My theme word for 2016 is “ask”. Ask as in:
- Ask for what I need.
- Ask for what I want.
- Ask for help.
- Ask for clarity.
- Ask for understanding.
- Ask for space.
- Ask for fulfillment.
- Ask for forgiveness.
- Ask for an opportunity.
- Ask for another chance.
- Ask for blessings from God.
I have a problem with asking. I’ll be honest. My natural disposition is to believe that people will do what they want to do. I don’t have to ask and probe and prod. “If you want to you will. If you don’t you won’t”. This position has often left me disappointed and less than fulfilled. As a result, I tend to move on because my needs aren’t being met. A part of the reason why people, myself included, do not ask for what we want and need is because we don’t want a confrontation. Or we believe they should just know. So we sit in silence with disappointment brewing rather than to face the gap head on. The gap being the space between our current reality and our preferred reality. By asking for what we need and want we can open the door to effective communication and solutioning. It doesn’t have to be a big confrontation to say to someone in love, “Hey, you’re not giving me what I most want and/or need right now.”
Another reason why we don’t ask for what we want or need is because we’re afraid of rejection. Somewhere along the line the message that being told no was a bad thing has been instilled in the vast majority of the population. Human nature is to avoid “bad” things. Therefore, we avoid asking. I’m sure you’ve heard the popular saying, “A closed mouth won’t get fed.” It’s necessary to ask for help from other people from time to time. It can also be healthy. You stay humble and grounded when you know you did not accomplish anything on your own. Furthermore, you feel less stress when you realize that you don’t even have to. Sure, some people will tell you no. They can’t or possibly they don’t want to. And that’s okay.
You can position yourself to have a much more rewarding life, relationship, career, etc. when you are just willing to ask. It might be that your boss was willing to give you that promotion and pay raise you desired if you would have ask instead of changing firms. Maybe you don’t have to tackle your weight loss goals on your own if you would just ask for support and accountability. Maybe your spouse doesn’t have to miss dinner every night if you would ask. Maybe your parents would lend you the money to start that business. You just have to ask.
I personally have decided to make a shift for 2016. A shift towards at least asking for what I need and giving the opportunity for those needs to be met before moving on. A shift towards asking for what I deserve. A shift towards asking for what I most want out of life. This will be the year of asking.
Is there anything you need to ask for? What’s your word for 2016?
IT STATEMENT (Inspiring and Transformational)
I ask for what I want and need.