Last night I attended Love Your Life Women’s Conference at Lakewood Church. I just love the name of the conference! It’s my motto as well. In fact, it’s the tagline to my first self help book, From Caterpillar to Butterfly: Transform the Life You Have into the Life You Love. If you’re going to live anyway why not love the life you’re living?
Here’s some of my takeaways to show you how to love your life:
Know that Everything About You is Right
In this day in age it’s very easy to compare yourself to others. Their lives are blasted all over social media. Perhaps yours is too. It used to be “what goes on in this house stays in this house.” You weren’t allowed to tell all your business to anyone. Now everything is shareable. So it’s easy to see what everyone else has going on and attempt to measure how you stack up. And if you don’t measure up you’re self confidence can take a hit.
“Don’t approach life from a deficit.” – Pastor Victoria Osteen
You have everything you need. Everything about you is right. We tend to focus on what we’re missing, but we’re not missing anything. We only think we are because we’re paying attention to what everyone else has. If you don’t have something it means that you don’t need it. We live in an abundant universe and serve an abundant God. There is no deficit. We are more than enough in God’s eyes.
“You have everything you need for a successful life.” – Pastor Victoria Osteen
Know who you are and who you’re called to be and there will be no competition. We’re all special to God. We’re just not all gifted with the same gifts.
Stir it Up!
God has gifted each one of us. Every single person alive has a gift. We have to stir the gift up. This was so powerful to me. Of course there’s something special about every single person. We all have a unique gift and ability that fits us and our purpose in the world. But we don’t always use those gifts. A lot of the times we suppress our gifts. We might even doubt our gifts. We let our gifts lay dormant.
Your gifts are inside of you, but you have to stir them up. They are not going to spontaneous erupt into the world. You have a part. You have to get your hands a little dirty. You have to pull up your sleeves a bit. You have to put your wrist into it and stir up your gifts. Where there’s movement there’s upward mobility. Where there’s suppression and inactivity you stay still and stagnant.
Take the gifts that you’ve been given and give them back to God. What’s in your heart that you would like to pursue? What are you tempted to give up on because it’s not happening fast enough? Stir your gift and keep stirring if you want to love your life.
Be Better Together
There was a roundtable discussion about the importance of good friends. We all need great girlfriends in our lives. In fact, we need God friends. We need friends that love us unconditionally like God does. Aventer Gray said that being a good friend is a learned behavior. So you have to be willing to learn and adjust to your friends. A lot of people don’t want to do this, but it’s important. It’s similar to dating. You have to blend in some areas to make it last.
Avenger also said that real friends want to see you grow. They don’t want to see you stay the same. So true. We are not meant to stay the same. But you have to be flexible per the statement above. If your friend calls you out (in love) because you’re not growing you have to be strong enough to hear her out. You don’t end the friendship because someone gave you feedback.
“Iron sharpens iron.” – Proverbs 27:17
When you’re with your friends focus on where you’re going, not where you’ve been. When you been friends with someone for a long time there’s a lot of history and memory. We tend to reminisce on the past with people who know our past. Yet, our destiny is in front of us. It’s important to focus on the future.
“God aligns friendships for His glory.” – Aventer Gray
It was stated that purpose is defined by friends who help you get to where God wants you as opposed to keeping you at your worst. You friends have to see you the way God sees you. They have to encourage you to keep pressing forward. Sometimes friends (and family) can move you in a direction headed away from God and His will for your life. That’s not a God friend.
“Spur one another along. Don’t let them get stuck.” – Pastor Victoria Osteen
Yes, we are better together, but we can’t be “together” with everyone. Sometimes you outgrow friendships and that’s okay. You may mature as a person and a spiritual being in one moment of your life around certain friends. After that season of growth you don’t talk as much because you don’t need each other as much. I’m not saying need as in some material or physical need. They’re not needed for your growth any longer and vice versa.
Also, you have to be healthy spiritually and emotionally to be a good friend to others and your friends have to be healthy to be a good friend to you. If you have emotional baggage or are co-dependent it can make healthy relationships impossible. If you know you’re not healthy or confident enough to be a great friend seek help with a mentor, therapist, or coach.
“The healthier we are spiritually and emotionally the better relationships we have.” – Lisa Comes
You also have to have a good relationship with yourself. The relationship you have with yourself impacts your relationships in every other area of your life.
Set Healthy Boundaries
Setting healthy boundaries is an important part of loving your life. Boundaries keep everyone safe, but you have to communicate your boundaries. You can’t keep track in your head and in your spirit of how someone keeps crossing your boundary and never mention it to them. Then when you’re fed up and ready to end the relationship they have no clue why.
“It’s not fair to not communicate boundaries.” – Pastor Victoria Osteen
Don’t Compare
Lisa Bevere took the stage next. Her main message was that we are unrivaled. There is no competition. You can’t let competition and comparison distract you. Again, in this generation it is very common. When you’re focused on what everyone else is doing it can get you off track. You can chase what everyone else is chasing. You can get discouraged. I wrote about this earlier this week in the post How the News and Social Media Affects Your Life.
“You will never discover what you are called to do in the presence of people, but in the presence of God.” – Lisa Bevere
Lisa says the brave do not compare. You have to be brave to not measure yourself against others. You know that your life is stamped with an eternity stamp. Your focus is beyond just the next 70-80 years. Your focus is on who God called you to be.
When you compare yourself to others one of two things will happen. One, you will decide that you don’t measure up and it will impact your self worth. You’ll find it difficult to fulfill your purpose and passion. Two, you will decide that they won’t measure up to you and you will become prideful. Pride comes before a fall so you want to protect yourself against pride. Plus, we’re better together so you don’t want to walk around thinking you’re better than someone.
“Asking for help is not a weakness. It is wisdom.” – Lisa Bevere
Don’t Compromise
Don’t compromise. When you have something in your heart and you discard it so you can keep up with the Jones you are compromising. Or if you’re just too afraid to move forward. It’s a compromise to not follow your heart and when you compromise you could be causing other people to as well. Other people need you to fulfill your purpose so they can fulfill theirs. There are people coming up behind you. There are people walking along beside you. If you give up they might too. There are people not even born yet who will in some manner pick up the torch that you’ve been carrying and continue on. Your compromise effects them too.
“You not being everything God created you to be is a compromise.” – Lisa Bevere
Be influential not popular. It’s natural to want to gain followers, fans, and subscribers. Sometimes these are just vanity metrics. As in they make us look (and feel) good. But it’s more important to be a woman of influence. If you can influence you can change lives. You can change the world.