I’ve come across this quote several times on social media, “Distance doesn’t ruin relationships. Doubts do.”
That may be technically true, but distance creates doubts. So if distance creates doubts and doubts ruin relationships then in essence distance ruins relationships.
This quote is about romantic relationships, but the principal is true for the relationship you have with your vision. Distance doesn’t ruin dreams. Doubts do. But distance creates doubts. So if you want to accomplish your dreams you have to manage and circumvent your doubts. There are two types of distance that can create doubt and ruin your dreams.
Physical / Linear Distance
The quote above is generally speaking about long distance romantic relationships. When there are a lot of miles between you and your significant others problems can arise. It’s hard to maintain these types of relationships.
In terms of your dreams the same concept is true. The longer you have to travel to get to your vision the more doubts you are likely to have. If you want to lose 100 pounds that can seem daunting and nearly impossible. If you have ten pounds to lose you may be pretty confident you can get there. If you want to earn a million dollars that can seem implausible. Earning six figures may not be.
The further away you are the more doubt you are likely to have. So what do you do when you have physical distance doubts to stop them from killing your dreams?
- You develop discipline. I’m in the midst of a Daily Discipline 31 Challenge as I write this. When you’re disciplined it doesn’t really matter what your doubts say. You’re not listening to them. You’re focused on the plan you laid out. If you work out everyday for a week and then you jump on the scale and it hasn’t moved you will likely be discouraged. Your doubts will be high, because despite your best efforts you haven’t gotten any closer to your dream. Your dream might end up on life support. But if you’re disciplined you give your dreams a fighting chance even when you feel doubt. Discipline gets dreams off of life support.
- The second thing you can do to keep your dreams alive is to stay close to them mentally, spiritually, and emotionally which brings me to the second type of distance.
Mental / Spiritual / Emotional Distance
It’s quite possible to live in the same house as someone and still experience distance. So a physical distance isn’t the only type of distance there is. We can be emotionally distant or mentally distant from our partners and from our dreams.
If you don’t get connected to your dreams often enough on a spiritual, emotional, and mental level your dreams can die. This means that you think about your dream often. You feel your dreams often. And you let your dreams permeate your soul often.
Here’s an example: I went to a conference hosted by a top coach. I like to stay close to my dreams even when I’m far away physically by attending live events. So I was at this event. It’s the last day. The host asks everyone who has invested in a private 1:1 personal development coaching package to come to the stage. The package was $1k more than my package with two fewer sessions. I’m sitting in my seat counting, “One, two, three, four, five.” A dozen men and women went to the stage. They believed in the value of coaching and were willing to invest their time and money to their growth.
What do you think that did to my doubts? It crushed them.
If I didn’t make it a point to stay close to my dreams I wouldn’t get the reinforcement that I need to keep going. I wouldn’t reaffirm to myself that this isn’t just a phase I’m going through. I wouldn’t be making a statement to anyone who is watching and God Himself that I’m committed.
You have to stay close to your dreams even when you’re far away. Here’s how:
- Be around people who are further along than you live and in person
- Be around people who are where you are
- Read books or inspirational stories
- Listen to podcasts (check our mine here From Caterpillars to Butterflies personal growth podcast)
- Journal on your dreams
- Pray about your dreams
- Meditate on your dreams
- Bring your dreams to life. Tour your dream house. Test drive your dream car.
Do whatever you need to do to keep your dream alive inside your spirit. Stay close to your dream spiritually, mentally, and emotionally while you practice discipline to get you to your dream physically.
Distance kills dreams so stay close to your vision and in due time you will get there.