FCTB026: How Your Personal Growth Influences Your Spiritual Growth and Vice Versa

If you’ve been following From Butterflies To Caterpillars for some time, you’d know that I advocate growth. I also believe that personal growth and how we live our lives is an extension of our spirituality. Personally, I find that the work I’m doing improving myself and helping others achieve personal growth serves a broader purpose and benefit the spiritual life.

 Faith without works is dead. James 2:20

I discuss why is it so, the different areas of our life that need growth, and how lacking in just one of these areas can stall our potential for success. The relationship between these facets of our life is the core of today’s episode and is what I will be expounding on today. Some of the points I raised on this episode are:

  • How difficulties in our lives prevent us from experiencing God and practicing our spirituality, and how our initiatives to overcome difficulties and grow on a personal level positions us to grow spiritually too (1:18).
  • The fruit of the spirit that help with our spirituality and how allowing these same fruits to transcend the other facets of our lives will translate and manifest into our visions and goals (3:10).
  • A story I’ve encountered recently that illustrates how one’s spirituality influences the principles which with you live your life with and experiences you go through (3:45).
  • My experience fueled by a worship song that put into words peoples’ journey, how growth and faith plays a big role as we traverse the great unknown, and in return how the journey brings us even closer to God (4:48; 8:18).
  • How focusing on fears and limitations keep us from going out in the water which can easily be aided through a growth mindset that goes beyond these, surpassing who we are and what we’re capable of (7:57).
  • The reason why our gifts and talents shouldn’t be hidden and must be used and shared with others as shown in the Parable of Talents (9:11).
  • What we should do in the instance that we are called to use our gifts but lacked the knowledge and confidence (13:00).
  • The three areas of our life that we must constantly work on and keep updated (15:10).
  • A story of how my faith was tested when I delved on real estate investing with my family (17:18).
  • An apparent discrepancy I noticed attending events over the number of people interested in growing spiritually, personally and technically (19:37).
  • The importance of people’s growth on the three areas of life intertwining making them unstoppable (21:20)

Grow in multiple facets. Multiply your talents. Learn the technical know-how. Be driven by personal growth. Worship and grow in your faith. Combine and intertwine them – then you will be unstoppable. Go be unstoppable. Go walk on water.

Growth is a cycle of learning, mastery and transcending into a higher level of even more learning. My challenge to you as I end this episode is to create a lifestyle where you’re always embracing growth.

Relevant Links:
The Truth About Purpose | From Caterpillars to Butterflies 

Oceans by Hillsong United | Spotify

The Parable of Talents | Bible Gateway

I appreciate the time you take listening and the support you’ve given to the show. Subscribe to From Butterflies to Caterpillars on Patreon to get first dibs to episodes and other perks. You can also find the show on iTunes, Soundcloud, Stitcher, GooglePlay, and Podbean. Remember to leave the podcast a rating and review on the platform you’re listening to. This allows us to reach more people and move up the rankings.

I hope you learned a key takeaway or two today. If you have feedback or questions, I want to hear from you! Give me a shout out through the comments or by dropping me an email at charlene@fromcaterpillarstobutterflies.com. Let’s chat and see if we can work together on your personal and spiritual growth. If what you listened to today has been useful for you, feel free to share it with other too.

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Always said that personal growth is intertwined with spiritual.

Work I do in personal growth serves a broader purpose and benefit in spiritual.

1:18 When someone is down they’re gonna have a hard time experiencing God and resting in his presence as there are things suppressing their spiritual awareness.

1:48 As you grow personally, you can position yourself to grow spiritually as well, and vice versa.

2:36 When you’re in a funk, insecure, or unworthy, then spirituality will be difficult. As you grow as a person, you also develop as a spiritual being.

3:10 The fruits of the spirit:  love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control

As you grow spiritual, these same fruits will manifest and translate in your life and goals.

3:45 Story online – book kept her marriage together by agreeing to an open marriage.

4:29 Spirituality influences the principles you live your life with and the experiences you go through.

4:48 Plane to San Diego, tarmac in Houston. Stirred up with a song by Hillsong United

5:41 I’ve been in a similar journey into the great unknown as the one being described in the song

6:09 A lot of times we’re reluctant, we not know enough, not skilled enough – this is the reason we need to grow into our purpose and our gifts. Through growth we’ll learn and be ready until the realization of our vision comes and happens.

7:57 We’re not going out to the water. Too focused on who or what we’re not, we don’t have and incapable of. Growth mindset goes beyond what we’re not and what we can’t, instead it transcends so we are and we’re capable.

8:18 “There I find You”. You find god in the midst of your calling and spiritual gifts. Helps you increase your faith.

9:11 your gifts aren’t for you, it shouldn’t be hidden – it is meant to be shared with others.

9:48 Parable of talents.

11:31 Burying our talents – we don’t wanna lose in the process, we think it is safer, too afraid to walk out into the great unknown. Living cautiously is criminal.

12:44 Not using your talents – thrown into darkness, despair, unhappiness.

13:00 Called to use our gifts but if we lacked knowledge, confidence, skill set, it is upon us to learn it. If you don’t use what you have you won’t be getting more.

14:39 How many times we have let go of something that would’ve been a gift because we are unwilling to hrow?

15:10 We know we’re supposed to grow and keep ourselves updated constantly.

16:35 As you grow personally it positions you to grow spiritually.

Personal, spiritual, technical growth together

17:18 Started investing in real estate, family joined me and we worked on a property together.

18:53 You may have the faith to get there, but will you have the faith to stay there? No, you need to grow.

19:37 Tony Robbins event. 9k people. Few black people. The same venue with a bishop, packed with black people.

21:20 Faith without works is dead. But if you’re too paralyzed or undisciplined to work, then you’re not gonna bring about what you’re having faith for.


FCTB010: How To Get Unstuck

I don’t know if there’s a statement I hear more often than, “I feel so stuck.”

On today’s episode, we deal further with executing our goals and visions. Last week’s topic was about grit, a key element towards success. We all try to make progress towards our goals, work on our personal growth and persevere passionately with whatever it is we want to attain in life. But there are just some moments when we can’t help but feel stuck.

Working as a life coach, this is a recurring theme I hear from women. They report dealing with times in their lives that they cannot just move forward due to various reasons. I myself also am not immune to moments like this, I know that it can get discouraging.  It is these experiences that helped me come up with my tips on how to get unstuck.

Feeling stuck can lead to frustration, discouragement, and even depression. Wanting more for your life and believing that there is nothing you can do to improve your situation is heartbreaking. But, we don’t have to stay in a state of “stuckness”. Nor do we have to believe that we’re dis-empowered or that our progress is dependent on someone else. You can get unstuck and find the freedom you most desire. This episode will teach you how.

Learn 7 specific strategies you can leverage to get unstuck in your life. Create the freedom you desire, remove the roadblocks you face, and stop waiting on situations to loosen their grasps on you. You are empowered to get unstuck for yourself. Go from feeling stuck to feeling free so you can live your best life.

My personal belief is that we all can create the life we want and it is truly heartbreaking for me to hear people saying they are stuck, and that is why I will share with you these 7 strategies to employ should you feel stuck on today’s episode. Hear about:

  • My first method to relieve feelings of being stuck is to do what you can, we often think we’ve exhausted our options but there is always something else you can do, someone you can call to turn things around (3:02).
  • Two stories when I dealt with feelings of being stuck. One of which was a time in my life when I was fired, had been waiting anxiously to get my next job offer (4:34); another is a project that was supposedly to be turned over to me, yet another person is not quite ready to relinquish ownership of the responsibility (6:45), and what I did to relieve myself of anxiety and get myself unstuck in both of those situations.
  • My second technique to get unstuck is managing risks, setting a personal threshold on how much you can handle, and acknowledging risk tolerance level is unique for every individual (10:01). I also share how I apply this principle in real estate investing (10:10).
  • Which areas of your life do you feel stuck in? I provide examples of how to work around these situations (13:21).
  • My third tip to unstuck ourselves is to be willing to ask for help and accept help; acknowledge you need help and know that it’s okay (14:50).
  • The fourth strategy to deal with feeling stuck is to grow, something that I couldn’t have reiterated in my podcast and blog more – we all can have anything we want in life if we are willing to grow – to get to the next level, you need to grow (16:34).
  • And my last tip is to just trust yourself – that you can make the right decisions, and take the right risks – however small or big these are (17:44).
  • 2 more methods I included are based on Valorie Burton, which will supplement the ones I already provided (19:02) One of which is to drop toxic relationships – people feeding you with negative thoughts, not empowering you, or are just downright uninspiring (19:02), and to build your bank of evidence – which means to look back at times and the reasons why things worked out instead of focusing on why it won’t (21:02).

Resources:

If you want to read more about Valorie Burton’s other tips, you may check on these links:

Valorie Burton https://valorieburton.com/
Get Unstuck, Be Unstoppable: Step into the Amazing Life God Imagined for You by Valerie Burton

What did you think of this week’s episode? I’d love to hear from you and keep the conversation going by sharing your feedback/questions via the podcast comments or by emailing me directly at charlene@fromcaterpillarstobutterflies.com. If you found the lessons in this podcast useful, share it with your friends and colleagues too!

Thanks for listening and for the continuous support to the podcast. I’d appreciate if you can subscribe, give a rating and review to whatever platform you’re listening from. I’d love to hear your feedback too so we can improve the podcast further!  You can find the show on iTunes, Soundcloud, and Stitcher.  Additionally, we’re on Patreon. Sponsor us for additional resources to help you grow! You can also find me on social media, on FacebookInstagram, and Twitter.


Where Happiness Shall Be Found

Everybody wants the same thing. To be happy. We think we want different things and that causes conflict at times. Furthermore, we think happiness lies in places it cannot be found. Nonetheless, we all just want to be happy.

The mystery is how we get there. It seems like this elusive thing. No matter how fast or long we chase it, happiness can be fleeting. We’ve been playing a game of cat and mouse with happiness. It keeps us wondering, “who moved my cheese?” Or more like, “who moved my happiness?”

But happiness isn’t what we think it is. It never has been. Somehow it got muddied and masked or disguised in this other thing that looks just like it. Somehow happiness started to look like perfection or possessions or “I’m doing better than you”-ness. Somehow we got lost in the search for happiness. It is time to finally be found.

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My belief is that happiness is a state of mind. It originates from within. It is not something you can buy or steal. No one can move your happiness. It comes from you and it consists of two things.

The first being contentment. Contentment says I am satisfied and dare I say proud of where I am today. Everything is not perfect. I haven’t acquired all the things I want. I haven’t met the love of my life or started an adorable family of my own. I didn’t get that big promotion or take an adventurous trip to South Africa. My past – well, it isn’t perfect either. I’ve dated some guys I shouldn’t have. I’ve put up with things I’m embarrassed to admit. I’ve made dumb mistakes. I’ve lost friends. I’ve wasted thousands of dollars. I’ve been picked on, laughed at, and discounted more times than I can count. However, I am content in this moment.

The second component of happiness is confidence in the future. I know what I want. I know where I want to be and I’m taking steps today to create the future I desire. I am confident, in due time, if I stay the course my future will be more than I can ask or think. I believe in God, I believe in myself, and I believe in my future. When you’re content with and can acknowledge how far you’ve made it, you have stronger faith in how far you can go.

That’s it. Contentment and confidence.

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The problem is most people are not content. They are too broken to be content. The truth is we are all broken this side of heaven. Some more than others. Some of us are broken in ways that make contentment and therefore happiness impossible. So we run around chasing the appearance of happiness. We try to fill the holes and cracks with artificial happiness, but it’s really just a distraction.

Broken parts need to be healed, but we’re afraid to heal. We’re afraid of the cast. It’s too big and noticeable so we reach for a band aid. Band aids can’t heal bones and they can’t heal your soul.

We’re afraid to admit we’re broken as if it were a secret. Our minds tell us no one notices but us. That’s  just a lie. They notice. They’re just too afraid to tell us, because they don’t want to hurt our feelings. We’re already broken, insecure, and spiritually damaged enough. They don’t want to make it worse, but where’s the healing in that? Perhaps, they’re too broken themselves.

Everybody wants to get to happy, yet we’re too afraid to heal. But why? We are placed on this earth for the purpose of growing. And isn’t that the beauty of life? That you can begin life one way and end another? Everybody loves a rags to riches story, but we’re too afraid to create our own story. We walk around saying, “What rags?”

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I am a little obsessed with caterpillars and butterflies. What a wonderful example they serve to us. Just like the caterpillar transforms into the butterfly we’re designed to transform too. We’re not meant to stay the same. We’re not meant to stay broken and discontent and unhappy.

Maya Angelou so famously said, “We delight in the beauty of the butterfly but rarely admit the changes it had to go through to achieve that beauty.”

We’re just hoping we can find happiness without our participation. We want so badly for happiness to be found outside ourselves. That would let us off the hook. Growth is scary. At the same time the scary thing is often the thing that’s worth it.

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Caterpillars have it better than you and I when it comes to growth and transformation. They don’t concern themselves with the outside world. In fact, I imagine that they can’t. They just follow their instincts. I’m pretty sure the caterpillar doesn’t have little friends to tell her it’s time to build her cocoon. She just instinctively knows that her future is dependent on her willingness to grow. On her willingness to be afraid. On her willingness to take a chance.

It is my intention to share that truth as far and as wide as possible. Your future is dependent on your willingness to grow. Your happiness is waiting on your healing. Once you’ve healed in ways you never thought possible you’ll look back on how far you’ve come and you’ll know that the future is your oyster.

And that is where happiness shall be found.


6 Deadly Habits that Will Halt Your Transformation

We’re at the end of February. For a lot of people those exciting, ambitious resolutions made January 1st are long gone. I’m a big fan of annual resolutions or goals. It’s so important to know where you want to go and how you plan to get there. But let’s face it. We call have habits that get in the way of accomplishing our dreams. And you know the saying, “old habits die hard.” If you want to accomplish your goals, you must master your habits. What habits? These habits. Find out about the 12 deadly habits that will halt your transformation below:

  1. Being on Autopilot Have you ever been on your way to work and thought, “Did I unplug the iron?!”We all have.We move through themotions of our regular activities without much thought or effort.  Our autopilot mechanisms actually serve a purpose.  They save us time and effort. Do we really did to be in deep, methodical concentration to tie our shoes? Probably not.  Once you learn how to, you forget you ever needed to learn. It’s so automatic.But when we put key activities and behaviors on autopilot it could mean the difference between experiencing a breakthrough transformation and staying in zombie mode.
  2. Indecisiveness Should I apply for this job? Should I buy a house or rent? I just can’t decide!Being indecisiveness means staying the same.  You’re not moving forward. You’re stuck because you won’t decide which path to take.Some decisions can have a monumental impact on our lives. We don’t want to make the wrong decision so sometimes we put off making a decision all together.  What we often don’t realize is that not making a decision is still a decision!You can’t make strides in your life by being indecisive.  Transforming yourself and your life is a decision.  Make yours today.
  3. Overthinking Overthinking causes unnecessary worry and generally makes things worse than they really are.Overthinking things is also one of the main causes of indecisiveness. Beyond that, overthinking can have you spinning too many wheels in too many directions.That lack of focus and clarity will definitely halt any transformational breakthrough you’re working towards.If you’re burdened by stress and worry you’ll have a hard time making sound decisions and implementing effective change.  If you are going in too many different directions you really aren’t going anywhere at all.You can’t experience transformation staying in the same place.
  4. Being Impatient Being impatient means you won’t invest the time and energy needed to manifest your breakthrough transformation.This is a common scenario for a lot of people – you want to lose weight. You give it everything you have for weeks.  The scale doesn’t budge. You quit.Or you start that dream business. Sales aren’t flooding it for months. You throw in the towel and stick with corporate.It doesn’t matter if it takes 10 months to lose 10 pounds.  You’ll still look and feel better. And it’s still a life changing experience even if your business doesn’t take off for 2 years.  It’s the business of your dreams after all!

     No amount of effort is adequate until it is effective. – Sybil Mobley

  5. Settling What gets in the way of a great life? A good one.Settling may seem like the opposite to number 4 – Impatience.  To clarify, being patient doesn’t mean settling. Being patient means waiting your due course.Settling  is saying, “I give up” and “I’ll just take what I can get.”You can’t lead a transformation in any area of your life talking like that.  You have to look good enough in the face and charge forward declaring, “I won’t settle until I get to great!”
  6. Lack of Self Awareness If you don’t know who you are and what you want you can make a lot of changes in your life but none of them will be the breakthrough transformation you’re yearning for.I call this the Same Script, Different Cast Lifestyle. You keep changing the people, places, and things in your life but the script is the same. As a result, nothing changes.What’s worse is if you don’t know yourself, you’ll create someone else’s dream life. Someone else’s dream relationship. Someone else’s dream career.You have to get really clear about who you are, what you value and what you want to create meaningful transformations that stick.

    The lack of self awareness is the thief of happiness. – Charlene Dior

    Once you learn to master these deadly habits you’ll find that creating meaningful change in your life will be easier. Want more deadly habits to be aware of? Download the free ebook 12 Deadly Habits that Will Halt Your Transformation.

IT Statement (Inspiring & Transformational)

I am changing my habits to change my life.

Tweet Your IT Statement


What I’m leaving behind in 2015

Things I'm leaving in 2015

The end of one year and the beginning of another is always a great time to reflect on life. 2015 has been a good year for me. I’ve explored new things, met new people and traveled a bit. I’ve also collected a ton of physical, emotional, and psychological “junk” throughout the year. There are things, people, and stories that cannot go with me into 2015. Here’s what I’m leaving behind in 2015.

  1. Unnecessary Junk – I’ve spent the last few days going through my house and getting rid of things I no longer need or use. The result has been less cluttered closets, pantries, and cabinets. I now stand in front of my kitchen pantry and I am amazed at how clean and organized it is. From tons of food that expired years ago to grocery bags and reusable bags stuffed wherever they would fit it was a mess! It is refreshing to walk through a space that is free from clutter. It just does something to you. Your psyche is improved. Your spirit is lifted. You are more aligned with your true self as you are not constantly distracted and overwhelmed with stuff. I’m leaving the unnecessary junk, the unworn clothes and the unused gadgets behind in 2015. I’m creating space in my house and in my mind for clarity. After all, a cluttered house is a cluttered mind.
  2. Self – Doubt – I’ve struggled with this for years although I’ve gotten better over time. *Writing and rewriting the same email, making sure it’s phrased just right, making sure I don’t look stupid. *Doubting my ideas and my opinions, thinking that I must have it 100% together before I say or do anything. *Doubting my progress and accomplishments. ALL THIS STOPS. Self doubt is like a prison cell that keeps you locked away from your dreams, your confidence, your happiness and your life. I don’t want to be a prisoner to my doubts anymore. I’m breaking loose!
  3. Letting the good get in the way of the great – A lot of times we settle for good enough. We don’t want to be greedy. “Nothing is ever perfect so why keep striving when what I have now is good? ” We stop short of great because this right here is good enough for us. In 2016, I am not settling for good when great is just as possible. Settling is staying in 2015.
  4. The people, events, and circumstances that didn’t turn out as expected – I will rerun an event in my head a million times. What they did. What I did. What I should have done. What I should have said. What I’ll say to them if I ever see them again (which never happens anyway). I think about the ex boyfriend who didn’t put in much effort past the first three months of our relationship. “Why couldn’t he just stay the same and be consistent?” I think about the boss who fired me (that witch) and that happened a long time ago!  Think about how much head space goes to events that are long over.  If it didn’t work, it just didn’t work out. There’s nothing wrong with that. Devoting ongoing time and energy on the things that didn’t work out is unwise. I’m clearing out the stories I have had running through my mind so that I have more mental space for ideas, planning, and personal growth.

What about you? What are you leaving behind in 2015? What things do you need to let go of so you can receive something new?


Do You Realize You Are Meant to Transform?

Transformation, Transform Your Life

You are meant to transform. It’s your purpose. Don’t stay the same. Transform.

I see so often people who are afraid to change. The reasons are numerous. I’ve been afraid to change at times as well. Staying the same is always easy, but it’s not what we are destined to do. We’re designed to grow and evolve just like the caterpillar transforms into a butterfly. The fear of change can be paralyzing to a lot of people. I’d argue the idea of staying the same is scarier.

A caterpillar spends its entire life preparing to be a butterfly. She eats all the time to ensure she can make it through the cocoon stage. The caterpillar instinctively knows she is capable of so much more than crawling among the dirt and she prepares for it. She knows her future is not her past. If God placed a caterpillar on this earth with the intention of becoming a butterfly I know He has a more beautiful transformation in store for us if we’d only appreciate our growth opportunities.

If the butterfly was born a butterfly I’m sure she would be just as beautiful, but the significance would disappear. Butterflies are one of the top designs for home decor, garden decor, clothing and accessories, tattoos, and jewelry. I believe to some extent this is because of what they represent – growth and transformation. A butterfly sends the message, “You don’t have to be the same person you were in the past. You can transform into a new person.”

If you’re Christian you can take a cue from the bible. It says in Romans 12:2, “Be ye transformed…” Again, I tell you, you’re not supposed to stay the same. You are meant to transform.

The seasons and the trees and the sky all know they must change. They don’t hesitate or resist. They just do. If spring didn’t transform into summer which then transforms into fall there would be nothing special about the trees or the sky or the seasons. In fact, there would be no seasons. There’s beauty in transformation. Instinctively we know that and we embrace it. We wait for the foliage of fall and the smell of Christmas. We anticipate the start of a new year or the transition from singleness to married life.

Transformation is natural. Deep inside we know this to be true, but mentally and emotionally we fight change and therefore growth relentlessly. We dig our heels into the ground and proclaim to stay right where we are. The unfortunate thing is that that’s not who we are created to be. We’re so against growth we at times avoid it at all cost. We’ll end a relationship or get a divorce because we didn’t want to grow. We’ll lose an opportunity or a job because we were afraid to change. We’ll miss out on amazing life experiences because we decided to stay the same.

Of course nobody says, “I got divorced or lost my job because I didn’t want to grow,” but for a lot of people that’s the case. We don’t want to grow past our past hurts and let downs. We don’t want to overcome pridefulness or insecurity.  We don’t want to forgive. We don’t want to transform our thoughts, beliefs, or behaviors. I’ve heard people say, “I was like this when they meet me/hired me/chose me, and I’m going to stay like this.” I think that is absolutely crazy!

Myths keeping us from transforming

We tend to have a lot of misconceptions and faulty beliefs about what it means to transform. These beliefs are holding us back from the growth that will usher us into the life we’ve always wanted to live. Here are some of the common myths dispelled by the truth about growth and transformation.

Myth: “I’ve gone so far down the wrong path it would take too long to come back and would not be possible or worth it.”

Truth: A lot of times people are afraid to move forward because of where they’ve been. The truth is, “It’s never too late to correct a mistake.” Who cares how long you lived the “wrong” life? It’s always possible to transform your life. Whenever you are truly ready, life is ready to support you through your transformation. If you lived 88 years down the wrong path and on your last day of life you lived your dream life wouldn’t that be worth it? Isn’t any amount of time living as your authentic self, loving the person you are and feeling comfortable in your own skin worth it?

Myth: “I don’t deserve better and no one is going to believe in me after the life I’ve lived.”

Truth: You always deserve better. You’re always worth it. It’s true some people may count you out, but don’t ever count yourself out. There will also be some people that life will place in your path just so they can believe in you and support you. If you haven’t found those people don’t fret. They will come. Until then, you believe in you.

Myth: “If I admit I have room to grow I’m admitting something is wrong with the current me. I can’t let people know I’m flawed.”

Truth: First off, there’s nothing wrong with you. Think about it. Is there anything wrong with being a caterpillar? Of course not. There’s nothing wrong with being a caterpillar. Caterpillars have a distinct purpose and role to play. There’s purpose in being a caterpillar. However, the destiny of a caterpillar is to become a butterfly. Similarly, there’s purpose in the life you’ve experienced thus far. It’s made you who you are. You’ve learned lessons and developed in ways that will serve you going forward. Acknowledging that you have areas to transform in your life doesn’t negate you or your worth. It only opens you up to so much more possibility. Secondly, everyone already knows you’re not perfect. No one is perfect. You can’t hide the fact that you have flaws or pretend them away. You can, however, own up to your flaws, accept them all and transform the ones you can.

Myth: “I have to know how things will end up before I commit to change.”

Truth: You will not know. You are not psychic. I get it. I have to tell myself that all the time. (Still to this day).

  • “I would get started if I knew how it would end.”
  • “I would invest in this program if I knew it would be worth it.”
  • “I would commit to this guy if I knew he was the one.”

Then I remind myself I do not know the future because I am not a psychic. Ultimately, I give myself permission to take a chance. If I wait until I know for sure I’ll be waiting forever.

The caterpillar doesn’t even know what’s in store for her. No one tells her to build a cocoon so she can become a butterfly. She just knows and she feels drawn to do something new. Her instincts tell her to build a cocoon. She could resist and fight it, kicking and screaming all the way in the opposite direction. She could say, “I’m too afraid. I don’t know what to expect. It’s too dark in there.” She could decide that the risk of the unknown is too high for her and that she’d rather just stay with what she knows. She could decide she prefers to crawl for the rest of her life. Thank God that’s not what she decides, because she shows us that we are meant to transform.

Final Thoughts

If a caterpillar never transformed into a butterfly we would think it unfortunate of that caterpillar. We would probably say she threw her life away and didn’t fulfill her potential or purpose. Could you imagine that? A caterpillar who decided not to become a butterfly. Think about what she would be forgoing! That’s how we tend to live our lives; missing out on our greatest potential. I believe the thing that holds us back in addition to the myths above is that we don’t know what we’re missing out on. We can look at the caterpillar and know that if she doesn’t embrace her transformation she would be missing out on flying. She would never be the adored butterfly we love so much. But you and I, we have no tangible idea of the person we’re keeping inside ourselves. We have no idea the life we’re holding hostage by our fear of change.  Maybe if we had a glimpse of the new woman and life waiting in the wings for us we wouldn’t be so afraid. Or maybe we just have to embrace the unknown, build that cocoon, and be surprised when it’s opened!

IT Statement (Inspiring & Transformational)

My growth is beautiful. I was designed to transform into my best self and I will.

Click here to Tweet your IT Statement


4 Steps to End the Year with a Bang

It's not too late to accomplish your goals.

Happy July!

We’re half way through the year. If you’re like most people (including myself at times) you dreamed of how this year would be different. You set amazing New Year’s Resolutions. You imagined how life would be different once you’ve accomplished your wildest dreams. You got off to an awesome start. You did your crunches, tracked your spending, studied your craft. And then you fell off. Completely. You told yourself you’d start back up again. “On Sunday I’m starting my diet again.” “Next week I’ll finish that project.” But somehow you just couldn’t manage to turn things back around. Soon you forget you were even working towards anything at all.

And then the process gets repeated the next year.

The new year is always a good time to reevaluate your life, your dreams, and map out how to get there. At the same time, any time is a good time to reevaluate your life, dreams, and how to get there. With six months left in the year here are 4 steps to help you end the year with a bang.

1. Reflect – Reflection is the precursor to self improvement. You have to know where you are, what led you there, and where you want to be. Once you have this basic understanding you’ll know what the gap between where you are and where you want to be looks like. You can then develop strategies to close that gap.

Ask yourself these questions to help with your reflection:

– What has worked well for me in the first 6 months of the year? Why?

– What has not worked so well for me in the first 6 months of the year? Why not?

– Where do I want to be?

– Where am I now?

2. Decide – After you’ve reflected on your current situation it’s time to decide what you really want to achieve in the next 6 months of year. In the last step you answered the question “Where do I want to be?” The answer to this question will help you in this step.

For example, let’s say you want to further your education and get a Master’s degree. You probably can’t get a Master’s degree in the next six months unless you already have some credits. So, instead you might decide your goal for the remainder of the year is to research and apply to various degree programs and to apply for financial aid.

3. Plan – “Fail to Plan, Plan to Fail”

You’ll need to establish a plan in advance. When we leave things up to chance chances are they won’t end up how we intended. If your goal is to lose weight, schedule your workout days on the calendar. Go ahead and do this for the next six months. Plan your meal strategy. Yes, you need a meal strategy. What types of food are you going to eat? How often? What’s your strategy for eating out with friends? When you plan in advance how you will handle certain things it’s easier to accomplish your goals. You don’t have to think about what to do next or what to eat. You already know, because you have a plan in place.

4. Act & Commit – Now it’s time to implement your plan. Follow through with your plan and when you fall off don’t stay off. Get back on. Stay committed to your plan.

There you have it. Follow these steps and watch your next six months end up better than your first six months of the year.

Need additional help? Get the Transform Your Year Planner – Six Month Edition


10 Transformational Quotes on Habits

Photo credit: 110pounds.com

Photo credit: 110pounds.com

Habits are a powerful thing.  We don’t even realize some of the habits we have until someone points them out to us.  That’s just how ingrained in us they are.  We are our habits and our habits are us. I believe some habits will keep us the same.  They’ll halt our transformation.  Then there’s a second set of habits that will supercharge our growth and transformation.  Obviously, supercharge habits are the ones we should all want to form.  Unfortunately, throughout life we’ll undoubtedly pick up the ones that halt our transformation as well.  The key to changing our habits is to first become aware and then to make the decision, backed by commitment to replace the bad habits with the good ones.

Below are my top 10 quotes on habits.  What quotes would you add? What habits do you struggle with the most? What habits are you most proud of?

1.   The habits that took years to build, don’t took a day to change. – Susan Powter

2.   We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then is not an act, but a habit. – Aristotle

3.   Breaking old habits and forming new ones always takes time, but it is worth it in the end. – Joyce Meyer

4.   Good habits are as addictive as bad habits, and a lot more rewarding. – Harvey MacKay

5.   You leave old habits behind by starting with the thought, “I release the need for this in my life.” – Dr. Wayne W. Dryer

6.   Good habits are worth being fanatical about. – John Irving

7.   Feeling sorry for yourself, and your present condition, is not only a waste of energy but the worst habit you can possibly have. – Dale Carnegie

8.   I am not a creature of habit. – Tony Visconti

9.   A nail is driven out by another nail. Habit is overcome by habit. – Desiderius Erasmus

10. To change bad habits we must study the habits of successful role models. – Jack Canfield

 

 


Transformational Tuesday: From goofy to debonair?

Jamies Foxx Transformation

Photo credit: xmfan.com and cinemagia.ro

Jamie Foxx has completely transformed himself.  Not just his look but his image and his career.  How does one experience a transformation from goofy comedian to debonair R&B singer and A-list actor? Keep on reading.

3 steps to a transformational breakthrough like Jamie Foxx:

1. Plant a seed

Even though Jamie Foxx was doing comedy we always knew the man could sing. He planted that seed over and over again on his show and in his comedy skits. When he finally made the leap to singer it came as no surprise.

If you’re in one place whether in terms of your career or another area of your life and you want to go in a different direction, start planting seeds. Let people know your interests and show them your talent.

2. Build a bridge

Jamie Foxx leveraged his football experience to get his breakout role in Any Given Sunday.  He then leveraged his musical talent in the film Ray.  If you’re trying to make a leap, build a bridge. Leverage experiences and skills you already have to get you to where you want to go.

3. Work really hard

This needs no explanation.  Jamie Foxx said he had to work really hard to get the role in Any Given Sunday. Transformation doesn’t come easy, but it’s worth it.

 


What Size is Your Pot?

Pot

 

I decided a few years ago I wanted to start a small garden. My backyard isn’t that big and I have a dog so I was looking for ways to grow a garden with limited space. I also wanted to plant a few fruit trees without them growing to be 20 feet tall! What I learned is that you can control the size of a plant by choosing where and how to plant it. If you plant a tree or plant in a pot instead of in the ground you automatically limit how much that plant can grow. The smaller the pot, the smaller the plant. The roots need space to spread and grow in order for the plant to reach it’s maximum height and width.

My gardening experience got me thinking we too can limit ourselves and others by planting them in small, confining pots. We can’t grow when we don’t have the space to spread, learn, and explore. What size is your pot? Are you enabling yourself to spread? Do you have enough room to grow? Or do you limit yourself by convincing yourself you can’t or shouldn’t try something?  Are you missing out on opportunities to learn and stretch yourself?\What about your family, your spouse and your children? Are they too confined to spread their roots? If you manage a team at work are you making sure your team has the freedom to move around? Or are you controlling them? Are you micromanaging your life and the life of those around you? Do you need a bigger pot?

In order to grow and transform it’s so important to make sure we’re planting ourselves and others in the right environment. We need room and space to grow our roots. The beautiful thing is that if and when you realize your plant needs more space to grow because it’s reached it’s growth potential in the pot it’s currently in you can always replant it in a larger pot. It’s not too late to course correct and provide more growing room.  Is there anything you need to replant in order to give it more to grow? How big is your pot?