Today’s episode is about confidence. Building confidence affects different areas of our daily life. It could make all the difference in landing that coveted job, asking the girl or guy out, voicing your opinion, and pretty much anything we are too scared to do but can potentially change the course of our lives.
“Fear comes in the thinking, confidence comes in the doing”
With this quote in mind, I have come up with tips to increase your confidence. Here are 7 fool-proof ways to build and boost your confidence and self-esteem.
#1 Look the part. We often underestimate the impact of our physical appearance on our confidence level. Pay attention to things that make you feel at your best and confident – be it with make-up, hairstyle, clothes. Invest time and/or money, and purposefully present yourself in a way that makes you confident (1:15).
#2 Set the part. Be confident in your environment – you might find that the physical surroundings and the atmosphere we’re exposed to – our workspace, home, car, including other visual and auditory cues, affect our moods – and in effect our confidence. If we’re confident with these external representations of our life, it will spill out with a healthy level of self-confidence (6:23).
#3 Act the part. Sometimes we wait for our feelings to rise up and our actions follow. But we can also let actions happen first and let our feelings catch up. Body language can play a part in boosting our confidence. Head held high, smiling, giving a firm handshake, talking in a modulated tone and volume – these are ways to project confidence and eventually feel authentically confident too (7:21).
#4 Control your thoughts. Self-defeating thoughts are just in our heads, and it is us thinking how other might be thinking about us. We need to call out these destructive and distracting thoughts and instead channel a specific thought, a go-to statement or internal pep talk whenever confidence is low. Doing so removes the self-doubt and replaces it with something more positive (10:48).
#5 Have a safe space. It can be through an organization, a coach, friends or family who can help us get more comfortable and build our confidence safely without criticism (14:38).
#6 Avoid comparisons. Step away from people that become a source of comparison, and yes, it can include social media where people tend to flaunt their good lives (15:46).
#7 Embrace confidence-building in the way it most serves you. We have different learning curves, and the same thing applies to gaining confidence – some may take a plunge, while some slowly ease their way into the pool – and that is okay. Set a goal to achieve that can be made possible through self-confidence and work your way to it in your own terms (16:41).
I also shared my personal experience when I dealing with my own self-confidence issues and how I applied the tips I provided in those scenarios (2:29; 7:51;11:23). I would like to put a disclaimer though that to gain confidence doesn’t mean you straight-up mimic someone who exudes confidence – as this can create further insecurity. The idea is to know who you are, find, learn and own your confidence. Sometimes we wonder why some people seem to be so confident, while we are bombarded by self-doubt. The truth is, even confident people have an inner dialogue of self-doubt, but they don’t let it stop them.
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If you learned a thing or two today, and think others might benefit from this episode, please do share it with them. If you’ve got questions or feedback on this episode, or are interested in a coaching session with me, shoot me an email at charlene@fromcaterpillarstobutterflies.com and I’ll get back to you soonest.
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Thanks for taking the time, and until next time!