1. You don’t know what you want
You don’t know what you care about. You don’t know what your goals are. You don’t know where you want to go. You don’t know what you enjoy. If you find it hard to create a clear vision for your future it’s likely that you don’t know who you are. You may even have limiting beliefs around what you deserve or what is possible for you. You may be afraid to dream.
2. You change your mind a lot
This goes along with #1. You don’t know what you want so you change your mind a lot. One day you’re pursing one thing. The next day you’re pursing something else. One day you’re interested in one thing or one person. The next day you’re interested in something or someone completely different. You can’t stay the course with anything. You constantly change your mind.
3. You have a lot of regrets
When you know who you are and what you stand for you make decisions that align with the real you. You can stand by the decisions that you have made. Your authentic self always has your best interest at heart. If you’re doing and saying a lot things that cause you a lot of regret you don’t know who you are.
4. You’re different around different people
Of course, we all have relationships that bring out different sides of us. We also know when certain aspects of ourselves may not be appropriate. When in Rome do as the Romans. However, if your values and beliefs are changing depending on who you are around, you don’t know who you are. You’re not confident in who you are.
5. Your outer world doesn’t match your inner world
Have you ever felt like people didn’t see you for who you really are? In your head you’re one way, but to the outside world you’re another? Sometimes it could be them. Other times it is because there’s a mismatch between how you present yourself to the world and who you actually believe yourself to be.
6. You settle
When you know who you are you know what you want. You know what you deserve and you’re unwilling to take less than what you deserve. If you don’t know who you are you don’t know your birthright. You don’t require a certain level of respect and honor. You settle for whatever you can get. You settle for what is easy.
7. You lack confidence
When you know who you are and you love that person you can stand in your authentic power. You can hold your head high and all of life responds to you. When you know who you are you show up in the world the way that you want to. When you don’t know who you are you are constantly unsure of yourself and your abilities. You have no confidence. You have no self belief. How can you have confidence in someone you don’t know? How can you trust her?
8. There’s a lot of drama and chaos in your life
I believe that drama is a distraction. When people don’t want to face certain things they create or entertain drama to distract them from what is really going. If you’re distracting yourself or allowing yourself to be distracted you’re hiding from something. If you’re hiding from something you don’t fully know who you are.
This might look like have feelings of insecurity around a certain person and being mean and snarky to her. It might look like always sitting around and talking bad about other people. It might be getting in and out of bad relationships or being promiscuous.
9. You lack fulfillment and satisfaction
No matter what is going on in life the person that knows who they are always has some level of fulfillment and satisfaction. They may be striving for more. The may be facing an obstacle but they still experience an overarching feeling of fulfillment and satisfaction in life.
If you never feel fulfilled or satisfied you don’t know who are you. Or you’re not confident enough in who you are. If you knew what would fulfill you wouldn’t you go do it? If you knew how to satisfy yourself wouldn’t you create the experiences that would lead you to that satisfaction? You wouldn’t be dissatisfied and not do anything about it, right? That is unless you had no idea what to do about it, because you didn’t have a strong sense of self.
10. You ask yourself “Who am I?”
No explanation is needed. Sometimes you don’t need a quiz or a blog or a coach to tell you that you don’t know who you are. You have already reached that understanding for yourself. You have already discovered that you keep finding yourself in situations with people that just don’t feel right. Something always feels off. You’ve realized you’re not in alignment. You wonder who you really are and how to create that alignment between who you are, what you do, who you surround yourself with, and the life you live.
Starting to think you don’t know who you are?
It’s so important to know who you are. That’s how you create a life that is fulfilling, peaceful, and full of joy. That’s how you find your purpose. That’s how to engage in productive activities and build fulfilling, sustainable relationships. Knowing who you are is the first step to “manifesting” what you want.
Discovering who you are isn’t something that is done by accident. It’s journey we all have to take. It’s worth it. Finding out who I, Charlene, am has changed my life. It has changed my relationships. It has changed my spirituality. I feel confident. I feel secure. I love harder. I am more open. I go after what I want from real estate investing to traveling to mission work. I go for it. I support others – even “competitors” – because I know who I am. I’m not threatened. I believe in myself. I believe in my God. I trust myself. Beyond that I love myself.
There is just nothing as soul-stirring, earth shattering and life changing as discovering and loving who you are. My cup literally runs over. I wish I could take the joy and fulfillment bubbling in my heart right now and send to everyone reading this. When I say there is a special power in knowing who you are I mean it so much. It’s the greatest gift we can give to ourselves, our loved ones, and to life itself.
If you don’t know who you are you aren’t living your highest vision or your highest purpose. You cannot afford to keep walking through the earth as somebody else. You can’t keep wearing that mask. You can’t keeping being nobody. It’s time to stand up as the woman that you really are. It’s time to break out of your cocoon. It’s time to get your wings.
Take the first step and sign up for a complimentary Rediscover You clarity session with me. Sign up at http://www.transformwithcharlene.com today.