Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the king’s horses and all the king’s men
Couldn’t put Humpty together again.
I’m sure you remember the nursery rhyme about Humpty Dumpty. I had a thought about this rhyme last night. Why couldn’t all the king’s horses and all the king’s men put Humpty together again? I mean the king had to have infinite resources, talent, and intellect around him. Why couldn’t anyone figure out a way to put him back together again? And why were they even trying to?
It’s not uncommon to go through life trying to “fix” people. I know I have. As a woman I spent years trying to fix a man.
He doesn’t have the support system I have.
His parents weren’t hardworking, driven people. That’s why he has no ambition.
No one ever told him or showed him and blah, blah, blah.
Those were all the thoughts I had; the reasons he was so broken and why I needed to fix him. After years are unsuccessful attempts I had to move on. I was becoming broken in the process. Broken people break people. But I finally realized the truth. I now know why all the king’s horses and all the king’s men couldn’t put Humpty together again. You can’t fix broken people. It’s impossible.
Now, I happen to believe everyone has some brokenness to them. Some more destructive or inhibitive then others. Nonetheless we’re all broken. That’s not a death sentence. We can be healed, but we have to heal ourselves.
Sometimes we’re waiting on someone else to fix us. Just like trying to fix someone else, it’s futile. It can’t happen. We tell ourselves if we just had closure we could heal. “I just need to understand why,” we think. It’s understandable to believe that the person or people who broke us are the only ones who can fix us. After all, they caused the damage. However, it’s simple not true. We fix ourselves and we heal ourselves.
When we accept that we (along with God) are the only ones who can fix us we re-empower ourselves to heal ourselves. We are no longer waiting on our mother, father, ex, etc. to make us better. We no longer cover up the brokenness with destructive behaviors and beliefs. We work towards our own healing irrespective of other people. Likewise, we stop trying to fix those in our lives. We accept that they have to want the healing and ultimately a better life for themselves.
That’s a big part of why I got into life coach and hypnosis. I get to help people facilitate their own healing instead of waiting on someone who could never heal them to begin with. Humpty Dumpty didn’t need all the king’s horse and all the king’s men to put himself back together again. He just needed himself. And that’s all you need too.
If you’re interested in learning more about how life coaching can help you, visit the coaching page and schedule your complimentary coaching session.