet=”Romantic love is not a prerequisite for a life of meaning. ” username=”charlene_dior”]
Life (along with time and money) matter even when you are not “in love”. And not being in love doesn’t mean being out of love.
Love exists in many places.
Anytime I come home by dog is standing there, bright eyed waiting for me. Well, sometimes she’s knocked out, but most of the times she hears the garage open and she assumes the position. She lovingly waits my entrance. When I open the door she’ll stand there for a moment as if she doesn’t recognize me. Five seconds later she’s running and jumping. She does this funny thing where she jumps on you and then bounces off at an angle. Sometimes she even lets out a whimper of joy.
That’s love.
I called my mother one day in the middle of the day. She was at work. I had just left the doctor’s office. My face flooded with tears I cried, “I have to have surgery.” I had been in pain and unable to keep anything down. At first I thought it was food poisoning. Instead it was large ovarian cysts on both ovaries. They needed to come out yesterday and like a baby I called my mommy crying. In the middle of teaching a class full of army soldiers my mother cried for me as well. She also came to Tallahassee to care for me following the surgery.
I woke up from surgery in the post-op room. It was cold. “Can I have a blanket?” I asked whomever was in the room with me. I was given in extra sheet. “Are my ovaries okay?” I asked. Silence. I always wanted to have a big family. I said before I wanted five kids just like the Cosby’s. I was especially concerned about my ovaries.
Related: A Letter to My Current Self from My Future Self
I was wheeled into the room where my mother was waiting. “Are my ovaries okay?” I asked of her. Again silence.
“Mom, I’m talking to you.”
With tears in her eyes she told me they had to remove my entire left ovary. The cyst was too big. It was bigger than my uterus. (Thankfully, the cyst of my right ovary was no longer there when they cut me open).
My mother cried for me as if it had been her own surgery and her own removed ovary.
That’s love.
My twin sister’s car flipped over. She was in a bad accident. I rushed to where she was. I pulled up to the gas station where everyone had settled to see her car still standing on its roof. I jumped out of my car and rushed to her. As I walked toward her her eyes swelled up with tears. It’s the cry you cry when vulnerability hits you in a space where it’s perfectly safe and even expected to be vulnerable. I hate that my sissy had such a life threatening car accident. But I love the fact that she called on me. I love the look on her face and the tears in her eyes that acknowledged I was there. She was not alone and she was safe.
That’s love.
There’s so many stories of love that I can share. My dad drove cross country from Kentucky to California to see his kids when we were living there. The end of every call for as long as I can remember is, “Hugs and kisses. Muah, Muah, Muah.” The meals that were cooked. The cakes that were baked and shipped in the mail. The phone calls and birthday cards. The money given when end wouldn’t meet. The time spent. The prayers prayed. All acts of love.
Whenever I step in the Lord’s house there’s love. There’s love in the worship songs. There’s love in the preaching. There’s love in the offering. There’s love in my church family from the usher team to my life group. My church even mailed me a copy of my pastors new book, Blessed in the Darkness.
That’s love.
God’s love is with me even when I’m not in church. As I sit here and write (and cry) God’s love is here too.
There’s love in the acts of service and donations many have willingly contributed to help those displaced by hurricane Harvey and other disasters cross the world.
There’s love in my friendships, friends I talk to (somewhat) often and friends I talk to here and there.
There’s love in my house. There’s energy and comfort here. These walls love and protect me.
There’s love on this blog, fromcaterpillarstobutterflies.com. The love and pride I feel for what I’ve created is no puppy love. This is the real deal. Regardless of what anyone else thinks I’m proud and in awe of my work. That’s love.
There’s love in my body that keeps going strong. There’s love in my dreams that I feel so connected to. There’s love in my prayers sent up to heaven.
And there’s love in me for me. I love myself. I really do. I believe in myself. And my life matters simply for that reason. My time matters because I have love for me. The love that I have for me drives me to make the best of my time here on earth.
“Self-love is the source of all our other loves.” – Pierre Corneille
Related: FCTB014: Self Love
I’m surrounded by love. I’m covered in love. I’m centered in and by love.
Romantic love can come and go. You fall in and then out. That’s actually a big reason why relationships built on romantic love don’t often survive. It’s fleeting and it’s selfish. Romantic love chases the high of love and not the groundedness of love.
But this love does not easily fade. In fact, this love I’m speaking of won’t fade. The Love that covers a multitude of sin won’t ever leave. The love that cries when I cry is here forever. The love that calls on me in a moment of need and vulnerability is unconditional. The love that jumps up and down when I walk through the door is everlasting. The love that I feel for myself that makes me not ever want to give up on or deprive myself is life changing.
I’m surrounded by love all day everyday. I’m grounded in it. I’m surrounded by love even when no one is here. Love is why I’m alive. My time, my money, and my life all matter because of love.
“But the greatest of these is love.” 1 Corinthians 13:13
So my friend is right. Without love none of this matters. But the good thing is that we all make our own choice as to whether we see and feel love. It’s everywhere so having love is just a matter of choice. We get to decide if we see love today. Or to not see or feel love. It’s our choice to see love everyday wherever we are.
That’s the choice I make. I choose love. And that is what matters.
[bctt tweet=”Love exists in many places and in many faces.” username=”charlene_dior”]
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