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101 Questions to Ask Yourself When You're Confused About Life « Personal Growth Blog and Coaching for Black Women

101 Questions to Ask Yourself When You’re Confused About Life

At some point we all wonder what we’re doing with our lives. When things don’t turn out right or we simply can’t see the purpose and meaning in day to day life we start to wonder what the point is. Life can be confusing. Am I supposed to just work, go home, watch television, eat and then die?

Is this really all there is?!

Others wonder if they’re doing the “right” thing. Their schedules are jammed packed with meaningful activities like charity and yoga, but do those activities mean anything to them? They wonder if this is really how they want to spend their life. They wonder if they’re on purpose.

This generation more than any is starved for purpose and fulfillment. We talk about it all the time. We read books like The Purpose Driven Life and Finding Your Life’s Purpose. I talk to women during our coaching sessions and 90% say some variation of, “I want to know your purpose.”

They feel as though their purpose has eluded them because life has to be more than what they know it to be. It’s their biggest fear to leave this planet and never have true experienced what it means to live in their purpose.

It’s honestly one of my biggest fears as well. If I die tomorrow what did I do? What did I accomplish? How did I spend your time? Perhaps if I had children I might be able to say I raise my kids. They needed me. I might be able to look at them and see a purpose well lived.

But I don’t so I can’t.

Maybe if I led a worthy cause they changed millions of lives I would believe that my time on earth was well spent.

But I haven’t done that either.

In essence, you might start to question life when life doesn’t oblige to your expectations and desires. Doors keep getting closed in your face. Prayers don’t come true. What happened to the WHOLE universe conspiring to help you achieve your dreams thing? Universe you can conspire any day now.

(Need help achieving your BIG life goals? You don’t want to miss my 3 part series on achieving goals…when you’re done here. Part 1: How to Achieve Your Goals and Dreams | Part 2: How to Really Reach Your Goals in Life |Part 3: Tools and Resources to Help You Achieve Your Goals)

You may just be confused about what to do or which way to turn. You start questioning life seeking clarity. When you question life you wonder what is life doing? Where is it? What’s the point of it all (especially if your dreams can’t come true)? You might wonder if what you know is all you’ll ever know about life and that can be depressing.

No, it’s not. What you know now isn’t all you’ll ever know about life.

I have my own beliefs about what life is. I won’t tell you, because I’m about to ask you what your beliefs are and I want you to speak from your own soul. But it’s those beliefs that I hold on to when I can’t make sense of much else.

When we get to the point where we start questioning life we’re often misguided. We should be questioning ourselves, because we are life. Yet, I believe most people rarely search inside themselves for their answers. Everyone isn’t introspective by nature. But everyone should make it a point to sit down with their thoughts and their questions and be prepared to respond with their own answers.

Here’s your opportunity to do just that. Dig inside yourself for your truth.

Here are 101 questions to ask yourself when you’re confused about life:

  1. What do you believe?
  2. Why do you believe what you believe?
  3. Who else believes what you believe?
  4. How would your life be different if you had a new belief?
  5. What do you want to believe?

Your beliefs shape your world. Yet your beliefs were in part shaped by your parents, friends, teachers, etc. You may not even realize what beliefs you have that are directing your life. Some of your beliefs could be outdated. Some of your beliefs were simply passed down to you and you never questioned where they came from.

(Struggling with limiting beliefs? Read up on How to Overcome Your Limiting Beliefs.)

  1. What does life mean to you?
  2. What did life used to mean to you (if different)?
  3. What do you most want out of life?
  4. What do you most want to give to life?
  5. How do you want to feel about your life?

Life has a different meaning to all of us. We see it differently. We expect different things out of life. It’s important to know what life is to you. It’s also possible that what we feel towards life can change for the good or for the bad. If life broke your heart you may have turned cold toward life. Your attitude could be self defeating. Notice how your feelings about life change and what causes the change. Also notice how your desires change. If you have turned cold toward life you may no longer have high expectations. You might just want to “make it through”.

  1. Who is God?
  2. How do you know?
  3. What do you feel about God?
  4. When did you start feeling this way about God?
  5. How does God feel about you?
  6. How do you know?

A lot of what you feel and belief about life is based on your understanding of God. Do you believe God is for you? If you do then the way you process the difficult times will be more optimistic. Or maybe you believe God is punishing you? If that’s what you feel you will process life in a different capacity.

(Related: My Prayers to God for Transformation)

  1. Where are you currently in your life?
  2. How did you get here?
  3. Do you like it here?
  4. Why (or why not)?
  5. What do you do for work?
  6. Why are you doing the work you are currently doing?
  7. What does your work mean to you?
  8. Do you enjoy the work you are currently doing?
  9. How would your life be different if you wasn’t doing the work you are doing?
  10. If you had to choose different work what would you choose?

Knowing how you got to this point can help you move past this point. Whether you like where you are or not I’m pretty sure you don’t want to stay there forever. And what role does your job play in how you feel about this time in your life? Making a change here could make a big difference in your life.

  1. What do you do for fun?
  2. Who do you enjoy having fun with?
  3. When is the last time you had fun?
  4. What is your vision for the future?
  5. Where did that vision come from?
  6. Who is with you in the future?
  7. How will you get to where you want to be in the future?
  8. Are you working towards the vision? Why (or why not)?
  9. How will your life be different if you achieve your vision?
  10. How will your life be different if you don’t achieve your vision?

Knowing where you actually want to go is the key to getting there. Knowing who you enjoy being around is critical to building a life around people that you enjoy. Build your life with the people and the things that bring you joy.

  1. What are your strengths?
  2. What are your weaknesses?
  3. What are your values?
  4. What makes you happy?
  5. What makes you cry?
  6. What do you daydream about?
  7. What’s your biggest fear?
  8. Where did that fear come from?
  9. What do you think about your past?
  10. What do you think about your future?

Know who you are so you can leverage who you are. If you think you may not know who you really listen to this: How to Rediscover Who You Really Are.

  1. What brings you meaning and why?
  2. How often do you do things that bring you meaning?
  3. What’s your purpose?
  4. Do you even have a purpose?
  5. How do you know?
  6. What would it mean if you didn’t have a purpose?
  7. What do you want your purpose to be?
  8. Why are you alive?
  9. Are you really alive?
  10. In what ways are you alive?

These are the million dollar questions. At some point we don’t just want to have fun. At some point (perhaps this point in your life) we crave deeper meaning and deeper satisfaction. It goes beyond earning a living or fancy vacations. I think your soul starts to tug at you. These questions will help you understand which direction your soul is calling you to.

(Related: The Truth About Purpose)

  1. Who do you love and why?
  2. How do you know you love them?
  3. Who loves you and why?
  4. How do you know they love you?
  5. What do people say about you?
  6. What do you want them to say about you?
  7. What’s your secret dream?
  8. Why is it a secret?
  9. What makes you feel most in control?
  10. What makes you feel least in control?
  11. Are you in control?

  1. What are your dominant thoughts?
  2. How long have these been your dominant thoughts?
  3. Where did they come from?
  4. How would your life be different if you had different dominant thoughts?
  5. What’s holding you back?
  6. How can you stop it from holding you back?
  7. How would your life be different if you stop it from holding you back?
  8. How do you feel about yourself?
  9. Why do you feel that way?
  10. How would your life be different if you felt a different way about yourself?

Like your beliefs, your thoughts are directing your life. The dominant thoughts you have could have been planted in you years or even decades ago. If they don’t serve you you must replace them with new, empowering thoughts.

  1. What is life supposed to be?
  2. How do you know?
  3. Are you living up to the way life is supposed to be? Why (or why not)?
  4. Why are you questioning life?
  5. Does life question you? What does it ask?
  6. What do you want out of life?
  7. What does life want out of you?
  8. Who’s the most important person to you and why?
  9. Who do you look up to?
  10. Why do you look up to them?
  11. Does everything happen for a reason?
  12. How do you know?

Life asks us all a question. It puts us to the test. It wants to know that we are who we say we are and that we want what we say we want. Sometimes closed doors are questions. Do you really want this? How badly? What is life asking you?

Who influences you? Are you looking up to the right people? Do you even have someone to look up to? Make sure the people you admire are admirable. Watch the company you keep.

  1. What is your biggest achievement?
  2. What is your biggest failure?
  3. What do you want your legacy to be and why?
  4. What are you passionate about?
  5. Why are you passionate about that?
  6. What does the world need?
  7. Who’s going to give the world what it needs?
  8. What does your family need?
  9. Who’s going to give your family what they need?
  10. What does your community need?
  11. Who’s going to give your community what they need?
  12. What did you learn about yourself (if anything) by reflecting on these questions?

Purpose shows up in your passions and the needs you see. Your purpose and you’re willingness to live it out will shape your legacy.

Still confused? Apply for a Complimentary Clarity Session with Charlene! Click the image below:

This was actually a bit more than 101 questions if you count the questions between the questions. I like to over deliver. ? Hopefully, you learned something about yourself and your life by spending the time to reflect on these questions. The idea isn’t to stop here. What can you do with this new found self-knowledge? How can you take this and shift your perspective of your current situation? What can you do differently to create a life that makes you feel how you want to feel?

The idea is to get clarity on who you are and what you really want so you can stop being confused.

Life is what you make it. You take your beliefs (the empowering ones), your values, your strengths and your dreams and create something beautiful with it. If you feel that you are not currently creating a beautiful life for yourself and others you can change that.

Note: the process of creating a beautiful life is an ongoing process. It’s not necessarily where you are. It’s where you’re going. Progress makes like beautiful. In fact, your current situation may have at one time been beautiful to you. And now you’re questioning life. It’s time for you to start a new journey of self-discovery and creation.

Life is asking you, “What do you want and what are you willing to give for it?”

The ball is officially in your court. What are you going to do?

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confused about life, self reflection, self care

Charlene Dior

Blogger, author, podcast, investor, marketer, sister, daughter, pet mom, friend and Christian. Personal growth junkie who loves the idea that a caterpillar can transform into a butterfly! ? Grab my bestselling book From Caterpillar to Butterfly: Transform the Life You Have into the Life You Love on Amazon! Available in paperback or as an ebook.

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