Grow, Don’t Crumble Through Circumstances

One of my mastermind sisters recently shared with the group that she was asked to resign from her job. The reason? She was building a business during her PERSONAL time.

The first thing I thought when I heard that was that somebody felt threatened. When we feel certain feelings we want to get rid of them as soon as possible. Intimidation is one of those feelings. We don’t want to sit in it. It’s like a hot potato. As soon as it lands in my hands I must throw it to someone else.

It instantly reminded me of why I started this blog in the first place. Everyday of our lives we get to decide how we will react to things. We get to decide what and who we will honor. We get to decide what we will grow through and what we will crumble in the face of.

“Change is constant. Growth is optional. Choose wisely.” – Unknown

I’ve learned through the years that when most people are faced with a choice to grow or run they choose the latter. They run. Or they run you off. They blame. They shame. They will do anything but grow.

People will get a divorce so that they don’t have to grow. They will lose their job. They will lose their health all to avoid growth. They will excuse it by saying, “I was like this when they met me.”

So?

It’s easier to blame someone else. People like to deflect so that they can protect themselves.

It’s easier to pretend that what’s happening in your life is caused by some external factor.  It takes the pressure off of you. You get to let yourself off the hook when you pretend it doesn’t have anything to do with you.

Yet there’s no power in that. Power is in the acknowledgement. Power is found when you are willing to sit in your mess. Power is found when you are willing to sit in your feelings.

And you know what else?

That’s where your growth is too. When you process what’s going on in your head and heart you grow.

When you pretend like it has to do with another person you don’t grow. You set yourself up to experience the exact same situation with another person. I call this the Same Script, Different Cast Lifestyle. If the script stays the same it doesn’t matter who the characters are. Nothing really changes. The lines are all the same. The scenes are all the same.

I can speak from my own experience of having a bully boss who was threatened by me. Like my mastermind sister’s boss, she wanted me out. The difference is I wasn’t asked to resign. I was fired. The interesting thing is that that boss continued to have employee issues. Why?

Same script, Different Cast

I never understood why people shy away from growth opportunities. I completely get that it’s scary, but it’s necessary. Sometimes you need to just pull out that red ink pen and edit your life script. Cross out some things. Rewrite other things.

That’s how you grow. That’s how you get unstuck. You stop putting up with the same stuff over and over again. Not the stuff out there, caused by someone else. No, you stop putting up with your own stuff. Your intimidation. Your procrastination. Your excuses.

My boss could have taken a different approach. She made an earnest effort to establish positive working relationships with her staff. Yet she chose to take the easy way out.

My mastermind sister’s boss could have taken a different approach. He could have asked himself why is he bothered with her after work activities. Maybe it would have led him to acknowledge a fear of abandonment. Maybe he wants to start his own business but lacks the courage. In any event, he too took the easy way out.

The easy way out is limiting. I talk a lot about living the highest vision for your life. You have to grow to be able to achieve that vision. If you already had what you needed you would already have what you wanted. You have to develop and grow into a new version of you.

Refusing to grow hurts you in the long run. Sure, if the caterpillar decided not to grow she would never have to experience being in that dark, constricting cocoon. On the flip side, she would never get to fly.

Sometimes life forces us to grow. My sister is now in a season of growth. She was caught off guard and she has to “sit” in this situation. Just being transparent enough to share her story with the rest of us shows that she is willing to grow through this. She will not crumble in front of this experience.

I too chose to grow and not crumble. I started this blog as a resource for people ready and willing to grow themselves. I wanted to share the message that you don’t have to fear growth. You can embrace growth opportunities knowing that a butterfly is in the making.

“First life whispers, then it yells”.

Eventually the growth that you have been avoiding will come for you loud and clear. At some point your world may be knocked upside down. At some point the growth you’ve been avoiding may cost you something that you wanted to keep. That’s when it hurts. When you lose the love that you wanted to keep. When you lose the career that you thought you’d have forever.

Don’t let it get to that point. Be willing to sit in your stuff. Take off your running shoes and sit down. Grow on purpose.

If you need support as you grow let’s chat. Let’s discuss what’s going on in your life, the role that you’ve played in how things are, and how to get to where you really want to be. Sign up for a private, complimentary Transform Your Life clarity session with me. Reserve your spot at www.transformwithcharlene.com.