FCTB015: What to Do When The Fantasy Dies

When we start anything in life – career, relationship, business, self-improvement program, there is a fantasy tied to it, something we look forward to which motivates and invigorates us. But there will be a time when the fantasy will die inevitably, and you’re not quite as driven anymore.

For someone like me who is driven by growth and purpose, I occasionally find myself feeling this and I need to re-evaluate if the fantasy and my efforts to achieve it are still worth pushing for. Sometimes the idea of the fantasy blurs our judgment and we are no longer grounded to what actually is in reality. I provided examples of moments when the fantasies died for me and how I responded to them.

Today’s episode is specifically devoted for such moments where you’re not quite sure anymore. Here are 6 techniques on what to do when you feel like the fantasy is dying or has already died.

• The first thing you can do upon getting the feeling that the fantasy is dying or has died, is to step back and re-evaluate if you still want it (3:38), this will enable you to assess and reflect so that you don’t spend time and effort only to realize at the end that you no longer want it (4:27).
• If you’ve concluded that you still want that fantasy, review your timelines, sometimes we under- or overestimate the timelines, giving us a skewed perception of the fantasy vis-à-vis the reality. Adjust and reset the timeline as needed so the fantasy becomes possible in reality (5:37).
• If the reason the fantasy is dying is because of challenges, navigate your way around these obstacles. We often view obstacles as signs that something is not meant to be, or we should stop. Don’t shut down, it could just be minor setbacks. Instead, you should reprogram your mind to come up with alternative solutions working around the obstacles (7:07).
• Stay on the course even if the fantasy dies. If you still want it enough, keep on going and stay committed, this will give you clarity on the course you want to take (11:10).
• “Faith is taking the first step even when you can’t see the whole staircase” – Martin Luther King Jr.
• Take a break if the fantasy died but you still want to push through. Step back, take a break, breathe, until you get your footing again (14:18).
• Look for inspiration. I personally attend seminars and events because it is a good source of inspiration. If the system that you currently do or use is not working as expected, seeking for other resources and looking for inspiration ought to get that motivation up again (15:17).
• I also highly recommend journaling as a way of weeding out the noise from my real objectives. When I am at a loss of clarity, and my fantasy is dying, I journal on what I really want to put things back in perspective as it helps me get back to the drawing table and start over (18:46).

Some of our fantasies are meant to be nothing but mere fantasies. But some of them we want enough that we need them to materialize into real life. It is important to reflect on these so we have better clarity as to what we really want with our lives. I hope that this episode can help you get re-motivated or if not, let go of things that are not meant to be.

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