Belief Busters: How to Overcome Your Limiting Beliefs

 

Bust Through BeliefsA limiting belief is a belief that is limiting. It holds you back. It prevents you from being all that you can be and from accomplishing all that you can accomplish. Limiting beliefs can cause you to stay stuck and dissatisfied. You want something more for your life but you don’t believe it’s possible for you. Essentially. you settle for the life you have instead of demanding the life you want and deserve.

How do you know if you have a belief that is limiting your life? I gave you some tips previously in Your Biggest Limiting Belief is That You Don’t Have Any. To quickly recap, when you think about why you are not where you want to be in your life what reasons do you tell yourself about why that is?  Do your answers suggest that it’s not your fault and that it is beyond your control? If so, you are likely dealing with a limiting belief.

Since limiting beliefs keep you stuck and unfulfilled it’s important to develop strategies to overcome them. I will share with you two strategies that you may choose to leverage as you strive to overcome your limiting beliefs.

1. Byron Katie’s Four Questions

Byron Katie is the founder of The Work, an organization that helps people “end their own suffering”.  She has created a simple system that supports others in overcoming their limiting beliefs. Here’s the system:

  1. Grab your journal
  2. Think about a belief that is holding you back and stressing you out.
  3. Ask yourself these four questions:
    1. Is it true?
    2. How can I absolutely know it is true?
    3. How do I react when I believe that thought?
    4. Who would I be without the thought?

These questions re-empower you. The first two guide you as you separate what’s the real truth and what’s your version of the truth. Understanding this is key. Awareness is always the first step. The third question helps you identify what impact believing this belief to be true has on your life. A belief could instill fear in you. It could make you feel insecure or cause you to shut down. The finally question opens you up to a greater possibility. It forces you to imagine what you are capable of without the baggage of limiting beliefs.

Learn more here –>  Byron Katie’s Four Questions

2. Charlene Dior’s Belief Busters Exercise

I teach women how to overcome their limiting beliefs by proving them to be false. Beliefs are not the truth. They are simply your truths. They are what you “know” to be true. And maybe up until this point in your life they have been true for you. Until you can accept that something else could be true you will continue to be limited by your beliefs. This exercise helps you prove to yourself that there is in fact another truth.

Here’s how it works:

  1. Grab your journal.
  2. Ask yourself where you are unhappy or dissatisfied in your life.
  3. Identify the limiting beliefs that are holding you back. NOTE: Be really specific here.
  4. Find at least four truths that bust each of your beliefs.

I’ll go into detail with this process.

Step 1 is self explanatory. 🙂

Step 2:

Earlier I said that the way you can identify a limiting belief is to ask yourself, “Why am I not where I want to be at this point in my life?” This is a general question, but really you should alter this to be more specific where necessary.

You may want to start with asking yourself these two questions: “What am I unhappy with in my life right now? Why is that thing the way it is?” When you ask yourself the why question is your answer something that empowers you to create change? If not, this may be a limiting belief for you.

For example, you might say that you are unhappy with your physical appearance and weight. Your why could be “because I haven’t prioritized or invested in this area of my life” or it could be “because I’m 42 and my metabolism is slowing down. 42 year olds can’t lose weight. There’s really not a lot that I can do about that.”

Step 3:

Which answer is empowering and which is dis-empowering? The dis-empowering answer is a limiting belief. In a nutshell, the limiting belief is “I’m too old to lose weight.”

Do you see?

During this step, you will take all the dis-empowering answers from Step 2 and write them out in detail. Write down the specific belief and what it relates to. This might sound like, “I’m 42 years old and I want to lose 40 pounds, but my age and metabolism make this impossible.”

Step 4:

Find real cases that prove your beliefs to be false. In this day and age with the internet this shouldn’t be that difficult. You may even know people in your everyday life that can “bust” a belief for you.

If the example above pertained to you, you would find four women in their 40’s who lost 40 pounds.

If you’re limiting belief is “I can’t make six figures because I don’t have a college degree” you would find four women who earn six figures without a college degree.

Try to get as close as possible to your exact scenario so that there are no “buts”. I don’t want you saying, “this person lost 40 pounds at 42, but he’s a man and men lose weight easier than women.”

Find at least four examples. Otherwise, you’ll tell yourself that that one person is an anomaly. They’re not the norm. They’re one of the lucky ones. Having as many examples as possible help dispel the limiting belief that so-and-so is special.

It’s okay to be an overachiever. Go for more than four if you can. It’s for your benefit!

Once you’ve completed all four steps don’t stop there. Don’t just complete this exercise and then put it away forever. Meditate on it regularly, especially in the days and weeks that immediately follow. Accept these to be your new truths. Whenever you find yourself falling back into your old limiting beliefs pull out your list and reinforce these truths in your heart and mind.

To help you get started with this exercise I am including a Belief Busters Worksheet as a free resource. [Download Worksheet]

 


Your Biggest Limiting Belief is That You Don’t Have Any

limiting beliefs

What’s a limiting belief? Perhaps you’ve never heard of that terminology before. I’ll explain.

A limiting belief is basically what it sounds like. It is a belief that limits you. It isn’t necessarily true. Our beliefs have nothing to do with what the truth is. Our beliefs tend to be our truths. Not the truth.

A limiting belief might sound like:

  • I never get any good breaks.
  • Women like me can’t ….
  • I’m too old to ….
  • I’m too young to ….
  • I’m too introverted to ….
  • I’m too extroverted to ….
  • There’s nothing I can do about my current situation.
  • This is just the hand I’ve been dealt.
  • It is what it is.
  • I’ve made too many bad decisions to change my life.
  • I’ve gone down the wrong road far too long to get to where I want to be.

Anything that dis-empowers you is a limiting belief. You believe, either consciously or subconsciously, that something in this life is not available to you. Furthermore, you believe that it is outside of your control. There’s nothing that you can do about it. You’re limited to where you are and to what you have.

Did any of the statements above resonate with you? Have you ever expressed a similar sentiment?

As long as you believe that you’re not in control you’re not. That is because you’re not exercising the control that you do have. It’s like the cliche answer to being overweight. “I’m big boned.” If that’s what you really believe you’ve taken away your own God given power to transform your body and your life.

Having a limiting belief is not the end of the world. You can change your beliefs. You can reprogram your mind to believe empowering thoughts about yourself and your life. It’s been done many times before. People who have had limiting beliefs around money are now millionaires. People who have had limiting beliefs around men are now happily married. They’ve learn to shift their beliefs and as a result opened themselves up to receiving that which they really wanted.

The problem is when people don’t realize or believe that their belief system is holding them back. After all, you can’t change what you don’t acknowledge. For most people their limiting beliefs are as real to them as their eye color. Like they know that their eyes are brown with no dispute they know that the forces holding them back are beyond their control. If you try to convince them otherwise you’re bound to lose.

At one time or another we were all like that. I was. I didn’t realize my beliefs about the world and myself were keeping me stuck. I didn’t realize I was the only thing in my way. I was lucky though. I started to invest in my personal growth. Truthfully, I wanted more for my life. I was in a job I didn’t like and I felt stuck. I literally could not pay anyone to respond to my job application. And I was a smart and talented professional if I must say so myself.

My friends and colleagues would act like I was crazy to be dissatisfied. I was in my twenty’s making six figures, traveling the world. How dare I feel in the dumps? How dare I not be content? Don’t I know how many people would love to be in my shoes? (Another limiting belief).

During this time my bosses at work changed my role without even discussing it with me.

I was livid. “You don’t get to choose my career for me. You don’t define who am I. I do.” That’s what I thought. I was unhappy and it showed. I wanted to move on. Find another job. My leaders caught on and gave me a bonus of half my salary. I was even more livid! “You can’t buy me off!”

I needed to be who am I. I needed to live the life I wanted to live. I needed to perform the work I wanted to perform.

In hindsight, that time in my life was a blessing. I purchased my first two investment properties with that bonus. It was also at this time that I started focusing on growing me. Up until this point I thought corporate America was a lifelong journey for me. All the sudden I knew it couldn’t be.

I started studying the works of Jim Rohn, Brian Tracy, Les Brown, and Tony Robbins. I started growing me.

And I realized I was carrying around a set of limiting beliefs that were preventing me from living my dream life. Things like, “If I make more money than other people I’m greedy” and “People are always looking for an opportunity to judge you.”

Can you see how those beliefs were holding me back?

I never wanted to be seen. I never raised my hand in class even when I knew the answer. “I can’t be the center of attention. People will just judge me.”

“I can’t have wealth. I better play it safe. I don’t want to be greedy. I have enough already.”

Limiting beliefs costs you something. My limiting beliefs cost me opportunities, relationships, and wealth. When you come to a place where you no longer want to pay the cost to hold on to those beliefs your world changes.

You start to acknowledge that maybe what you’ve believed for so long isn’t the truth. Maybe there is something else to believe in. Maybe there is more to life than what you currently know. Now, you’re ready to change. Now you’re ready to shift your mindset. When this happens, magic happens.

As long as you believe that you don’t have any limiting beliefs you stay stuck. You’re biggest limiting belief is that you don’t have any. I challenge you to acknowledge that there are some beliefs that you are carrying around with you that are holding you back. Just start by asking yourself some questions:

  • Why don’t I have what I want to have?
  • Why am I not where I want to be?
  • Why am I settling for less than I deserve?
  • Why don’t I make more money?
  • Why am I not a healthier weight?
  • Why am I in an unfulfilling relationship?
  • Why am I unhappy?
  • Why am I letting this person use me?

If you answered anything other than “because I choose to” or “because I haven’t made an effort to change” you probably answered with a limiting belief.

What are some of your limiting beliefs? How are they holding you back? What is it costing you to carry this story around with you? How can you switch your limiting beliefs to empowering beliefs? What can you believe instead?

These aren’t just questions on a blog post. I really want you to reflect on them. Be honest with yourself. The key to transforming your life is in the answers to these questions. Don’t skimp out on this inner work. In the words of Iyanla Vanzant, “You have to do your work.” (If you want to create change in your life). Write down your answers if you need to.

Ready to make a mindshift? Let’s talk. Sign up for a complimentary, private Transform Your Life clarity call with me. Reserve your spot at www.transformwithcharlene.com.