You Are The Miracle

Waterfall in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico.

Sometimes it’s easy to get caught up in the gloom and doom of life. Turn on the TV or log into your favorite social media site and you are bound to see something horrific, unfortunate, and sad.

I happen to be super empathetic. It’s the blessing and the curse. When I see a heartbreaking disaster it weighs on me and has an adverse effect on my psyche. I try to avoid the news for that reason. If I want to live my life a certain way and achieve my dreams I have to protect my space. I have to preserve my peace of mind.

But I can’t completely avoid the news because bad news is sensationalized and travels fast. Someone is always sharing or reacting to an article I’d rather avoid and it shows up on my timeline. Or in the midst of casual conversation someone is guaranteed to ask, “Have you heard that story of such and such? It’s so sad.”

Yet, in all of the despair we are constantly exposed to we are living on a miracle. Who tells the waterfall to sparkle so majestically? And who tells rocks beneath the earth’s surface to color themselves in sapphire blues, emerald greens, and ruby reds? Likewise what beauty and wonder have my hands been equipped to create?

This earth is a miracle from corner to corner. That’s why I love traveling. Sometimes I just need to see a miracle, to know that life is beautiful and miraculous despite what the TV shows me. To know that the same Power that painted the oceans hues of magnificent blues and the sky rainbows of purples, pinks, and oranges handed me a paint brush of my own.

I too am the miracle. 

You are the miracle.

Miracles strengthen our beliefs and give us hope. When the impossible becomes the possible it sends the signal that every other hopeless situation can triumph. Every dead end can be maneuvered into a view that is breathtaking. Every dream can manifest into reality.

Knowing that we are surrounded by miracles every single day is empowering. There’s still hope for dreams tucked inside of hearts. There’s still possibility for lives who made regretful decisions in the past. There’s still a chance that impossibles can transform into possibles.

Knowing that the same Power that filled the earth with miracles from corner to corner created me is liberating. I am free to be, to believe, and to create. I too am the miracle. You are the miracle. The impossible can become the possible through me (and you). Miraculous works and wonders can come to life through me (and you). Ideas can be birthed. Dreams can be brought to life. The skyline of my life, my family, my generation can be painted with my brush (and yours).

I am the miracle.

You are the miracle.

When life gets you down or when something gloom and doom settles in your heart seek out the miracle. You won’t have to search long or far. Miracles are everywhere. They are a plane ride away, an internet search away, a phone call away, or a breath away. Miracles are simply a glance in the mirror away.

Yes, you are one of life’s miracles.

Google defines miracle as “a surprising and welcome event that is not explicable by natural or scientific laws and is therefore considered to be the work of a divine agency”

Is that not you? Is that not me?

I am the miracle.

You are the miracle.


FCTB029: Why It’s Important To Slow Down and Take A Break

This week’s episode is about the importance of slowing down and taking a break. Sometimes we wear being constantly busy as a badge of honor. But remaining busy for too long and not slowing down runs us all the risk of burning out.

At some point, busy-ness isn’t as productive as perceived. Turns. When this happens, it is best to step back, take a break and re-energize. I’d like to compare our productivity and sanity to working out and muscle-building where rest is just as critical of a component to make it effective.

I will not be doing podcasts for a whole month, as I go on a break. I will be going on a vacation, to slow down and focus on an exciting project that you’ll hear about on this episode.

Today, I devoted the podcast to discuss the Why and How of slowing down and taking breaks.

Reasons to Slow Down:

  • It allows us to re-calibrate and deal with things from a new perspective, and an example of when the simplest fatigue gets to me (6:21).
  • Allows for personal reflection of our circumstances and needs and a story that illustrates how busy-ness preoccupies us from doing so (8:00).
  • Slowing down and taking a break lets us pay attention to certain facets of our lives to maintain balance (9:25).
  • Resting and taking breaks prevents us from constantly being in our heads, doing or thinking about something instead of being present and just enjoying the moment (10:43).
  • Stepping back permits us to be more effective, especially with routine or repeated tasks, and come up with a system or process to make things more efficient (11:44).

How to Slow Down?

  • Just take a break – it can be for a couple of minutes, days, or weeks (13:17).
  • Take vacations and step away from your daily routine (13:58).
  • Turn things down and say no when you have too much on your plate (14:23).
  • Give yourself more time to accomplish things, everything doesn’t have to be done right now (14:50).
  • Be an MVP – Minimally Viable Product – this isn’t necessarily the best, greatest, top of the line product, but it’s the one that gets the job done and keep things afloat (16:01).

It is often perceived that by taking breaks we lose time, when actually we’re gaining more time by doing so. I hope that this episode gives you something to ponder on especially if you’re always on-the-go.

Give yourself a break, breathe, and maybe be an MVP.

If you’re having serious withdrawal, you can find me on the blog and all over social media.

Subscribe to the podcast via Patreon for other exclusive content and other perks. You can also find the show on iTunesSoundcloudStitcherGooglePlay, and Podbean. Remember to leave the podcast a rating and review on the platform you’re listening to so we can reach more people and move up the rankings.

 

 


Breakthroughs Out Loud From Lisa Nichols & Team

A few weeks ago I attended Speak and Write  To Make Millions hosted by Lisa Nichols and Susie Carder. I know several people who have attended in the past. I actually participated via live stream a few years ago. I was traveling that weekend so I didn’t participate live. I watched the replay. Anyway, everyone kept telling me how insane it was. “The days are long. Everyone cries. The event is amazing. You have to go in person.”

While I didn’t cry, the days are long (the introvert in me dipped out early the first night) and the event is awesome. I learned a lot. I made a lot of great connections and relationships. And it was in San Diego. What more can I say? Here are some of my breakthroughs out loud (BOLs) as Lisa would call them:

Be committed to your vision

When you’re not committed you wonder, “What if?” What if it doesn’t work? What if I don’t have what it takes? What if it’s not my purpose or what God wants me to do? Women say to me all the time, “I don’t know what my purpose is.” I’ve always believed that they know their purpose. It’s not hiding from them. Now I realize it’s likely that they’re just not committed to their purpose.

When you become non-negotiable about your vision you’re not worried out that thing. That thing is worried about you. Non-negotiable means moving everything else off the table.

Be enough for yourself

You don’t have to be everything to everyone. Just be enough for yourself. We think we have to be superman or superwoman to everyone in our lives. That’s simply not true. We just have to be enough for ourselves. We just have to like ourselves. The whole world doesn’t have to like us and they won’t. Sometimes we’re trying to be everything to everyone except ourselves. Sometimes there’s pressure to be someone else’s rescue or to accomplish their goals for them.

My sister went to Kentucky a few years ago to visit. She gave our dad a $100. I went to Kentucky a few weeks after she did. I gave our dad $0. Now if he would have asked or said that he needed financial support I would without hesitation give whatever I had to give. He didn’t and I didn’t. My dad made a comment to my sister, “Charlene never does stuff like this.” As in give money.

In the back of my head I felt bothered by the statement. (1) because I give a lot to my family. I’ve paid for vacations, medical bills, and a house. Now here I am feeling the expectation to be enough and to give enough for my dad, but resisting the urge the comply. Why? Because in the front of my head is MY VISION. I don’t not give because I’m selfish or greedy. I don’t give because I’m focused and hungry for MY FUTURE. I don’t splurge for myself. My sister does. She has fancier stuff in her house than I in mine. There’s no right or wrong but that’s why she gives more. She spends more than me in general.

I tell that story because if I would have caved so that I could become enough for my father I wouldn’t be enough for me. If anybody I love needs me I got them. I’ll give whatever I have at the drop of a dime. But I will not make it rain on them just for the fun of it. I will not forgo my vision for their TEMPORARY pleasure. And my decisions on how to invest my finances and live my life is ENOUGH FOR ME. I pray and trust that my family understands that.

Trust your vision

You can’t see your entire journey right now because if you did it might frighten you. Lisa says, “Some of you are trying to understand the how to see if you want the what. Choose the want and you’ll find the how.” You have to trust the vision you see when you look into your future. You might not know the how now and that not knowing may be for your benefit. Stay focused on the what. Don’t worry about the how. And don’t let the how make you give up on the what.

Clarity comes with commitment

“You keep saying you want clarity. The universe is saying I need commitment. I’ll give you the clarity.” Clarity comes from commitment. It comes from taking action. When you move more of the vision becomes clear to you. You don’t need to see what’s in the next town if you’re not willing to leave your street. Get committed first and then you will see.

There’s no hookup…

There’s just the culmination of decisions. I’ve said before, borrowing from the words of Robert Frost, “Way leads onto way. Goals lead onto goals. Progress leads on to progress.” There’s no hookup. You have to make decisions – usually small ones – over and over again. In fact, Lisa says, “micro decisions lead to your biggest moments.”

Check your proximity

Although she said there’s no magic in being next to her, Lisa also tells a story of her friend Ann. Ann and her husband are wealthy. At the time Lisa was still building her prosperity. Lisa would go to Ann’s house and just touch the furniture and the structure. She was believing it for herself. There’s power in proximity. I think about it for my own life in what I’m building. I’ve been around millionaires and million dollar business owners. There’s something special about that.

“I loved myself enough to ask her to be my friend.” – Lisa Nichols in reference to Ann

It’s important to surround yourself with like minded people. People to encourage you, inspire you, and lift you. You don’t need dream doubters and naysayers. You don’t need people with small vision. You need people who are going where you want to go or who are already there.

Lisa also says that you need a combination of leavers (as in people you leave) and chasers (as in people you chase) in your life. If you only have chasers you’ll always feel like your being left behind. If you just have leavers you’ll always be the best person in the room.

Check your proximity and adjust as needed.

Interrupt your patterns

“You have to pattern interrupt your habits so you can pattern interrupt your life.” You are your habitual actions and decisions. You are your routine. When you want to change your life you have to change the things you do everyday. Interrupt your daily habits so that you can interrupt your life.

Always know what you need next

It’s critical in life to identify what you need next. If you’re not constantly identifying what you need next you’re just going to be settling. If you’re not clear on what you need next you need clarity next. Sign up for a free clarity call with Charlene at www.transformwithcharlene.com.

Say goodbye

Sometimes you have to say goodbye to one season of your life to give birth to the next season of your life. And sometimes you need someone to help you walk to the next level of your life.

Sometimes when we think we’re stuck we just holding onto something that we should be letting go. Fear of the unknown, comforts, and confusion prevent us from moving on. Learn to say goodbye to old seasons of your life. Don’t just go into the next season of your life. Go in non-negotiable.

“The smartest thing I did 22 years ago was get a personal life coach.” – Lisa Nichols

Play big

The bigger you play the bigger the breakdown. If you’re not having breakdowns you’re not playing big enough. Expect breakdowns when you play big, but know that suffering is optional. You do not have to suffer. If you’ve chosen to suffer – maybe you’re choosing to suffer right now – know that it is optional. Grow, don’t crumble in face of your breakdowns.

What’s next?

You don’t have to know everything you just have to know where to get it. Don’t try to eat the elephant. Take a bite. Remember those micro decisions (and actions). Focus on what you need to do next. Where do you need to focus your attention next? What project do you need to work on next?

Take radical action

Action alone is not enough. You need to take radical action to accomplish your goals. Schedule your tasks. If it’s not in the schedule it’s not getting done.

Control your thoughts

Remove any conversation in your head that might interrupt your growth. Show yourself unconditional love. Give yourself grace. Quiet the voices inside your head – the judgments, the evaluations, the commentary so you can grow.

Don’t grow alone

Say it out loud, “I will not grow alone.” You need a support system to help you grow. That’s why it’s so important to surround yourself with like minded people. That’s why it’s so important to invest in coaching. That’s why I attend so many personal development events and have worked with so many coaches. It’s hard to grow alone. And it’s not as fun.

“A coach will tell you what you don’t want to hear so that you can be who you know you were meant to be.” – Susie Carder

Learn more about Lisa Nichols, Motivating the Masses, and her events, products, and coaching at www.motivatingthemasses.com. Learn more about Speak and Write to Make Millions at www.speakandwriteworkshop.com. Learn more about Susie Carder at www.susiecarder.com.

Your turn

Successful people have coaches. I worked with tons of coaches – Fitness, Business, Sales, Life, Book Writing coaches. Every time I want to go after something in my life that is currently out of reach I reach for a coach. It’s an important part of personal growth and development.

It used to be said that it takes a village to raise a child. We used to have daily access to the wisdom of our elders. We lived in smaller communities and stayed close to our village, our tribe. But now, with advancements in standards of living, careers, gender equality our village is more spread out then ever. Yet, we still need the support, the wisdom, and the guidance of someone experienced and/or trained to coach us along. The need and the value hasn’t gone away just because the way we live has evolved. You still need a helping hand. You still shouldn’t grow alone. And you don’t have to.

If there’s something that you want for your life that is currently out of reach and you’re ready to grab a hold of it I’d like to invite you to apply for a complimentary, no obligation clarity call with me. You can apply at www.transformwithcharlene.com. If you have big goals for your life, if you’re ambitious, and non-negotiable about your future it shouldn’t be a matter of IF you’re going to partner with a coach. It’s a matter of WHO. Who will you partner with on your life goals? I’m inviting you to consider me. Apply at the link above. I look forward to meeting you! ~ Charlene

Related Articles:

Tony Robbins’ How to Unleash the Power Within

Jack Canfield’s Getting to Great in One Day

Mary Morrissey’s DreamBuilder

Tony Gaskins Jr.’s Live A Balanced Life

Think and Grow Chick’s The PowerHouse (aka Powerful Woman)

Lessons From the Law of Attraction with Esther Hicks

 


FCTB028: Celebrate and Honor Yourself

My twin sister graduated with a Doctorate in Education, a truly big achievement, and she decided to host a big party to celebrate that.

This made me devote this episode on celebrating our accomplishments no matter how big or small – celebrating all the things we’ve done, and what we’ve gone through in our journey. Lisa Nichols said that what gets celebrated gets repeated, and I think this is reason enough for everyone to honor our journey and efforts towards our vision and goals.

Some of the points raised in this episode include:

  • Why I initially questioned the need to throw such a big party where our family and relatives converged – with balloons, banners, cakes, the works (0:51)!
  • A surprise that got me bending over backward to execute, which drove me to ask myself why I don’t do or buy the same things for myself (1:45).
  • The need to take time to celebrate ourselves, and not wait for big things or moments to do so (4:35).
  • Why a mindset that we still have so far to go and so much needed to accomplish prompts us to compare with others, feel inadequate with what we have, and keep us from going when we’re already 3 feet from gold (6:14).
  • A story of a 4-hour drive to Dallas where I had to borrow my sister’s car made me ponder on the reluctance of other people to celebrate their wins to protect the feelings of people they love and prevent others from feeling inferior (10:40).
  • How shining your light can improve your feelings, disposition, confidence and motivation, why these positive experiences must not be denied from ourselves, and how, in turn, it benefits those who come behind us (13:00).
  • The need for things in our lives to be aligned with whatever point of our lives we’re in, and honoring that our satisfying our needs – which can be through material things – can serve as a celebration of our growth, and allows us to show up better and give better (15:00).
  • The story behind the moniker Modest Charlene and why I encourage people not to be too modest and instead celebrate their victories (18:52).
  • Identifying areas that aren’t congruent in your life, and reasons why you’re holding back from celebrating (22:10).

How do you celebrate and honor yourself? It doesn’t matter if you do it in an intimate or grandiose manner, the important thing is your ability to give yourself a pat on the back for what you’ve done and reached. Doing so gives us positive reinforcement to do more and achieve more – and this ensures personal growth.

I would love to hear your thoughts and experiences on this episode’s topic. Share them in the comments section or email me directly at charlene@fromcaterpillarstobutterflies.com.

You can show your support by subscribing to the podcast via Patreon and get first dibs to episodes and other exclusive content. You can also find the show on iTunesSoundcloudStitcherGooglePlay, and Podbean – kindly leave the podcast a rating and review on the platform you’re listening to so we can reach more people and move up the rankings.

Thank you for listening and supporting From Caterpillars to Butterflies. Until next time!


Don’t Forget to Celebrate Yourself

My twin sister graduated with a Doctorate degree in Education this past weekend. My family came to Houston from Kentucky, Alabama, and Colorado, including my baby niece. It was a celebration! Good times were had by all.

I enjoyed celebrating my sister’s success. I ran around Houston the morning before to get the perfect gift for her and sneak it into her garage while she was out of the house with my mom’s help. She cried when she saw it. I loved it!  I gave a toast at the graduation party following the ceremony. (I may or may not have referenced her beautiful twin sister! 😂). We went to the beach on Sunday. All in all, I truly enjoyed the experience.

Yet when it comes to myself I don’t always pull out all the stops. A lot of the times I buy other people better gifts than I buy myself! My mastermind sister once called me “modest Charlene.” It’s true. I always say, “I only” or “I just” when it comes to something I’ve accomplished. In my head I have SOOOO far to go. What’s there to celebrate?

But celebrating feels good and it’s good for you. Not only is it good for you, it’s good for all the people who are a little bit behind you. Sometimes we’re so focused on who’s ahead of us and how far we have to go that we forget about those who are following behind us, watching us. We should celebrate ourselves and share our victories for those people too.

We should celebrate ourselves because we’re the first in line to celebrate and cheer for someone else. We should celebrate ourselves because if anyone deserves our praise and adulation it’s us!

So, don’t forget to celebrate yourself. For what?
– For making it through the week! (Amen!) 
– For keeping the peace when you could have let someone have it
– For trying something new
– For trying something old, again
– For eating healthy (at least once…you did eat healthy this week at least once, right?)
– For believing in yourself and your dreams
– For pushing through whatever walls you had to push through and I know you pushed through at least one wall in recent times

We don’t have to wait for the big moments in life to celebrate. We’re accomplishing feats every single day. Everyday we could crumble, give in, give up, and show out. But instead we preserve. We keep charging towards all that we know life can be. We maintain our character and integrity in a world full of the opposite. We show up again and again and are always willing to try just one more time.

And for that, let’s celebrate ourselves.

As you reflect on this last week or month of your life think of how you can celebrate and honor yourself, because you’re worth it. Life is lived in the small moments, not the big ones, so we should celebrate in the small ones. Small moments of celebration could give you the energy and resolve to keep going. It’s beneficial to stop and acknowledge how far we’ve come on a consistent basis. Celebrating your victories is an important part of your journey.

Don’t forget or neglect to celebrate yourself. You rock! You deserve it. You need it.

And as you stop to celebrate all that you are and are becoming, know that I celebrate you too!

C O N G R A T U L A T I O N S!  🎉🎉🎉

~ Charlene


FCTB027: How To Be Content Where You Are

A couple of days ago, I saw a post in social media that implied someone not being content with their life. Upon reading that, I wonder why people entertain negativity in their lives, and tend to wear their misery as a badge of honor.

My belief that life is a series of journeys where we ought to be always working our way towards something, pulled by a vision, lived in positivity, and putting our energy towards our goals’ realization.

Today, I tackled the negativity and discontent people experience navigating their lives, and how to deal with dissatisfaction when it is inevitable. Other areas I’ve discussed are:

  • Working towards a vision without despising where you are, and avoiding the misery whilst in the gap by training one’s self to shift mindset from focusing on negativities to the more satisfying parts of life (3:54).
  • The paradox of what people unanimously want out of their life vs. how they’re living it, and Esther Hick’s philosophy of being satisfied with right here and right now (4:30).
  • How practicing a contented mindset provides an individual to have the energy and motivation to work on goals, and how at the other end despair kills motivation and desire (6:03).
  • How satisfaction and dissatisfaction can co-exist in our life in a model similar to the Yin-Yang (8:05).
  • A narrative on how a family weekend gathering highlights how satisfaction and discontent can exist at the same time and space, how I responded to the situation, and how to find the overarching theme in this co-existence (9:10; 18:33).
  • The reason why people tend to focus on dissatisfaction, and how to properly acknowledge its presence and the friction (11:22).
  • Why we need to view dissatisfaction with our current situation as a blessing instead of a curse, and as an indication of growth (13:05; 20:40).
  • How to deal with dissatisfaction by identifying what’s causing it, acknowledging and taking actions to close the gap between discontent and contentment, and making the process of the closing the gap be your journey (15:20; 20:52).
  • Understand that as long as you’re committed to your life’s journey there’s no need to be unhappy, and despite obstacles, you’ll push through to get to your destination (17:22).
  • The importance of practicing being satisfied as they key to enjoy your experience of life (21:30).

Relevant Links:

Home of Abraham-Hicks Law of Attraction

You Are Meant To Transform (How A Caterpillar Becomes A Butterfly) | From Caterpillars to Butterflies

FCTB007: Why You Need A Personal Growth Plan and How to Create On | From Caterpillars to Butterflies

Feeling contentment in a fast world of unending demands may seem elusive, but it is just a matter of changing one’s mindset. I hope that this episode helps you to get into that mentality, and I challenge you to make that shift now.

Is this an area you need help with? Email me at charlene@fromcaterpillarstobutterflies.com or comment below so we can catch-up and see how we can work together towards a more satisfying life.

Thanks for tuning in and your constant support. Subscribe to the podcast via Patreon to get first dibs to episodes and other exclusive content. You can also find the show on iTunes, Soundcloud, Stitcher, GooglePlay, and Podbean. Remember to leave the podcast a rating and review on the platform you’re listening to so we can reach more people and move up the rankings.


FCTB026: How Your Personal Growth Influences Your Spiritual Growth and Vice Versa

If you’ve been following From Butterflies To Caterpillars for some time, you’d know that I advocate growth. I also believe that personal growth and how we live our lives is an extension of our spirituality. Personally, I find that the work I’m doing improving myself and helping others achieve personal growth serves a broader purpose and benefit the spiritual life.

 Faith without works is dead. James 2:20

I discuss why is it so, the different areas of our life that need growth, and how lacking in just one of these areas can stall our potential for success. The relationship between these facets of our life is the core of today’s episode and is what I will be expounding on today. Some of the points I raised on this episode are:

  • How difficulties in our lives prevent us from experiencing God and practicing our spirituality, and how our initiatives to overcome difficulties and grow on a personal level positions us to grow spiritually too (1:18).
  • The fruit of the spirit that help with our spirituality and how allowing these same fruits to transcend the other facets of our lives will translate and manifest into our visions and goals (3:10).
  • A story I’ve encountered recently that illustrates how one’s spirituality influences the principles which with you live your life with and experiences you go through (3:45).
  • My experience fueled by a worship song that put into words peoples’ journey, how growth and faith plays a big role as we traverse the great unknown, and in return how the journey brings us even closer to God (4:48; 8:18).
  • How focusing on fears and limitations keep us from going out in the water which can easily be aided through a growth mindset that goes beyond these, surpassing who we are and what we’re capable of (7:57).
  • The reason why our gifts and talents shouldn’t be hidden and must be used and shared with others as shown in the Parable of Talents (9:11).
  • What we should do in the instance that we are called to use our gifts but lacked the knowledge and confidence (13:00).
  • The three areas of our life that we must constantly work on and keep updated (15:10).
  • A story of how my faith was tested when I delved on real estate investing with my family (17:18).
  • An apparent discrepancy I noticed attending events over the number of people interested in growing spiritually, personally and technically (19:37).
  • The importance of people’s growth on the three areas of life intertwining making them unstoppable (21:20)

Grow in multiple facets. Multiply your talents. Learn the technical know-how. Be driven by personal growth. Worship and grow in your faith. Combine and intertwine them – then you will be unstoppable. Go be unstoppable. Go walk on water.

Growth is a cycle of learning, mastery and transcending into a higher level of even more learning. My challenge to you as I end this episode is to create a lifestyle where you’re always embracing growth.

Relevant Links:
The Truth About Purpose | From Caterpillars to Butterflies 

Oceans by Hillsong United | Spotify

The Parable of Talents | Bible Gateway

I appreciate the time you take listening and the support you’ve given to the show. Subscribe to From Butterflies to Caterpillars on Patreon to get first dibs to episodes and other perks. You can also find the show on iTunes, Soundcloud, Stitcher, GooglePlay, and Podbean. Remember to leave the podcast a rating and review on the platform you’re listening to. This allows us to reach more people and move up the rankings.

I hope you learned a key takeaway or two today. If you have feedback or questions, I want to hear from you! Give me a shout out through the comments or by dropping me an email at charlene@fromcaterpillarstobutterflies.com. Let’s chat and see if we can work together on your personal and spiritual growth. If what you listened to today has been useful for you, feel free to share it with other too.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Always said that personal growth is intertwined with spiritual.

Work I do in personal growth serves a broader purpose and benefit in spiritual.

1:18 When someone is down they’re gonna have a hard time experiencing God and resting in his presence as there are things suppressing their spiritual awareness.

1:48 As you grow personally, you can position yourself to grow spiritually as well, and vice versa.

2:36 When you’re in a funk, insecure, or unworthy, then spirituality will be difficult. As you grow as a person, you also develop as a spiritual being.

3:10 The fruits of the spirit:  love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control

As you grow spiritual, these same fruits will manifest and translate in your life and goals.

3:45 Story online – book kept her marriage together by agreeing to an open marriage.

4:29 Spirituality influences the principles you live your life with and the experiences you go through.

4:48 Plane to San Diego, tarmac in Houston. Stirred up with a song by Hillsong United

5:41 I’ve been in a similar journey into the great unknown as the one being described in the song

6:09 A lot of times we’re reluctant, we not know enough, not skilled enough – this is the reason we need to grow into our purpose and our gifts. Through growth we’ll learn and be ready until the realization of our vision comes and happens.

7:57 We’re not going out to the water. Too focused on who or what we’re not, we don’t have and incapable of. Growth mindset goes beyond what we’re not and what we can’t, instead it transcends so we are and we’re capable.

8:18 “There I find You”. You find god in the midst of your calling and spiritual gifts. Helps you increase your faith.

9:11 your gifts aren’t for you, it shouldn’t be hidden – it is meant to be shared with others.

9:48 Parable of talents.

11:31 Burying our talents – we don’t wanna lose in the process, we think it is safer, too afraid to walk out into the great unknown. Living cautiously is criminal.

12:44 Not using your talents – thrown into darkness, despair, unhappiness.

13:00 Called to use our gifts but if we lacked knowledge, confidence, skill set, it is upon us to learn it. If you don’t use what you have you won’t be getting more.

14:39 How many times we have let go of something that would’ve been a gift because we are unwilling to hrow?

15:10 We know we’re supposed to grow and keep ourselves updated constantly.

16:35 As you grow personally it positions you to grow spiritually.

Personal, spiritual, technical growth together

17:18 Started investing in real estate, family joined me and we worked on a property together.

18:53 You may have the faith to get there, but will you have the faith to stay there? No, you need to grow.

19:37 Tony Robbins event. 9k people. Few black people. The same venue with a bishop, packed with black people.

21:20 Faith without works is dead. But if you’re too paralyzed or undisciplined to work, then you’re not gonna bring about what you’re having faith for.


FCTB025: How to Be Powerful

There’s been a lot of talk about power lately in my life. A few weeks ago, I was in an event with Courtney Sanders of Think and Grow Chick and a Facebook Live with Renee Lamb on Power Poses.

I decided that I should share with you, my followers, how to be powerful. As a prelude, I want to stress that I fully encourage purposefully and strategically creating our own opportunities and set ourselves to be successful. But these must be done within bounds – not resorting to manipulating or conniving with our relationships.  I also support emulating other people’s strategies towards success. But it must be applied through the foundation of authenticity to one’s self and treating lessons from coaches and mentors as reinforcement instead of a panacea to our challenges.

I have created a 7-point guide on the principles on what it takes to be powerful, together with some anecdotes that I discussed.

Know who you are. You’ll never be powerful living misaligned to who you truly are. Knowing who you are also entails that your thoughts and beliefs are congruent with your actions. Know what you stand for, believe in, and value; and what your purpose, gifts, and strengths are. Leading with your strengths and gifts allows you to operate in your power (1:13).

Have good character. Power with poor character is not sustained in the long term. We’ve seen big companies fail due to this. Always check your character at the door: be honest, never mislead people, following through on what you said you would, and look out for the best interest of the people. This way power is not bestowed through sheer authority but through respect (2:36).

Be authentic. You can’t be powerful if you’re adapting on some other personality. “Don’t be clever. Be authentic.” Cleverness evokes a sense of superficiality – which is not a powerful trait (3:59). Creating relationships without authenticity, operating on a scripted spiel and pitch wouldn’t win you followers or get you buyers – it will only create doubt and confusion. In opposite, you can gravitate towards a stranger who does not purposefully try to sell you something but is speaking authentically (5:08).

Suspend your own personal agenda. The most powerful people are the ones who are not pursuing a personal agenda but are instead helping and uplifting those around them. Powerful people don’t lead with personal agenda, and sometimes don’t even have one – choosing to reflect the agenda of the company/team they represent (9:20). And when they do, they don’t beat around the bush and just lay it on the table (15:27).

Control Yourself. Power is like energy – it cannot be created nor destroyed, but it can be transferred. Controlling people is an illusion, instead have the discipline to control yourself – your thoughts, emotions, words, and behavior. The thought that by controlling people, they are relinquishing their power to you is a misnomer – you can diminish other people’s power but it can never be taken away. Powerful people knows their power comes from themselves, not other people (16:05).

Be Present. You can’t be powerful if you’re not present. It’s hard to be powerful when you’re in your head thinking about what other people think about you. Sitting in self-pity, self-doubt, insecurity – will not make you powerful (18:45).

You own your results. Whatever circumstance you are in the present, own your results. Don’t blame it on time, money, the weather, or other people. Don’t give up too soon. Stay on something long enough to make it work (19:53).

Relevant Links:

Think & Grow Chick | Achievement tips for ambitious chicks

What 11 Highly Successful People Were Doing in Their 20s | Mic

Friday (1995 film) | IMDb

Power is perceived as this huge thing that outsiders see emanated by an individual, controlling others. The reality is it starts small, from within, and it entails a foundation based on truth, restraint, goodness, and accountability. These are what it takes to be powerful beyond belief.

I hope this episode allows you the true nature of power. If this is an area you are working on, I would like to hear your thoughts. Give me a shout-out on the comments section or email me at charlene@fromcaterpillarstobutterflies.com if there’s anything you want to share or would want to work with me.

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Coaching Through Your Blindspots

I got a car wash the other day. I’m not one of those people who keep their cars clean so it had been a while. Don’t judge me.  Every time I get in my car now and look in my side view mirrors the view is so crystal clear. I’m taken aback. Who’s car is this?! My vision hasn’t been this clear since I don’t know when. What’s interesting is that before I got my car washed I didn’t realize that my mirrors were dusty. I didn’t realize my vision wasn’t as optimal as it could be. The dingy side view mirrors became my norm. In a sense they were my blind spot. I didn’t know something was obstructing my vision. Now that my mirrors have been washed I realize how much better I can see. Being that I can see better I can now drive better and get to my destination better.

Sometimes this is how our lives are. We think we’ve got it together. We think we’re doing the right thing at the right time. We think we’re living up to our fullest potential, our grand vision. Yet, we don’t realize that the view is a little obstructed. Sometimes we need a washing so to speak. We need someone or something to show us just how dusty we really are. Sometimes we need help seeing clearer so that we can drive towards our visions more effectively. Sometimes we need help seeing the road that leads us to where we most want to be.

As a coach, I help people identify and maneuver around their blind spots. I help them get crystal clear on their vision. If you don’t know where you’re going any road will take you there. That is until you arrive to the destination and realize it’s not where you want to be.

If your vision is a little blurry, maybe the road you’re traveling is getting bumpy, I’d like to invite you to explore the possibilities of partnering with a life coach. To learn more about coaching and to schedule a complimentary clarity session visit the Coaching Page.


FCTB024: The Value of Practicing Gratitude & Tools to Support You

It has been said that “It’s not happy people who are thankful, it is thankful people who are happy”. I also found these definitions of gratitude and I wanted to share these with everyone.

Gratitude is our ability to see the grace of God, morning by morning, no matter what else greets us in the course of the day. – M. Craig Barnes

Gratitude a gracious acknowledgment of all that sustains us, a bow to our blessings, great and small. – Jack Kornfield

Gratitude is a thankful appreciation for what an individual receives.

Gratitude is one of those things that we forget about. Buried and suppressed underneath the routine, tasks, and challenges that come with daily life. Today I will be talking about why is it important to practice gratitude and how doing so can influence and affect us holistically.

To be able to discuss this lesson in mindfulness effectively, I shared:

  • A story of how the lack of gratitude, the presence of negative energy and focusing on burdens and complaints can manifest in different aspects of our life and opportunities (3:05).
  • How my dog Ivy is a great example of how the ebb and flow of feelings of burden and gratitude occur (5:45).
  • Scientific researches conducted illustrating how practicing gratitude affects individuals’ outlook, behavior, and most remarkably health – supporting longevity, diminishing stress, and decreasing risk of complications in the cardiovascular and nervous system (9:10).
  • What is the Losada Ratio a.k.a. Nagging Ratio, and how it is correlated with the success of a marriage or relationship (4:00).
  • How gratitude plays a role in achieving a healthier social life, enhancing energy levels and spirituality, creating better career opportunities, improving finances, and curbing materialism (15:19).
  • The things I am thankful for, my habits to be reminded of these (16:52), and other practices to remain thankful, express and nurture gratitude (21:24).

It is true that we don’t know what we’ve got until it’s gone. We all sometimes feel burdened by a lot of things that are actually blessings. It is a matter of changing our outlook and appreciating what we have to realize this. I hope this episode will help you remain mindful and practice gratitude – especially the meditation portion!

Relevant Links:
The Magic of Thinking Big by David Schwartz | Amazon
The Psychology of Gratitude by Dr. Michael McCullough and Dr. Robert Emmons
Counting Blessings Versus Burdens | by Dr. Michael McCullough and Dr. Robert Emmons
The Ideal Praise-to-Criticism Ratio
The Power of Positivity, In Moderation: The Losada Ratio

Is this an area you are struggling with and would like my help on? Or do you know someone who’ll benefit with this episode? Email me at charlene@fromcaterpillarstobutterflies.com or comment below so we can catch-up and see how we can work together.

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